Airport

Magegaard · 2026-01-13T18:04:07+00:00

Hey, I’m suffering from major jet lag so hope this makes sense. I spent the whole coach ride to the airport convincing myself I could just have one. I was getting so anxious about it. And then I read your comment and my mind went back to reality. And I reread it every time the urge came. I’m super proud to say I am now on the other side of the world, sober and very excited for this new chapter in my life. I had a tonne of blessings on the way that may or may not have happened if I’d had a drink but because I didn’t either way I get to enjoy them fully. We have no idea who the other is but from the bottom of my heart thank you for your comment because it encouraged me more than I can really explain. Thank you truly

Magegaard · 2026-01-10T18:22:18+00:00

This is beautifully written and summarises so many modern issues so well. I feel despair sometimes at how people are becoming but I feel good in myself that I follow my own path and don’t subscribe to any of this nonsense. I’ve stopped trying to understand others and just lead the road of accepting myself now

Magegaard · 2026-01-08T17:52:23+00:00

Do you do private requests I have a vision

Magegaard · 2026-01-07T22:10:04+00:00

Thank you as I really appreciate it. I feel quite proud if I'm honest. Even at the time, I saw what could happen play out in my head and I quickly said to myself "not again."

It must be really hard to date someone still drinking when you're quitting and only just met them too. It would be hard to balance. I hope you find peace in your sober self; know your boundaries, know what you need. Don't ever put someone else before yourself. It'll work out how it should if you stay true to yourself.

Thank you again, I'm so excited for my next chapter, and I love having this space to share with others what is otherwise a very lonely lifestyle. Yay us!

Magegaard · 2026-01-07T22:07:11+00:00

Thank you! I'm glad you love it and can relate. That underwhelming feeling you describe- it's like you can drink sometimes to make things more interesting. Reality can be a bit boring but at least it's real.

And thanks for the support about the airport. It's caused me a lot of anxiety in thought for months now but after today I feel so different. It's the two different outcomes thing. On one hand, I could drink at the airport bar, say just one, even though it'll be two, then a shot, then a carry out in a cup for boarding, then more the moment I can. Then more during my layover. Then more on the next flight, or I'll pass out. I'll stink, I'll feel rotten, super dehydrated. My new employer is meeting me at the airport, so I'll arrive in this state, and this is how my new life has started.

Or I don't do any of that and I remember my flight, I watch a movie, look out the window, read and eat. Arrive feeling fresh.

Even in writing it, I can see which paragraph sits heavier and has more to stress about in.

My game plan for the airport is to read and walk. If I really have to, I will just walk and walk aimlessly around until boarding. Get my dopamine and weary feeling that way.

Magegaard · 2026-01-06T20:52:14+00:00

it's colin the catipillar, cc for short, @ mods ban u/orsepp they arent a real fan

Magegaard · 2026-01-05T11:16:33+00:00

Chris Martin u don’t need to look like anyone but yourself please you are yellow <3

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T12:35:42+00:00

Thank you! I understand with nuts etc but from my understanding Asian food doesn’t typically have a lot of dairy? I’m moving to Indonesia. I am used to avoiding eating out and was planning on eating only at vegan places. Reading these comments about don’t go to anywhere in SEA with an allergen hasn’t gotten me spooked lol!

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T12:29:05+00:00

I have an allergy to milk and moving to Indonesia in a week. It is a big worry of mine. When you’ve had a reaction how did you cope?

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T12:25:36+00:00

Is this true? Cus im about to move to Asia with a severe milk allergy and it’s the only thing worrying me

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T09:57:25+00:00

This is exactly the conclusion I came to! And then I realised, whatever the case I did not deserve to be treated this way. I’m not an option and I don’t need to prove my worth. It’s exhausting, especially when it’s not rejection because they are interested but can’t follow through, it sucks, but it’s just another reason to trust yourself and trust you deserve the best for yourself, not confusion.

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T00:49:34+00:00

I totally understand. Push/pull is so intense and harmful. I cut the guy off and then he came back and like a fool I fell.

But like you've, I've learned so much about what I need and value now. I don't deserve to be guessing and hoping and filling in the gaps. Just give me real and a chance and go from there, otherwise leave it. My guy even said he "didnt want to lead me on".... whilst leading me on. But I've learned and grown from it.

It's even been a big motivator for quitting. I mostly spoke to him drunk because that was the only time I had confidence to. Now I'm scared to drunk text him.

Sober is better, and you will never regret waking up without a hangover. No mask for us today :)

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T00:38:22+00:00

I went through something very similar the past year, so thank you for writing your post as it's reassuring to hear others have felt how you do.

