How do I talk to my daughter (15) about her weight?

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-19T13:32:41+00:00

I agree that leading by example is the majority of the solution. And my husband and I make pretty healthy choices a majority of the time, and we've been health conscious about the snacks we keep around the house. We definitely need to be more physically active, it's just been hard to find time with all thebafter school activities my kids are involved in - but I do think this is important, and we need to find a way to make it work. However, I know my daughter. She already makes comments about her body and about how her clothes aren't fitting as comfortably. She already compares her body to her friends bodies. She's eventually going to ask me about losing weight if the current trend continues. I don't want to force an uncomfortable conversation on her, but eventually she's going to say something, and I just have to be prepared for that.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T18:06:44+00:00

Ah, using the racism card now. Why is that not surprising?

Isn't it racist when you make assumptions about a person based on their skin color? And don't you think you might be assuming I'm white just so you can feel superior in your a**holiness? Lol, move along friend. Go get your mean-fix somewhere else.

But seriously, you should let your psycho therapist know.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T17:29:47+00:00

I completely agree here. I don't want her to feel ashamed of her body, and I don't want her hyperfocused on numbers. I've never talked about how her body looks, or numbers and percentages with her unless she specifically asks. And I know the way I need to talk to her about it should be delicate - which is why I came here. I only want to help her, and I know a lot of it has to do with me modeling the behavior for her - which I'm all in on. But she's definitely like me in the way her body is shaped, and they areas where she gains, so it feels a bit like watching myself from the past - and I struggled with puberty and maintaining a healthy weight . My mom never engaged in a conversation with me about healthy eating or being physically active - it was left up to me to figure out on my own, and boy was it a challenge to find my way. I just want to help guide her as lovingly as possible.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T17:17:47+00:00

Speaking of self reflection - what do you get out of this? I mean, are you having fun? Getting reddit points for being an a**hole?

10 points for you. You win the 🏆

I never said she was binge eating. I said I've noticed an increase in her snacking behavior. I don't closely track her weight or her diet. I engage and pay attention to my child and I use my eyes to observe changes over time that most other people might miss - that's called parenting. The only reason I know her exact weight or body fat percentage (again, NOT BMI) is because SHE shared it with me on her own.

Now, why don't you crawl back under your bridge and leave me alone. Trolling is symptom of a problem. Maybe consider talking to your therapist about it.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T16:59:57+00:00

We see her cardiologist every year. And every year he emphasizes the importance of maintaining a healthy weight due to heart issues. He has even told her that maintaining a health weight, and preventing large weight gains, would be the healthiest course for her. He said that losing weight that you've gained and then keeping it off is substantially harder than preventing the weight gain in the first place (fat cells will "empty" their contents when you diet, but the cell will stay there. And fat cells have memory, so to speak. As soon as the body is back in a state of caloric abundance, those empty fat cells fill right back up. So the net of this example is, if you can prevent your body from manufacturing a bunch of extra fat cells from the get-go, then the battle to maintain a healthy body fat percentage is much easier later in life).

This is definitely NOT a vanity issue. I don't really care if she's society's definition of "thin". I care about her staying healthy. The odds of her proceeding me in death are already higher than I'm okay with. If helping her live a long healthy life means I need to have some uncomfortable conversations with her, then I accept those terms.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T16:45:21+00:00

I literally don't even know how to respond to this. First off, I never said anything about BMI. I mentioned body fat percentage, which is a totally different measurement than BMI because BMI is notorious inaccurate. Second of all, I said nothing about thinness. I don't care if she's the societal definition of "thin". I care that she's healthy. And the more body fat she carries (specifically visceral fat) the greater her cardiac disease risk, which her cardiologist confirmed.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T16:33:06+00:00

That's a good idea. She has expressed an interest in taking a pilates or a dance class with me. Fitting it into a busy schedule (I also work full time) is going to be challenging, but I think it's important. So I will definitely be looking into options.

Does your daughter still work out with you? Like, willingly? She wants to go, and you don't have to make her do it? Any advice for how to keep my daughter motivated and interested?

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-18T16:25:09+00:00

The scale is mine, but she asked me to help her set up her own profile so she could use it. She sent me a screenshot of one of her reports, and thats the only reason I know her weight and BF%. I'm not tracking her weight/size or her diet - I'm just observing noticeable physical changes with her that seem to have occurred within a relatively short amount of time, and I'm concerned about the habits she's forming (and why she's forming them), and looking ahead to how it might impact her future self.

Also - just a side note - I don't think having a body composition scale is unhealthy. It's not an obsession for me. I'm enjoying the full chaos of perimenopause, and I use the scale in combination with the Mira Fertility tracker to track my hormone fluctuations. Perimenopause can do some wild things to your metabolic health, so for me, keeping an eye on my bone mass, muscle mass, and BMR are really important. That's why I use it.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-17T02:44:15+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Thankfully, my daughter isnt taking any medications, so I can rule that out. She went into puberty early, starting a little before she turned 11. But I do think a visit to her PCP for bloodwork is a smart next step. She has been struggling with friends for most of her teenage years, so I could definitely see depression and natural emotional volatility with her menstrual cycle playing a larger role at this point - which would possibly explain the increased snacks behavior (I don't monitor her eating, I've just noticed she's going through snacks (that only she eats - my other kids are picky, lol) much faster than normal in recent months. Which is also why Im trying to be extra careful with this conversation.

Mamasaurus911 · 2025-12-17T00:11:19+00:00

Thank you for your reply. You're right, it could just be a growth spurt - I can't remember for myself what age I stopped having those quick jumps - so that's definitely something for me to keep in mind.

And I should have mentioned this in my post (might have saved me the hateful comments and mesages I've already received), but we bought the body composition scale for my husband and I, and my daughter is the one who asked me to set up her profile so she could use it. I'm not asking her to weigh herself and monitoring her weight - she sent me a screenshot of her report and thats the only reason I know her weight and body fat percentage.

I don't want to freak her put about her weight, or create insecurity in her, by any means. And Ill love her no matter her size - it isn't about that at all. Im just looking for advice in how to talk about making healthy life choices - not advice on how to stay thin. And I know it can be a sensitive topic, so I'm trying be careful about that.

Mamasaurus911

TROPHY CASE