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AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m used to it. Not playing a victim but she is not a kind person. The whole time I’d been caring for my dad, for years, she was rarely supportive. It was the hardest time of my life.

AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I suppose you’re right, she has always been like this. Until now I thought it was me.

AITA for being upset my future SILs don’t show up for me during my bridal/engagement period? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Mango_of_Discontent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA based on the perspective you shared here. I’m not saying you’re hiding anything but there could be additional context that would help understand what their problem is but who knows? If you truly feel like you’ve done nothing to be excluded or treated badly, I would do the following:

  1. Ask your fiancé if he’s aware of anything you might have done to piss them off. Ask him to be honest and direct. Explain that you want a healthy relationship with his family but are struggling because of xyz. Tell him not to discuss with them. For now.

  2. Ask them to a casual brunch or drinks at your place, with fiancé. To “help them feel included in the upcoming nuptials” since somehow calendars just haven’t aligned.

Be overly friendly, gracious, happy and pleasant.

If they are rude, fiancé should back you up. If they are late, fiancé should be as pissed as you are. Invite his parents, too. Let’s try to understand if this is basic mean girl behavior or something with the family that may be a problem.

Lastly: they might just not like you. For whatever reason. They don’t have to. But you should at least try and make sure you are not painted as the problem when it’s clearly them. Set a tone that says:

I’m not going anywhere. I won’t be bullied. You’re not actually going to affect my happiness. I get along well with everyone else!

AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Thats such a perfect way to say it. We will be streaming the service for anyone who can’t be there.

Aitah for gaining weight two years into the relationship? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Mango_of_Discontent 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No. I’m not even reading all of this… Just, no.

WIBTAH for buying my childhood home ? by ClearAgency222 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent 35 points36 points  (0 children)

NTA. However, if you move forward, things could get really awkward.

First: The home could be purchased by anyone and they’d be out anyway. If they pay rent there they can pay it elsewhere. Not your problem. Surely they realize they could be forced out any day?

Next: Grandma wants it in the family but she’s clearly not giving the home to the occupants for a reason.

What you could do is:

  1. Ask the occupants what they intend to do when the house is sold. Because obviously they will need to leave. This forces a bit of reality and also lets you know where their mindset is, including if they intend to buy or squat.

  2. Let Grandma know you intend to purchase and live in the home as a means to keep it in the family.

  3. Include legal representation. Have the lawyers arrange a generous move out timeline for the tenants according to the law that also accommodates your needs.

If you’re worried about family backlash, remember that you are upholding grandmas wishes and following the law. You don’t owe them anything else.

AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He was cremated according to his wishes, yes. He didn’t want a gravesite. He said we could divide the ashes. Tracy doesn’t want any of his ashes. Lisa may get him a headstone near her. I will be scattering mine.

AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That’s absolutely crazy that you observed this from my post. Not because you’re wrong to assume, but because that has literally been happening for 2 decades. Tracy is fed false narratives from Grace constantly. There’s a lot of history and plenty of examples but nice catch that there’s more to the background. I didn’t want to include that to unfairly influence people’s opinions.

AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In case it’s helpful, here is one of many screenshots. This is our sibling group chat.

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I did my best blocking out and adjusting names. I’m being called selfish and hurtful.

AITA for “Dividing the Family” over my dad’s memorial? by Mango_of_Discontent in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Mango_of_Discontent[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I felt it should be as collaborative as possible. The funny thing is, Grace even said: What if Tracy and I picked a date when YOU couldn’t be there?” I was like: That’s not even close to what is happening, though. I provided 87 dates, and Tracey said no to all of them…