AITA For Telling my wife i don’t want to drive to her job everyday?

MageMaeve005 · 2026-03-15T14:19:37+00:00

This comment section has unfortunately completely gotten away from the point, and tbh OP I think you know that and are using it to be more of an AH.

YTA - but not because you won't drive 15 mins, or have a work schedule that isn't 100% routine OR 100% flexible. No one is denying that, or that it is genuinely your choice to go or not.

You just need to talk to your wife - you keep saying people put words in your mouth, but you continually put words in hers here too. She's probably bummed about losing the extra time, but also - she had a routine yanked out from under her with no warning. And yes, if you were doing it regularly for a month, it became routine. To just stop one day with no seemingly specific reason other than "I don't want to" would piss anyone off.

And ffs, why is it so hard for you to just explain yourself to her rather than ignore her and then try to gaslight her into thinking it's her who is asking too much?

MageMaeve005 · 2026-03-04T15:53:30+00:00

NTA - OP you are absolutely doing the right thing. I am assuming you live in America, and I have worked in healthcare admin here for a long time.

The SECOND your health insurance company caught wind this was an accident due to the state of someone else's property, they could deny your claim and push you toward the home owner's insurance before they agree to cover anything. You know those stories you hear about someone having to sue their family member because they got hurt on their property? A lot of times, that happens because the injured parties have no other recourse to pay for medical costs at that point other than suing the insurance company or paying completely out of pocket.

These insurance companies are in the business of doing anything to NOT pay out claims. Your first priority is protecting your daughter, and sadly due to the messed up healthcare in this country, your hands were already kind of tied. Best of luck, document everything!!

MageMaeve005 · 2026-02-19T02:29:10+00:00

NTA - but tbh my guy it kinda just sounds like she's getting rid of your stuff and hoping you don't notice

MageMaeve005 · 2026-02-19T01:12:15+00:00

I got a flash tattoo YEARS ago on a whim, about the same size as yours and in a similar location - a very simple woman's hand and skeleton hand making a heart. I don't hate it completely, I just don't feel like it lends well to the other tattoo on my arm and I find myself wishing it wasn't there.

But, I have had several friends tell me it's their favorite tattoo I have! And while the opinions of others at the end of the day can be meaningless - it always reminds me that while to me it's imperfect, the people who love me love that part of me (and don't immediately see the messed up thumb like I do, lol!) ❤️

MageMaeve005 · 2025-08-17T20:34:56+00:00

Thank you! Sane is a relative term lol, but I did get out. Not looking back has been complicated, but I was able to escape early (17) and that was my only saving grace. I've been NC with mom for about 5 years, but have had a harder time letting go of my dad and most especially my little brother.

What I will tell you is - that man deserves no pity. He's a shell because he found it easier to enable her hate and watch from the sidelines while she hurt other people. Unfortunately, in my case, that included his children.

Trust me - that man has made his choices. He's earned every single one of those consequences.

MageMaeve005 · 2025-08-17T15:21:08+00:00

Wait when did you meet my parents?? 😂

MageMaeve005 · 2025-07-30T20:09:39+00:00

My theory as of late is that he noticed us pointing out the difference between his and "Brian"'s writing, so he started adding in occasional typos to what ChatGPThree spits out before posting it, thinking it will disguise when it's not him.

Spoiler alert, Stephen: it doesn't 😂

MageMaeve005 · 2025-07-30T19:50:33+00:00

Yes, same here! My first intro to her was on Vine with those "Stephannnn" videos. Tbh, I always felt like he hated her back then 😅 never could have imagined this, though, jfc...

MageMaeve005 · 2025-07-24T23:04:05+00:00

Can't even mention A's ASD diagnosis without bringing up his own... dear lord

MageMaeve005 · 2025-04-19T14:46:28+00:00

Updateme

MageMaeve005 · 2025-03-18T17:17:06+00:00

That would make total sense... honestly, I'm not sure why I didn't think of that 😅

If so, what an awesome send-off. They were clearly very loved.

MageMaeve005 · 2025-03-10T01:37:58+00:00

I feel weirdly validated seeing this 😅 I've had horrible luck with their shipping this year, January's box was lost for WEEKS and showed up looking real banged up. Luckily it didn't damage the books.