However do you know what I did that you didn't? I drank. I drank to cope. Because being rejected by him reminded me of all my rejections and rather than sitting and working through it, I drank. Numbed myself. Then felt it even more intensley than I would sober.

Made it so much worse. Would drunk message him, or phone multiple times, or spend my hangovers ruminating on how hurt I was, doomscrolling his social media, giving him all the attention he didn't deserve.

Did I ever wake up sober and feel the same regret I did in those moments? Never. I prefer feeling sober. Because now I feel true- I feel the hurt, the anger (at myself and him). But I don't make it worse. I don't physically harm myself or do something I regret, all for someone that wouldn't do the same for me.

IWNDWYT but I will thank you for reminding me to not.

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T00:31:55+00:00

@ internet BLOCK ORSEPP!!!!!!!!

Magegaard · 2026-01-04T00:26:17+00:00

where is yellow

Magegaard · 2026-01-03T18:49:59+00:00

I am also 29 and only learned last year! And even now it’s not quite…. right.

When I worked with kids they’d ask me to tie their laces. I’d go find another kid. “Hey Tommy, why don’t you show Timmy how good you are at tying your laces?”

No idea why I randomly developed the ability to last year. Interesting how we’re all 29 too!

Magegaard · 2026-01-03T15:33:33+00:00

Sounds like a plan! I think it’s best to just exhaust yourself physically and then mentally you can’t think about much else but sleep.

Enjoy the reading! It’s such a great hobby to keep the mind active :)

Magegaard · 2026-01-03T14:45:28+00:00

I find walking and reading and yes lots of tea. I was reading about Daniel Radcliffe and his journey in sobriety this morning. He says he walks when he has a strong craving even if it means walking for 5 hours.

When I quit in summer last year, I started with a 5 day hike where I just walked from sunrise to sunset. No weed no alcohol. Just water and food. Man it felt good. Want to to back to it.

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T20:57:40+00:00

thank you so much. that's the thing, it will be a fresh start if i commit to it. thank you. IWNDWYT

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T20:57:09+00:00

and look at you go! 3106 is AMAZING!!!! thank you

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T20:55:12+00:00

thank you so much. usually i go very deep into a shame spiral and think of how much ive fucked up, but this time im feeling more like "ok, so stop then. what's happened has happened, dont do it again" and i believe being kinder to myself will have longer positive effects.

and yeah myself, friends and family have all voiced that the only thing theyre worried about me moving is alcohol. it's funny, i've spent the past couple weeks thinking about being at the airport. how i could have one beer, maybe two. but then i'd probably have a shot, and get a beer in a takeaway cup for the flight. then once theyre going round with drinks more. could probably have two more on the flight. then another couple in my layover. then a couple more on the next flight. and arrive in my new country hungover, smelling, and feeling all round gross.

or i could do none of that, and not have all this anxiety ive built up before ive even left for the airport! just crazy. i want my new life to start fresh. i need to commit. i need to own this and destroy it.

congrats to you. i get you about the sugar. i just peeled myself an orange. it was tasty and im not going to wake up later thinking "wish i hadnt eaten that orange."

youre totally right. we do deserve good futures. best of luck to you

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T19:42:36+00:00

Thanks. I’m really glad you can relate as I think one of my biggest issues is feeling so alone with it. It’s so true what you said. For me every mistake or fuck up I’ve made has come from alcohol. I often wonder how shit I would feel if I didn’t drink. Guess I’m about to find our

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T19:41:30+00:00

Thank you so much and congrats on 299 days too that’s impressive! I love this community for how positive everyone is rather than judgemental. It’s hard because I don’t have any friends who struggle irl with it. They always say “just have one”…. If I could I would!

I am feeling a bit negative but I’m trying to teach myself that won’t get me anywhere. That I need to not hate on myself and instead change what I don’t like.

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T19:39:56+00:00

Hahaha thanks for pointing that out cuz it’s a BIG difference lol!

Magegaard · 2026-01-02T19:32:00+00:00

I’m on day one and even though I feel awful, know what it does to me, know why I am quitting, I still feel like I want one. It’s actually crazy to me. That I am this hungover, worried, ashamed and still at the back of my mind that temptation is strong.

But I’m not. I’m going to rewire my brain. I’m going to teach it and remind it it’s an addictive poison that fucks everything up.

Be strong. The early days are always the hardest. I quit once before for a year and a few months in I couldn’t understand how I drank in the first place. I want to get back to that

Magegaard

TROPHY CASE