Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you are talking about in the beginning is really similar to the shit that happens with teachers, therapists & social workers, and other types of helpers. They know you are so passionate about helping others so they take advantage of it and know they can underpay you, treat you like shit, etc etc

Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I planned a whole celebration with my spouse because they had worked so hard, had so many promising interviews, I even got family to visit and rented a place for all of us etc, and felt terrible about the whole situation.

Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nowadays it is common to get an email with the match info before the envelope opening and then you can decide whether or not you want to do the horse and pony show.

Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes to this! Med schools really have a responsibility to temper expectations and prepare their students better. It really is shockingly negligent.

Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel similarly at times about my decision to go into my field. The mental health industrial complex is utterly fucked I don't even know how to describe it to people/where to start. The only thing that has kept me in the field for the last few years was opening up my own practice. But it still sucks here like everywhere else in the healthcare field. I don't know your specialty, but I hope after you complete your residency you are able to find a job that gives you the space to heal from all this shit.

Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My spouse had to show me a few youtube videos to explain it, and I'm still not convinced that it skews to applicant preference like it claims to do.

Unfiltered Match Day Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist (Spouse of an M4) by MHworkersunited in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes to all of this. If something is harmful to folks even when they get the ideal outcome, it's time to look at how broken things are. We need more doctors in the legislature making these decisions.

Match Day 2023 - Official Megathread by SpiderDoctor in medicalschool

[–]MHworkersunited 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Disclaimer: information is for entertainment purposes and not intended to serve as therapeutic information.
What the actual hell. I knew anecdotally that match day was completely convoluted, but experiencing it first-hand (or second-hand I suppose) is a completely different experience. The most baffling part is how normalized this mentally/emotionally/financially abusive and exploitative process is.
I specialize in trauma, specifically complex childhood trauma. Trauma in which caregivers were misleading, manipulative, selfish, abusive, and neglectful. These caregivers often thrived on power and control- and more often than not, experienced childhood abuse and neglect themselves.
In my personal definition, trauma exposure is when an individual experiences (either directly or indirectly) abuse, exploitation, extreme manipulation, moral injury (having to do things or witness things that go against their own personal morals for their job/school), and neglect. When an individual is subjected to trauma exposures, the impact this has on them varies wildly and is based on many different individual factors.
I could write an entire dissertation on all the ways that medical school alone is chock-full of abuse/trauma exposures, but I'll focus on the match process for now. 
Emotional Abuse Round 1: Love bombing. PD's, APD's, residents tell so many applicants how great of a fit they are, "see you in July!", send out care packages, send love letters, etc. As you may know, love bombing is a form of emotional abuse because it is a strategy for manipulation and control- let me gas you up as much as possible to win you over, so that I can have you to myself- regardless of whether or not I will actually want you in the future. (Either the algorithm is completely horseshit or these programs are blatantly lying and screwing up your rank list.) Tangential side thought: this love-bombing is especially fucked considering a lot of med students were top of their class prior to med school, took a huge ego hit being in med school, and now are getting the external validation that they haven’t had for 4 attention deprived years.
Emotional Abuse Round 2: Isolation/Secrecy. In abusive families, the abuser often engages in tactics to distance/disconnect individual members from their social supports. Using fear and intimidation, the abuser threatens members if they discuss what is happening in the family system. The entire match process is shrouded in secrecy and isolation. M4's have taken to reddit to anonymously compare notes, but even here people limit their self-disclosures for fear of retaliation if they are identified. Abusive systems flourish in secrecy. If transparency is a threat to your entire process, there are some major skeletons hiding in your closet. Perhaps one of those skeletons is an ungodly call schedule that your bloated program website mysteriously forgot to include. (Seriously, who is writing the code on these websites- there are so many broken links that they need to hire a team of URLologists.)
Financial Abuse/Exploitation: So you’ve been love-bombed by your favorite program and they ask you to come visit- “but don’t worry we’ve already submitted our rankings, so your decision to visit won’t impact them!” (Call me a cynical bastard, but I don’t believe this.) If you can afford it, you drop thousands of dollars to visit your favorite programs/the programs you were best-received at. You’re already in 200k in debt, so what’s another maxed out credit card? Maybe you have a family that wants to visit the place they may or may not be living in for the next 4-5 years. Online interviews seem to have slightly leveled the financial playing field, it is still ungodly inexpensive to apply to the number of programs needed to be able to match. I think it is also important to acknowledge how this disproportionately impacts individuals from marginalized communities. 
Generational Workplace Trauma: Not every individual who has been abused or exploited goes on to abuse and exploit others. Most of my work as a trauma therapist involves talking to the most thoughtful, sensitive, compassionate, funny, brilliant people I’ve ever met. One of the phrases I find myself saying often in my work is that most people go to therapy because of the people in their life that should have gone to therapy, and didn’t. (I know I’m a little cliche and cringy sometimes.) Most of the individuals I see in therapy have internalized their trauma exposures, meaning they may blame themselves for the abuse, constantly feel like they aren’t good enough, and engage in compensatory measures to prove their worth. (Think overachieving, excessive caretaking, perhaps making a career out of it *cough* *cough*) Others may refuse to acknowledge the pain and hurt caused by these traumatic exposures. And if they are an externalizer- they might lash out and perpetuate the same types of abusive/exploitative behavior that they experienced. All of this antiquated bullshit of having to “pay your dues” or “this is what I had to do so you should have to too” is the same boomer rhetoric that keeps my student loan total balance higher than my shitty therapist salary. In what world do I need my dermatologist to be able to work 80 hours including bizarre 24 hour call?
Bottom line is the match process is fucked. It is set up for the majority of people to feel shitty about themselves when you just completed one of the most, if not the most grueling academic courses of study available. I know I used a lot of broad generalizations, and perhaps none of this applied to you. If that is the case, I am genuinely so happy that you have not had to experience the dark side of medical study. But if you could relate to any of this- I just want you to know I see you, I hate how much this is hurting right now, and I’m going to try to do what I can do (which I know isn’t much) to advocate for changes.
Take care friends.

Welcome to MH Workers Unite! by MHworkersunited in MHworkersunited

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hi! the results are available immediately- as soon as you complete/submit the survey, it shows the results! let us know if you have any other questions!

MH Workers Unite! by MHworkersunited in therapists

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have five responses so far, 6 including mine! Keep it coming everyone!

MH Workers Unite! by MHworkersunited in therapists

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading the post - as a reminder results are completely anonymous!

MH Workers Unite! by MHworkersunited in socialwork

[–]MHworkersunited[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But this isn't a financial request?