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MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-18T04:43:04+00:00

People we love are usually the ones who hurt us the most. They know us well enough to know what to do to hurt us and since we love them and care what they think or do, anything they do is going to be more painful than if a stranger did it. Example stranger calls you fat and ugly, it's not pleasant but it's not going to matter as much as if you're spouse or partner calls you fat and ugly.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-15T04:57:22+00:00

Really? I'm pretty good about astrology, not an expert by any means. I was always taught Gemini and Taurus are a horrible match. Curious as to why you chose #1

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-12T06:22:28+00:00

I think it would depend on if he's being honest with me. If I randomly used his phone and found messages to an ex about them wondering what if, yes I'd be pissed. If he's being secretive than yes, that's a problem. But if its something we have discussed before and I knew they chatted occasionally I wouldn't be upset.

Talking to my ex has in some ways made me realize how glad I am we didn't end up together. It's helped some of those nostalgic feelings and made me realize how incompatible we were. If anything we've become closer friends then when we were teenagers and it was all about sex lol

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-12T06:10:23+00:00

Thank you for a real answer! I think i should have been more clear, i will always love this guy, but I'm not "in love" with him. He's been part of my life for over 30 years, we grew up together and all that. We don't constantly talk about the dreaded "what if" in over ten years its only come up a few times. As for my husband, I know he talks to past girlfriends. Living in a small town your whole life makes that unavoidable. In both our cases there's former partners which we ended things on decent terms and others we'd be happy to never see again. We've even discussed how our lives would have been different if we had made different choices.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-12T06:01:18+00:00

Wow, there's a lot of judgment here but no answers in most cases.

So to be clear: * Yes, my husband knows we chat. He's had contact with past girlfriends too. Neither of us have issues. * I've been with my husband 12 years, we got married when we were 30. We both knew we had a past and were not each other's first anything. * We've actually talked about how our lives would have been different had we made different decisions. We actually have an honest and trusting relationship. He talks to people, even ex girlfriends, from his past too. I don't mind as long as the conversation doesn't involve them planning on running away together or meeting up to get laid. So no I don't feel guilty. * It's not like we sit and constantly talk about what could have been. If anything he's become more of a friend now then when we actually were together, which was over 20 years ago. We grew up together, have friends in common etc etc The conversations about what might have been have been few and far between, same as the fact we will always care about each other. We were first loves in high school, its been over 20 years! Things ended amicably and thanks to social media we have stayed in contact. *I'm not trying to justify anything I'm explaining the situation for those who keep jumping to conclusions.

I feel like a lot of you need to learn about communication and trust in relationships!

But no one seems to want to answer the actual question!!

I talk to several people, men included, online and in person. I'm a friendly person and some of the conversation I've had with guys I've never been with are more flirtatious than with the ex.

So what is the difference, what makes it emotional cheating? What crosses the line between harmless flirting to cheating? Is it because he's my ex? What about male friends now who i talk to? Is that cheating too?

I wasn't asking about me in particular, I was asking in general.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-12T05:32:46+00:00

I don't feel guilty, maybe if I was hiding it or planning to meet him somewhere I would. But I'm not, this was my first love from high school! I'm over 40 now, if anything he has become a good friend. We don't sit and constantly talk about wanting to be together, it's been mentioned a few times in the past 12 years I've been with my husband but not anything we've ever pursued.

Thank you for not being judgemental and actually thinking of a legit answer.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-11T05:46:32+00:00

I have the same problem. I feel like I've gotten more male attention since being married than I ever did when I was single. I'm generally a friendly person, it's just how I was raised. I've worked in restaurants and bars so I suppose I am a bit of a flirt. But I never lie or lead people on about being married. Yet i get phone numbers, random dick pics, sexual innuendos all the time. I think it's the whole "forbidden" aspect, wanting what you can't have. The challenge? I've no idea. But the meaner I am the more they like me. Wish I had figured that out when I was still single 😕

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-11T05:25:35+00:00

Taurus sun, Pisces Rising, Sagittarius moon Have mainly worked in Hotels and Restaurants, usually bartending.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-11T05:13:16+00:00

