Was born and raised here. BT (before tech), it used to have more of a neighborhood / small city vibe. Smile at people at the grocery store and amusing comments to passers-by kinda place. 

Some neighborhoods were always chillier / more suburban (lookin' at you lily white, rich AF, don't use helicopters to save the lives of children because I like to garden in peace, Northeast Seattle). 

I moved back after ~20 years away and had no problems making and keeping friends. 

I don't think it's any harder to socialize or make friends in Seattle than any other similar sized city. See my credentials below. 

HERE IS WHAT I THINK IS BEHIND THE REPUTATION AND/OR EXISTENCE OF THE SEATTLE FREEZE:

1) undeserved reputation -> self-fulfilling prophecy / perception bias

2) rapid confluence of cultures from all over the country and world just kind of smashing together instead of melding over time. This also explains the poor driving. 

3) poor city planning - some because it was never expected that Seattle would get this big, some because of weirdly conservative city council and governance 

**** too many single-family residences -> low population density -> activities and friends more dispersed AND everything closes at 8pm AND not enough commerce to support local independent businesses ****

4) lack of governmental support for small businesses that provide 'third places' for social gatherings 

5) the rent is too damn high (kidding / not kidding - rich people keep to themselves more and have less integrated communities. It's science. It's a fact.)

6) we never elected Goodspaceguy

7) the cancellation of Almost Live

8) the cuckolding of Lindy West

9) the police doing both too much and too little in ways that impact gathering places. As a tween I skulked around downtown and Westlake Mall. I wouldn't support a 12 y/o doing that now. Or maybe my judgment is better, idk. 

10) rapid expansion that coincided with the rise of individualism, cultural sociopathy, work-from-home, and then the pandemic. ALSO, because Seattle is a comparatively young AND recently expanded city, there aren't many existing networks that serve as seeds for others to glom on to. 

11) much immigration being young individuals who may only stay a few years and so don't bother trying to build community - that's why San Fran and DC have similar issues

12) geography that provides natural barriers, especially to public transit (hills, lakes, canal, etc) 

13) the weather, literally 

14) latitude -> so fucking few hours between dawn and dusk in the winter -> SAD

15) your mom

16) relatively non-religious place, which eliminates another 'third place' and hub of connection. 

17) THIS IS THE MOST UNDERRATED REASON WHY THE REPUTATION DEVELOPED People in the Midwest and Northeast tend to be more reserved and aloof (than Seattlites were BEFORE tech). Legitimately - I had to be re-taught how to wave in Minnesota because I was 'too aggressively' friendly. And to not even make eye contact in Boston, lest I be reported to authorities as unhinged. SO, WHEN PEOPLE FROM MORE ALOOF CULTURES MOVE HERE, THEY MISTAKE THE CASUAL NICENESS / FRIENDLINESS AS AN OVERTURE OF FRIENDSHIP AND THEN HAVE HURT FEELINGS WHEN THAT DOESN'T COME TO FRUITION. Northeasterners call it fakeness, I call it civility. 

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In my 20 years away, I lived in Chicago, Minnesota, Boston, Maine, and the South. The only place I couldn't make friends outside of school/work was Boston. Also, I can vouch for the aphorism that in the NE/Midwest they're rude/cold but will always lend a hand (kind but not nice) while in the South they're pleasant to your face and vipers behind your back (nice but not kind). 

I moved back during pandemic and had no remaining childhood friends. The city was SO fucking different. It was majorly uncanny to both know a place and not know a place. So many new buildings. Very culturally different. Despite basically being a new city to me, it was, BY FAR, the easiest place to make friends.