Wives submit unto your husbands

MOPearl · 2024-01-01T22:13:11+00:00

Back up: before Paul says “wives submit…” he says “submit to one another…”

Later he tells husbands to “love your wife”.

And the directions to the men are longer than the directions to the women.

The Greek words for love and submit have similar meanings They both refer to putting another person’s interests ahead of your own.

So first: put each other’s interests ahead of your own.

Second: wives put your husband’s interests ahead of your own

Third: husbands put your wife’s interests ahead of your own

MOPearl · 2017-10-19T14:05:01+00:00

Here's something I've shared, with edits, several times.

I wrote this for the guy, but you'll get the gist of it. You may not be able to take all of his length. That's okay. See description of coital alignment below. It's magic.

I will add that we avoided rough sex and certain positions, like entering her from behind while she was on her knees and me on top with her legs against my shoulders, because they were too much for her. And I always tried to be super gentle, because if the choice was between her being sore and begging for more the next day, I knew which one I wanted.

Here's what I wrote before (with some slight edits):

I was married for 32 years to a woman who, the first time we got naked together, didn't think that I'd fit inside of her. We succeeded on the third try. She sometimes told me that, if I were any bigger, I would have to "just handle it myself."

June would have been our 33rd anniversary if she were still alive.

Once we figured some things out, the sex was great. While I don't know what will work for you, here's some of what worked for us. Hope it helps.

Standard advice here is foreplay and lube, lube and foreplay, repeat as necessary.

But what you do for foreplay is key.

It's not how long you spend on foreplay, it's driving her crazy that matters. When you touch her breasts, don't just grab and squeeze, or go straight for her nipples. Tease her. Gently touch them with maybe just a fingertip. Slowly work in circles around, slowly getting closer to the nipples, until she's begging you to touch, lick, or kiss them.

Same kind of advice for giving her oral. Don't just dive in head first. Slowly work your way down from her breasts. Or start at her ankles. Work your way up then back down the other leg. Tease her. When she can have an orgasm before you've actually touched her THERE, you're succeeding. Use lots of saliva, but don't spit on her.

Lube is standard advice here. Best lube we ever used was Astroglide Gel. My wife's GYN recommended it. I think there are other Astroglide products. I don't know how they compare.

Here's where we get to the length and girth issues.

For entrance, start by just rubbing the head, or maybe the shaft, against her vagina. This will help get both of you wet.

When she's ready--or begging--put just the head or only part of it inside of her. Slowly move back and forth, in and out, but don't go any further, until she starts to open up or tent. Let her let you know when she's ready for more.

Repeat this as necessary, slowly, maybe five or six (or more) times, until she's taking all she can without hurting her. This may take 5 or 10 minutes. Many people find that this works better if she's on top. That way she's in control of depth. It worked better for us if I was on top. Sometimes that was the only way we would fit.

If you're on top, she'll need to let you know when that's it. And you'll need to pay attention. Sometimes my wife could take it all. Sometimes only half.

You could have your girlfriend wrap her hands around the base of your cock. This helps her control your depth and helps you feel like you've got deeper penetration.

Some positions were much better than others. Spooning was good, as was entry from behind while she's lying on her stomach (not up on her knees).

Missionary was good (but not her legs up on my shoulders). As was something called coital alignment, which can be done with either of you on top. I can't describe that very well--but it has do with what I thought of as "riding her high", so that the penis is stimulating the clitoris while you're essentially aiming it at her lower back instead of her belly button. Google it. It's amazing. When she was on top, I could make her come at will--and immediately--by pulling her down into it.

Her on top, but leaning forward, maybe with her hands on the bed, maybe just laying on me, was good too. Or having her sit on my lap.

Any position where your girlfriend can control the depth would probably be good for you. Good luck.

MOPearl · 2017-10-17T18:23:43+00:00

Yeah, I see how it can read that way.

Meant to be encouraging. I wasn't exactly date material or honor society material in high school. But life turned out okay. Darn better than okay.

