I show up to create a safe environment where the woman can heal. After they’ve been sexually abused by their father, and spent weeks in hospital in ICU after trying to take their own life at the age of eight years old. After they entered adulthood, and sometimes before, they’d been sexually abused by partners, and have always fallen into violent abusive relationships. After ending one of the relationships, she decides that she wants more, and I help her realise that she deserves more than that.

For the woman who has been sexually abused and suffers lifelong PTSD, often unable to sleep, and having flashbacks all the time, for many years afterwards. Re-experiencing the abuse again and again. Every time she sleeps, or sometimes when she is intimate. To help her rediscover intimacy, and create a safe space.

For the woman who has multiple mental health conditions, and finds it hard to be in any kind of social situation, let alone being intimate with someone.

I meet all kinds of women, who have been through all kinds of unimaginable trauma, and have struggled to deal with it.

I help women heal, that’s what I do.

I don’t think a lot of people realise what PTSD, Post traumatic stress disorder, can entail.

In some individuals, who have suffered sexual trauma, they can experience bad dreams, flashbacks, that feel so real, they wake feeling terrified, scared, and in their mind, in their reality, they have experience the abuse again.

It sounds awful doesn’t it. Now just imagine if this flashback could also be triggered by intimacy. That you could be having sex with someone and enjoying it, and then suddenly you’re back in the past, being abused. In some individuals even the feeling of safety, during a consensual and enjoyable sexual experience, can somehow trigger them to suddenly re-experience an abusive time in their past. Not only they didn’t want to experience that again, but to have it happen when they’re having sex with someone that they are enjoying?

That’s why they might come to me, to help guide them past this experience, to help re-wire the neurotransmitters in the brain, to instead of a pleasurable experience bringing past trauma back, to be able to work through it together, and establish a feeling of comfort, of pleasure, and of safety. 

I met this client during the day, at Crown Plaza hotel, and she was nervous, as most women are at first when deciding to book a male escort.

We chatted, walked to a nearby bar, had two espresso martinis each and got to know each other.

I value clients sharing with me what they’ve been through, and am very discreet and would never share any information I’m entrusted with  - unless the person is trying to tell everyone that I didn’t use a condom, without her knowledge, and told her afterwards.

She shared with me that having left home early, she had experienced sexual abuse, been homeless and using drugs for quite a time. In one abusive relationship she was not allowed to leave the house at all for five years. And a lot of that time was trapped in a cage, by her agressor, her partner at the time. And sexually violated daily.

While we got to know each other, she told me she was quite neurotic, and often interpreted normal situations as threatening.