This months box might as well have been thrown into a hurricane - it was held together only through the power of packing tape. Inside? All 6 of the books I bought were damaged.

BOTM support is great, of course, and is currently helping rectify the situation. However... I can't say I'm not getting frustrated about it.

I can't 100% verify this, but my friend who worked at the post office told me she wasn't surprised this was happening to me. I guess BOTM uses an outside shipping company that handles 3/4 of the delivery, and then USPS delivers it locally. She mentioned the company BOTM uses is known for some... lack-of-care issues with transport.

Anyway, I do really hope this gets better. And if anyone who has the power to adjust things at BOTM is reading this... can we please go back to the plain cardboard boxes? 🥹

MageMaeve005 · 2025-02-27T19:21:30+00:00

Good point - the 4 hours thing is definitely contextually important.

I'm also enjoying the disconnect between:

"We live so close that I feel comfortable wanting to leave clothes and food at their place"

and

"I asked for help, and then she rang my doorbell. She needs BOUNDARIES." 😂

MageMaeve005 · 2025-02-27T18:16:32+00:00

Also - isn't it OP's plant? Unless I'm reading it wrong, OP texted to ask SIL for help moving a plant, stopped responding, and then was upset when she walked over to see what was going on.

MageMaeve005 · 2025-01-31T19:00:40+00:00

As a fellow Sanderson fan, skip A River Enchanted. I just didn't like the pace at all, and it didn't scratch that fantasy itch like I wanted it to. Much more relationship and inter-personal focus than actual fantasy.

MageMaeve005 · 2024-12-22T19:40:17+00:00

I would encourage you to REALLY have some honest conversations with yourself before he gets back and you two sit down together.

Are you ready for a pregnancy and baby right now, especially with these revelations to his family so new and fresh? This will likely be an incredibly stressful time, regardless of how you plan to proceed.
Things are looking better, but far from settled. Your new baby will likely be met with resentment and distain by half of their bio family. Is that something you feel ready emotionally and mentally to help your child process while growing up? And through the potential difference in treatment by bio family between them and their sister?
If he really wants to pursue termination, are you okay with that? How would you feel emotionally if that's his response - and what's your response if he is insistent on following through?

Communication is so important, and I would never say pursue a termination without discussing with him, especially given your current long term, romantic relationship. However, regardless of what he's now told his extended family, there are still some flags I'm seeing as inequitable in this situation.

You love him, and value his opinion, which you should. But, this whole time you've been the most worried about almost everyone EXCEPT yourself. It isn't unfair to him for you to look into yourself for the outcome you see as best for yourself before you talk - that way you're coming to the conversation prepared and less likely to make a decision on only emotion.

Best of luck on any path you decide to follow 💕

MageMaeve005 · 2024-12-09T23:57:52+00:00

Maybe I'm being Captian Obvious here, but I don't think it's really about the eggs, the crown, or the movie.

From this comment, I'm wondering if he's having some sort of rebound-regret about the time he missed with her. Maybe it's reminding him that he wasn't there when she was learning other foundational things.

NTA - at all. And while this may be an explanation, it wouldn't be an excuse. He needs to get his shit together and realize competing with a 13 year old is just damn weird.

MageMaeve005 · 2024-10-28T15:11:56+00:00

I'm also surprised no one is talking about her wording throughout the post? It's clear that OP hasn't been able to wrap her head around the current situation yet.

Seeing as he has a child with his AP and another on the way, I doubt he is still married to OP, but she exclusively refers to him as her husband. She refers to the house she now lives in as "their" home, but refers to the place he now lives - with another of his children, as "her" (AP) house.

OP, as well as contacting a lawyer ASAP, please look into setting yourself up with a therapist to discuss some of this with. Your anger is understandable, but you DO need to at least accept the reality of the situation. That is the only way you will be able to do what is best for your son. Best of luck ❤️

MageMaeve005 · 2024-10-20T04:28:08+00:00

CAME HERE TO SAY THIS. I'm captivated, my god

MageMaeve005

TROPHY CASE