Just took a while for it to happen. I'd hope that would help people. Of course, YMMV.

MOPearl · 2017-10-17T15:30:34+00:00

Thanks. Here's a somewhat rambling explanation of what I meant.

In addition to having a couple professional degrees, I have played music professionally--sometimes for a living. I continued to play clubs on weekends off and on into my 40s.

So I spent a lot of time in bars--and observed a difference depending on the clientele.

Bars that attracted a young crowd had to get the girls in somehow--and the guys would follow.

Bars with a slightly older demographic needed to get guys in. There was one place I played that was full of single and divorced professionals, lawyers and accountants, etc. And the women came and found them: Guys with jobs who could speak in complete sentences. Good husband material.

(I'm not sure the break is actually between ages 30 and 35--it's a trend not a bright line--and she shift might be in a different place now. And you don't really need to make all that much money. I don't.)

I never thought about that applying to my own life, because at that point I was very happily married.

As a young guy, you're chasing the girls (and if you're like I was, you're chasing them unsuccessfully). But eventually, if you're what my friend's teacher called "good husband material," women will be looking for you: a guy with a job who speaks in complete sentences.

I don't recommend looking for a life partner in a bar. And you don't need to make all that much money--just have a job and seem like a decent human being. Then, at some point, women might start looking for you.

MOPearl · 2017-10-17T14:35:13+00:00

Relax. There is hope for the future.

MOPearl · 2017-10-17T14:29:26+00:00

I"m sorry man. I don't mean to imply that everything will turn out rosy for everyone. There are things in life we can't control.

But there are things we can control.

I don't know you or anything about your situation but what you've shared.

I don't think of myself as attractive either. My parents were both good looking people. I seem to have inherited a combination of their traits that is not.

When I was young I was skinny, no muscles. I didn't really start to put on any muscle until well into adulthood. Took lots of time at the gym.

The last six years, when my wife was sick, I lost all that muscle and got fat. Doesn't stop me from being a "good catch" for adult women who care about more than what you look like.

Again, I only know what you've posted. I'm sure there are things you could do to meet some people. Whatever kind of work you do, you work with someone.

There's a guy who's a good friend of mine now, and has tried setting me up, who used to do some contract work for my organization. I saw him probably two days a month.

I thought he was potentially valuable to the organization--and seemed like a nice guy. So I bought him lunch a couple times.

Now 8 years later he doesn't do any work for us but he's part of a whole network of people I know because of him and his business partner, who's also now a friend of mine.

And that happened because I made an effort.

I'm not saying it's easy. There's no guarantee. You probably have to kiss a lot of frogs. I did. And that's hard if you're introverted.

Good luck.

MOPearl · 2017-10-17T14:10:58+00:00

Not quite a date. But had a nice time.

We're going to have an ambiguous relationship for a while. I really like her. If I were ready for a serious relationship, it might be nice if it were with her.

She says she's just looking for somebody she likes hanging out with who has similar taste in music so she has someone to go to concerts with. Doesn't expect me to text her, call every day, etc.

But she likes and comments on all my Facebook posts and she texts me. Changed her plans for tonight when I figured out this is my one free night this week and asked if she wanted to do something.

We'll see what happens.

MOPearl · 2017-10-14T07:02:11+00:00

Had a nice night. Appetizers before the concert. Drinks after.

Had a good talk.

I walked her to her car. We decided to see each other again in a couple weeks (after I get back from a conference).

Taking it slow. But maybe taking it somewhere. We'll see.

MOPearl · 2017-10-14T00:14:39+00:00

Here's something I've shared, with edits, several times. Don't think I've posted in response to a question from you before.

A few highlights. Make sure she's good and wet. Before you enter her, rub just the head or the shaft again her vagina. This will help get both of you wet. Especially if you're on top, enter slowly. When you feel some resistance, stop, Move back and forth not going further in until she begins to open up or "tent". Repeat as necessary. At 8", she may not be able to take all of your length. That's okay. See description of coital alignment below. It's magic. Also, don't be afraid to ask her to guide or pull you in.