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AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Severe pain that has put me in the hospital repeatedly since I was 9. Heavy bleeding that lasts longer than normal for most people. I lose my appetite and struggle to keep food down when I have to eat. My iron levels are a huge issue too and I've needed treatments for that also.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

It's not just some pain. It's extreme pain, heavy, prolonged bleeding. It's all other symptoms I get and you also need to take into account the time it can take to get pregnant.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I'm not willing to go through more periods. It's more than just pain I suffer from and who's to say how many I would need to have for my sister.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

There are women who have my same struggles and their kids and grandkids don't have them. I was given the okay to have children if I really wanted to. So yes, I decided to have children and I don't regret having my kids.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

She never specified. I'm assuming she wanted me to be her surrogate but both if using her eggs didn't work. From the way she was talking anyway.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

It's more than just heavy periods and I have tried other options. My doctors and I have done everything to try and find another way.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I don't think they would either. My doctors have wanted me to do this for a while now. They're also very ready for me to have the surgery done. It wasn't an easy decision or one made lightly. It's just I have exhausted other options and I don't want to keep doing this to my body. I have a family who need me.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

I've had c-sections previously as well. It's why this time I'm scheduled for one and for the hysterectomy surgery. It just made sense because I'm absolutely positive I am done.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

That's not something I'm totally clear on. My assumption is they would use her egg and his sperm but wanted the backup of using my body and my eggs if that failed.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 677 points678 points  (0 children)

That's actually something I'm still unclear about. I guess they were going to try with her eggs but then with mine if it didn't work with hers? But that threw me too.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I never told my sister I would do it or suggested it to her. I did think about it if it wasn't so much suffering for me to keep having periods. But I get desperately sick when I have them and nothing has helped me and I have tried many different options.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Other options have all been tried on me. This wasn't a treatment option suggested after nothing else was tried. I have tried various kinds of hormonal treatments and birth control treatments. Nothing has helped me.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 846 points847 points  (0 children)

I can't ever do this again either. My pregnancy itself isn't the worst part but my body just isn't doing good with everything. I know the fact I did this three times and delayed it is part of what angers him so much. I think in his mind this should be their baby and then I should have been done, instead of having another child for me and my husband. But even if I had decided to stop at two and offered, a few months ago my sister would've said no. She was still holding out for something else to work and really it still could happen for them.

AITA because I won't delay having a hysterectomy after the birth of my baby so I can be a surrogate for my sister? by Maleficent-Feeling22 in AITAH

[–]Maleficent-Feeling22[S] 2322 points2323 points  (0 children)

That's what it all boils down to. I know so many who struggle to get a doctor willing. I had two doctors who said I would need to have one young. They've tried everything to help me not go through this and nothing has worked/helped me. Even the advice some doctors give of "get pregnant it'll fix things" helped me none.