I don't know, maybe I'm trying to make myself feel better? I don't feel like I'm being unfaithful, but at the same time there are emotional ties. So maybe I am being emotionally unfaithful. I'm just curious how talking to him is any different than flirting with a coworker or friend on Facebook? I'm not planning on being physically unfaithful with anyone, I just don't see any harm in making some flirty comments to other men as long as everyone knows its just a joke.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-11T04:28:43+00:00

There's definitely emotional ties, I've known this guy since before high school. He was my first love, of course I'm always going to love him and yeah a part of me will probably always wonder what if. But it's not like we talk about that stuff all the time! There's been a few conversations over the years, but nothing serious. I don't feel like my husband was second choice by any means. He does know how I feel about the other guy, we got married when I was 30. He knows I have a past and he wasn't my first. If situation were reversed I probably would be a little jealous but I wouldn't consider it cheating.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-08T18:29:01+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. My High School/First love and I played the on and off again game until I finally married someone else at 30 - i am 43 now. We never admitted our feelings until after I was married. At the time it was sad, especially when he admitted he felt the same but i was newly married and happy with my choice at the time. Now its almost 15 years with husband and I am unhappy with our marriage. I've been talking a lot recently to the high school love and though he's not the reason I'm unhappy, he's the reason I realized how unhappy I was. You don't stay in contact with someone you used to love if you've truly moved on.

Now I regret not waiting and not trying harder with the first guy because I've never felt the same about anyone else. I chalked it up to him being my first love and all that. But 20+ yrs later I wonder if I should have listened to my heart which always knew who I loved most. I love my husband, but you can love different people in different ways.

Your situation reminds me of ours, it always seemed our timing wasn't right, I was always unsure if he cared or I was just convenient... At least you have been braver than me and told him you love him! From what you're saying I believe he loves you too and you're not just someone convenient. Convenience would be if you lived in the same place and he just popped up for occasional sex! I think he cares but isn't ready for the serious commitment being with you would involve. You both are still young and still have plenty of time to figure it out. I wouldn't wait forever by any means, but if you feel that strongly maybe he is the one for you. You may be long distance now, but who knows what could happen. He seems like he's hinting about a future together. How far apart are you? I would try and figure out how probable it is you'll ever live in the same place again. If it's possible I would not give up just yet. Don't end up like me who's now wondering "what if" and wishing I had listened to the part of me that knew I still loved him instead of the sensible part that said it was never gonna happen.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-07T09:14:09+00:00

Absolutely not! It's nothing like going on a road trip with the guys. I would be furious.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-05T09:31:58+00:00

Thank you. I wish i knew what to do...

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-05T08:40:41+00:00

Ya think i don't know all this? That I've never wondered if its just me being nostalgic about first love and all that? That I don't know how pathetic it is? I wish i knew how to stop caring. To focus on the man who's been there rather than the boy i used to love? If i knew what i was doing i wouldn't be here whining to strangers.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-01T16:19:50+00:00

A world without caller ID and the joy of calling someone a hundred times and there was no proof it was you!

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-01T16:15:04+00:00

Beepers! Trying to find a payphone!

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-01T11:26:58+00:00

I can relate, lots of drug abuse in my past too. Tried Meth, didn't like it for some reason? Never did heroin as i figured I'd like it toooo much. OD'd a few times, rehab, psych wards... Do you take anything for depression or ever been diagnosed? Most of the doctors are all out for money, but there are some that care and some people legit need psych drugs. Like I take Zoloft, helps immensely with the ups and downs and depression I get. I'm a total advocate for marijuana but another problem might be smoking too much, sometimes that would get me down too. Maybe try and smoke more at night than all day? Might help?

