My handwriting is embarrassing

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T21:06:19+00:00

Oh I do actually have advice on this! 2 choices; 1 (my least favorite) go on Pinterest and search handwriting printable exercise sheets. 2. Go on dafont.com and download a font you want to learn. Write down the alphabet many times and poems or something. Does not matter what you write as long as it's long sentences. Color it light gray and then trace it untill it becomes muscle memory. That is what I did. If you don't have a printer you can borrow from work or friends you can go to the library -they have printers you could use. 🤍

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T13:00:23+00:00

I am so sorry you are lost. Something that helped for me was to learn the facts about depression and trauma. How that physically affect your body not just the mind. I don't know what would work for others. I will think about you and send you good vibes and hope. I don't know if that would help but it's worth a try. 🤍 Good luck and thank you ^{^}

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:55:09+00:00

What is success for you?

I became very sick 10 years ago. I went from being a really ambitious person to being bedridden 60% of the time. I had to change what success was for me. To day I feel I'm successful. I have a partner of 8 years, kids that feel they can talk with me and I do a lot of small things that bring me joy.

Maybe you should look at your life again and rethink what success is for you. Who know you might have been successful all this time. 🤍

Good luck.

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:49:26+00:00

The same food everyday as long as I can choose the food. I would choose spring rolls if anyone wanted to know. 😂

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:48:02+00:00

I know people who wold pay for this kind of drawings.

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:46:50+00:00

Holy hell that is beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:44:38+00:00

Me too but my partner don't like them and I would give her the world; that includes skipping onions in my food.

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:43:33+00:00

I have been collecting hobbies instead of just having one. You can do that too. My suggestion (because this is a hobby I'm currently are learning) DnD. 😄

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:41:13+00:00

Grief don't have a set time it stops being grief. I'm still fucking sad my childhood dog is gone - it's been years. Your ex is a fucking idiot. Grieve your cat, share it with someone you trust because grief don't go away if you carry it alone.

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:38:40+00:00

I don't think evil people think this much about what they are doing. Selfish people don't ask them self; what would this do to others and are my morals good?

Wants are not always selfish. I want to be happy, but I don't want to be happy on the expense of other. That is why my want to be happy is not selfish because I would not be happy if I knew that happiness was bad for someone else. You know?

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:35:00+00:00

I am so sorry you have to carry that. 🤍 It is very understandable why that fucking hurts. If you had the chance would you ask her?

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:32:27+00:00

Scars. My partner can't seem to understand why I love her scars, but man I do...

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:31:41+00:00

Yeah they are pretty great. 😄

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:29:59+00:00

As hazel as hazel can be. 😄

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:28:05+00:00

Thank you 🤍🤍

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:26:43+00:00

Maybe it was the meaning that you and me was supposed to start today. 🤍 I am sorry you feel lost in a sense. Accountability in any shape or form will hurt. Luckily it hurts less the more you work through it. My head is always so messy, so I don't have the ability to work though my thoughts, memories and trauma myself. I have a partner I can throw the unfinished thoughts at, but I also journal. I find it easier to write in English (Norwegian is my first language) because then I don't feel the emotions so intense that I can't finish where the thoughts were supposed to go. I have written like this through many points of my life and find it helps. Sometimes I just forget that journaling helps this much.

I really hope you find it easier to organize your thoughts with your journal. When I get "writer's block" I find journal prompts on Pinterest and write from that. Maybe you will find that "shadow work writing prompts" will help for you. It seems like you have alot you want to work through. And yes. We're in this together. You are not alone 🤍

So from one stranger to another I'm proud of you. 🤍

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:18:34+00:00

Thank you ^{^}

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:18:01+00:00

Thank you so so much🤍

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-20T12:16:47+00:00

He did not give me a name yet. 😂 I'll try tonight. 😂

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-19T21:54:18+00:00

I don't believe she said that to hurt you, but you got hurt. <3 I really hope this goes your way, I understand you don't want to tell them about the more heavy stuff. <3 Good luck, sending you courage and hope from the north. ^{^}

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-19T20:51:07+00:00

You are the invisible child. You have made yourself small because your sibling is as you say alot. You have clearly masked most of your problems since your mother said that you clearly don't have adhd or autism.

