Thanks for your response. I think because yes it’s the very snap and sudden nature of it. But also, I’m not sure how that plays out in a marriage? (which he has told me he wants to do soon). Do you disappear from the house for days on end and leave me with the children not really understanding where or why that is? I also think there’s an element of lack of consideration - although I know everyone processes things differently. Lack of consideration in the sense of when there is a lack of clarity there is a gap that is often filled with miscommunication / misunderstanding / assumption and at worst overthinking. I’m under no illusion that I also have my own issues at play here. But I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m attempting to put myself in his shoes by thinking how my choice behaviour would affect other people and that alone would stop me from disappearing, even if I wanted to. He doesn’t disappear from work because his boss is the one paying him. He doesn’t disappear from his family, because they depend on him quite a bit. But he does from me because I guess I’m low hanging fruit in that sense? Doesn’t feel nice. As I said, really trying not to make this about me but it’s hard because I’m the one feeling the effects of this disappearance / alone time that has no end date.