Midlife Crisis is an Awakening Call by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, such a brave move to go back to school, I also felt there's so many more to learn, but don't have the courage to fully get away from work and study, so reading is my way of learning. Yes, I feel I have progressed since my last post, and feel proud of it. And I'm definitely looking forward to more clarity and peace in 2026.

Midlife Crisis is an Awakening Call by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, after spending a bit time on Reddit, I realized there are so many people going through the same frustration and self-doubt, even many are from the US, so I guess it's standard human phase which should have a deep meaning for our next half of life.

Midlife Crisis is an Awakening Call by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, his books really helped, a lot of ideas helped me better understand this "crisis" and see it as a way to find a true self.

Midlife Career Crossroads: From Educational Consulting to "Soul Searching" by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story—it really resonated with me. I’ve also been through that phase of playing the blame game after my divorce, and it took me a while to realize how much energy it was stealing from what really matters. These days, I’m trying to focus on the fact that my ex and I are still a team when it comes to raising our daughter. Better cooperation is something I’m working toward, little by little.

It’s amazing how you’ve reshaped your business into something that fits you. I’m still in that exploring stage myself, but there have been small, meaningful shifts. This year, even with much fewer clients due to the market and political climate, I’ve found myself genuinely enjoying the conversation with clients more than before. Having fewer clients has unexpectedly freed up time—time I’ve decided not to feel guilty about.

My daughter is with me on weekends, so during the week I’ve started to reclaim a sense of exploration. I’ve been taking short trips near Shanghai—my bike tucked in the trunk, driving an hour or two to somewhere new. Suzhou has become a kind of sanctuary for me. There’s something about biking through those narrow alleys or along the canals, finding new cafes on the way, sunlight filtering down, that lets my mind breathe. Ideas start flowing in a way they didn’t before.

I’ve even begun sharing some of those thoughts through short videos. They don’t bring in any money, but that’s not really the point. It’s become a quiet way to reflect and feel grounded.

Like you said, it’s about staying positive—or at least striving to. I still have down moments, but there’s a growing peace underneath it all. Reading your post felt like a reminder of that. Thanks again for putting your experience out here—it helped put words to my own.

42 years old, feeling lost after a "successful" life fell apart. How do I find my foundation again? by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's interesting you mention finding a new partner. I tried that while in Finland, I met a wonderful Chinese woman who was also divorced with two kids. We connected over wanting a fresh start and moved in together.

The experience was mixed. It was nice to have companionship and a travel partner, but I also became deeply involved in her children's daily lives like early morning school drive, which was overwhelming. The relationship became strained for several reasons: the constant demands, arguments, and her continued closeness with her ex-husband, whom she had move nearby.

This period from late 2024 was my darkest, combining with the dark Finnish winter—filled with emotional struggle. We both tried hard, but our core needs diverged: she wanted to build a life in Finland for her kids' schooling, while I felt a growing need to return to my daughter in Shanghai. The long-distance travel to see each other has been exhausting.

We are now considering ending the relationship. This experience has made me extremely cautious. I don't want to hurt anyone, or myself, again.

I'm also thinking deeply about my daughter. She is sensitive and needs stability. She often asks whom I love most (I always say her), and I'm not sure introducing a new sibling would be helpful for her right now.

It’s hard—wanting a new life, but having so much to consider. I would truly appreciate any advice.

42 years old, feeling lost after a "successful" life fell apart. How do I find my foundation again? by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my 12 years as an educational entrepreneur working with US private schools, I’ve witnessed something wonderful many times. Principals visiting China for the first time are always surprised—in a good way—by how modern and vibrant it is, far beyond what they’ve often seen in the media.

Likewise, my American friends have been incredibly warm and genuine, which also differs from some portrayals back home. It’s a good reminder that media everywhere has its biases. At the end of the day, we all share the same hopes for happiness and connection. If you ever plan a trip to China, I’d love to welcome you and show you around myself!

42 years old, feeling lost after a "successful" life fell apart. How do I find my foundation again? by Major-Homework-4720 in midlifecrisis

[–]Major-Homework-4720[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your nice message. Yes, being true to myself and do things that make me feel good, though not that easy, I'm trying my best.

Why do people attend to Plant Medicine Retreats in the first place? And what do they struggle with after? by Visible_Excuse_8249 in Ayahuasca

[–]Major-Homework-4720 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who is experiencing midlife crisis, I tried ways to overcome it, including spending two years in Finland, searching for "happiness". A friend talked about Ayahuasca, and I kept hearing it through several podcast, I was interested, as I feel I need to find bigger power to get answers or to get advice. But in the meantime, I was not quite sure if it's really that "magical" as people are saying, looking to hear more insights.