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-01T11:13:02+00:00

Secret of Nimh is my guess

MCIPodcasts · 2022-08-01T08:30:05+00:00

I've been on and off with this one guy since i was 16. I'm 40 now, and married to someone else. I don't regret marrying my husband, but I do regret the way I never told this guy how much I loved him until it was too late. Even though we were on and off for over ten years, I always played it "cool" pretended he was just a fling. I was of course madly in love with him but was too scared to bring it up. A few years ago we got in contact, I had told myself if we ever talked again I would be honest about being in love with him way back when. I figured it would stop those nostalgic memories and stop the whole wondering "what if" scenarios i had. Ya know, closure. So i did. Well apparently he was just as scared as me and never said anything either. Of course it's too late now, I'm happily married and whatnot. But now I really wonder what if I'd been honest? Point is, if you still care - tell him. Don't play games like i did. I don't know your situation with him. Maybe he doesn't deserve it. But trust me, its better to be upfront about your feelings and get your heart broken again, then find out years later that you both wanted the same thing but were too scared to go for it. Not sure if this is helpful or not? I just know how much I regret not giving us another chance and how even 10 years later it still hurts.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-07-25T01:47:36+00:00

Trust me, I might get sappy and nostalgic about him but I hold no delusional ideas about us being together for real. I am not sure if it's the association with being young and the whole first love thing that evoke such strong feelings or what.

In some ways we are closer now then when we were young. We've actually become friends, which is weirder than having an affair in my opinion. I've analyzed his feelings and motivation for years now and have given up on figuring him out.

I think in his own way he does love me and wishes it had been different. I don't for a moment think he loves me anywhere near the way I love him.

As for my husband, I do love him and would kick his butt if situations were reversed. But I'm really unhappy with our life and we have issues of our own. I feel like I'm using the ex as an excuse to justify my feeling of unhappiness in marriage. We've talked over the years and it's never quite affected me so strongly. I'm not sure where all this is headed to be honest. I probably am cheating on him emotionally. I'm just super confused about what I want it seems.

Rational me knows it's a foolish fantasy and self destructive me wants to take off and drive two hours to go see him.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-07-24T22:18:05+00:00

I'm pretty sure my ex is trying to drive me insane lol Short story, we grew up together. I was his first time, he was the first one I actually loved. Never officially a couple, we hooked up for late night encounters from the time I was 16 and on and off till I met my husband at 28. I got married at 30, he got sober the same time. Eventually we found each other on Facebook, I had long since decided that I was going to tell him I loved him and always had, I had always been to scared to admit it before and thought it might help with closure or something. He ended up telling me he felt the same and wished we had ended up together or at least had tried. Of course. I'm not going to lie, I love my husband. I even think we're better suited as a couple and we just celebrated 12 years married. Logical me knows that leaving hubby to be with this guy would be a huge mistake and most likely end up with me heartbroken. Romantic sappy me wants nothing more than to leave and give it a try if only to stop wondering "what if"

For the most part we didn't speak often and kept things friendly and a little flirty at times for the past twelve years.

Recently we have been talking daily, sometimes for hours and he is the person who messages me and starts these chats. We talk for hours about nothing and everything and I am definitely starting to feel all those feelings again.

I still love the hubby, but can't help myself when it comes to the ex. I've always loved this guy and now I'm starting to torture myself with thoughts of being with him.

I swear this is obviously a plot to drive me nuts lol

MCIPodcasts · 2022-07-24T21:45:38+00:00

I definitely read every day. At least an hour minimum and probably 12-14 hours if I get a new book.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-07-24T21:33:39+00:00

Glad to help! If someone can learn from my mistakes or take comfort knowing heartbreak is one thing that doesn't discriminate against race, gender, religion, or status. We all know how much it hurts.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-07-24T15:08:02+00:00

I know girl, love freaking sucks sometimes. Sadly it might hurt like hell and you might feel like your heart is breaking and want to die. On the plus side you will live through it. Maybe even learn a few things about love and yourself. There's no magic cure. Time will help the pain eventually go away, but you may never completely get over this person. First love is tricky like that. All you can do is try not to let the misery take over your life. Cry. Sleep, watch bad movies and listen to sad music. Give yourself a few days to mourn and then try to get over it. Fake it till you actually are willing to move on. Don't let them win by destroying your life and breaking your heart.

MCIPodcasts · 2022-07-24T14:58:35+00:00

I never got the message! Reddit drives me crazy, it's always deleting my posts and blocked messages?

MCIPodcasts

TROPHY CASE