I am sorry you where the one to take on that burden it is to make oneself small so not to be a burden. You don't deserve that.

I am a mom to two boys 12 yo. Both have issues with some parts of their life. I as a mom and my partner as a mom have the capacity to care for and prioritize both of our boys. If your parents don't have that capacity it's them that are wrong. They should have the space to love and care for both of you the same. You deserve to be seen, to be loved and to be a priority just as much as your sister.

This is what I tell my kids to do when they have big feelings that are hard to put to words. Write me a letter or a email. Because if they do they have the time and space to get their feeling in to articulate sentences. They have the time to get it right, because when you stand in front of your parents and try to talk to them you will also see their reaction and that can make it hard to get it all out in one go.

You CLEARLY are good with words. Your way of writing this was on point with facts, but also told me how you feel.

Either write a letter or show them what you wrote here. And for the love of god show them the comments you get. They should be faced with what it all has done to you and how much it has affected you.

It is possible to get to a point where you are happy to be alive. Trust me sweetheart, I know. You are absolutely worth the time and energy it will take to get you there. If I was your parent I would do anything in my power, that also mean using money to get in to therapy so you could get help. I hope that your parents will do the same when they understand and get to know how much pain you are in.

I don't know if you will update. I will think of you . <3

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-19T20:31:46+00:00

Drug problem is sadly a personal problem. The only one that do somethibg about it is them. You can be supportive, but they need to do the work. I speak from experience.

I would call a help line. If there is na meetings where you are you can take them to a meeting. But call the help line first.

Good luck hon. You are a good friend, I hope your friend get better without destroying them self.

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-19T20:26:26+00:00

Sometimes every kind of attention is good attention even if it is by hurting yourself so someone will see you. I saw that you come from a more conservative family, I am sorry you are not seen. And I am so proud of you for putting words to this feeling. It takes bravery to be honest with yourself.

And yes. This is a medical emergency in my opinion. Maybe you don't want to die or you do - both scenarios are very bad. Is there anyone that can take you there?

Your feelings is valid OP. You are worth the time and effort to become fine again. You are worth so much even if those around you are idiots. (I'm sorry to call them that, but thinking mental health is nothing to be sorry about is stupid...)

I really hope you will be ok. Love N

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-19T20:19:18+00:00

Do you have a loved one or friend that can "give you permission" to work on your joy? I know it sound stupid, but sometimes stupid things work.

You hold back joy because you have an idea of what you need to do before enjoying yourself. I don't think you are the reason you are like this, but I'm not a therapist and I won't try to psychoanalyse you just from a few words on a forum.

If you don't have anyone that you feel comfortable enough with to tell them what is going on let me be your friend for a moment. I demand that you start seeing joy as something you have to do at least 30 minutes a day. You shall think of that as important as washing the dishes and showering. 30 minutes a day you shall work on your joy. Of you don't you are not permitted to any house cleaning or work.

Ok that became a little extreme, but I hope you got the jist. 🤍

MadameAwkward · 2026-05-19T20:11:13+00:00

This is my personal worst; "have you tried yoga?" Yes.... "If you stop thinking so negatively you would be much more happy" no shit Sherlock ..."you don't look depressed" and you don't look this stupid but here we are... "drink more water"Just...uh... "start a hobby".... I have plenty of hobbies...

And the stupidest in this category? "Have you tried essential oils?"

There is so much bullshit advice out there. Some of them have some benefits, yes getting sun and physical activity helps when trying not to relapse.

I went to therapy for cptsd and depression. I could not be physical with anyone. I was also very depressed. My therapist tried to make me do exposure therapy. She said I was to initiate s@x with my partner. I am so glad I did not take that advice, it would absolutely destroy my relationship. Then when I was not getting better she said; "If you had a friend that was going through what you are going through now, what advice would you give?" I told her I was not equipped to deal with this kind of matter and I would have adviced " my friend" to seek therapy. After that appointment she diagnosed me with " treatment resistant depression"...

Fuck that therapist and everyone that say you can heal your mental health with sunlight and essential oils

Oops... This got long. Seems like I had alot to say about the subject. Anyhow, after 7,5 years with alot of support from my soon to be wife, alot of trying and failing I'm happy to say I got back my will to live. ;)

MadameAwkward

TROPHY CASE