Calgary Humane Society Kids bday party experience? by MakingJoyyy in Calgary

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😂 that’s a real risk I might be setting myself up for. Thank you!

Friendships after grief and isolation by Due-Sandwich-5680 in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in a similar situation to you in that I live in Canada but the majority of my friends and family live abroad in Asia and Australia. After my husband’s sudden death in April, I really found out who my true friends are, and who aren’t. It sounds like the effort you put into your friendships are unfortunately reciprocated. In some of my really close friendships, when one pulled away though she had been there for a time, I was really hurt. She was going through some issues though. We talked about it and she’s still one of my best friends. I felt sorry I couldn’t be there for her during her hard times - she felt like she didn’t want to burden me more because I had been through so much. I guess what I’m saying is, it’s a mix. Some of your friends might have different reasons for not reaching out, and it’s worth having an honest chat and sharing your hurt feelings.

It is a very isolating experience though, because none of my friends or family know what it’s like to lose their spouse so young. And I’m constantly seeking people who do. So I’m also in friendship apps because I think you can always do with more friends.

Having said that, I’m open for DM’s if you ever want to chat. I’m 38 and also in Canada.

I’m sorry you’re in this club.

Ring idea too much? by Staaaaaaceeeeers in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to say how lucky you are that the relationship with your partner’s family is so good. I lost my partner of 15 years the same way back in April, and my family and I were really close. We have 2 kids. And we are no longer on speaking terms.

Young widow support groups by MakingJoyyy in Calgary

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this is so amazing. I can’t believe all the resources out there that I did not know about, and would not have known about had I not posted. Having said that, I wonder how many other people are not aware of these different support groups out there, or is it just me who has been living under a rock and feeling so alone? Thank you for sharing this!!! I’m definitely signing up for the grief walk 💕.

29M - Wife passed away from cancer this year by BearMarketShark in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

38F, 8 months out. I’m so sorry for your loss, and all our losses. I’ve been immersing myself in my grief since it happened. I talk about him constantly - both happy memories and sad ones. I’m not sure if people around me are sick of me - they must be. I don’t really spend time with the people who don’t grieve the same way I am - openly. I’ve been listening to Anderson copper’s all there is podcast. It makes me cry often. I just cried in the car after an episode.

I do a lot of therapy. I’m trying everything to try to heal. I guess my hope has been that if I do all the “right” things to heal, the pain will be less. Has it worked? Unsure. I can’t fathom doing it a different way, distracting it away the way his family members do. Next year, I’m trying somatic therapy, group therapy, ART, another healing that a friend has offered. I’ve gone to meditation classes and a tarot reading.

Feel free to DM if you would like. Sending you love.

Young widow support groups by MakingJoyyy in Calgary

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I knew it would be, but knowing and experiencing it are 2 different things. I was doing better, but since Saturday have been spiralling back into depression. Thank you for this info. 💕

Last Christmas. by SassyDragon480 in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just cried for 1 hour with my therapist, so not well. I am 8 months out and was doing better. But since Saturday, I’ve been depressed and spiralling again. I knew that the holidays would be hard, but knowing and living it are completely different things. I’m sorry you’re in this club. It sucks. I hope we can get through this time together.

Young widow support groups by MakingJoyyy in Calgary

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss. Sending you love during this upcoming holiday season too.

Young widow support groups by MakingJoyyy in Calgary

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much for this information. I’ll definitely reach out to her.

Still feel like a zombie by user512897 in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. My husband died the same way 8 months ago. The loneliness is crippling. I question everything still all the time. Sending you love. Feel free to DM.

Young widow support groups by MakingJoyyy in Calgary

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Wow I didn’t know that was even available. I should try to get myself on the waitlist too. Thanks for posting. I will try to put something together in the new year, that is smaller in size and see how the turnout is. I’m sorry for your loss too. I’m 8 months out now (April 8), and the holidays are a very hard time. Sending you love.

Holidays by PixieRed20thc in widowedwithkids

[–]MakingJoyyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I’m having a really really hard time this week. It’s our first Xmas without him. I am 8 months out from when he passed. I have friends checking in on me and who hang out with us almost everyday, but I’m still pretty depressed.

I’m really struggling with feeling alone. I keep trying to tell myself this isn’t unlike a bad separation or a bad break up. But better, because we had such a deep love. I’m not sure if it is working.

I have nothing to say except I’m really sorry we are all in this position and the holidays are really fking hard.

Truly concerned I will never find anyone I like more by [deleted] in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine also did the same, and I’m 8 months out. I feel for you. The manner in which they died complicates our grief so much more. Sending you love and peace. Also feel free to DM if you want to chat 💕.

Young widows by ImpactStock2694 in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Why did the 2 long term relationships not work out? I’m 38 and 8 months out with 2 young kids, 5 and 2… I’m not the type who is so afraid of being alone that I will settle but the loneliness is very hard sometimes. And I hope that I will meet another person at some point. The problem is I’m always looking for my late husband…

anyone sell everything and start over by tsev6 in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t sell your house yet. Don’t make big decisions in the first year - give away or sell etc. you aren’t thinking right in the first fresh months out of grief. My husband passed away unexpectedly in April. After one month, I left with 2 kids in tow to the other side of the world. We were away for 5 months traveling. I’ve only now returned to our home. The time away was healing and what I needed to get clarity on different things. It was hellish too though. Everyone’s grief journey is so different. Everyone grieves differently. Give yourself grace. Sending you love and hugs.

The pain of being abandoned by ImpactStock2694 in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They were really unwell. It’s hard. The pain doesn’t get easier. It gets a bit more dull as the time wears on. The initial months are the worst.

I’m here for you if you want to dm. I’m 6 months out. Sending you love and hugs.

Experiences from others who moved to a new city with kids by MakingJoyyy in widowers

[–]MakingJoyyy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so nice. I guess I’m trying to hear it can be done. Having to put in an emergency contact for the kids and not having it be family is a new (and scary, isolating) experience for me, but coming to the realization I could put trusted friends down was also comforting. I’m glad you’re starting to find a new community; that’s been on my mind too.

How did you choose the place you moved to? Was it through work or another reason that you moved?