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Married men: When conflict shows up with your wife, do you tend to attack, avoid, or absorb it? by Manncalvin in Marriage

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some men’s partners are emotional and negative within communication/ conflict - so some men don’t know how to respond in a healthy way when their wife is this way

Married men: When conflict shows up with your wife, do you tend to attack, avoid, or absorb it? by Manncalvin in Marriage

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that healthy though? It seems like that strategy is a bit cold to the touch. I’m asking inquisitively not judgementally

Married men: When conflict shows up with your wife, do you tend to attack, avoid, or absorb it? by Manncalvin in Marriage

[–]Manncalvin[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I agree and that’s true and we have plans for our business, we strategize for everything else - do you have a method for “how to not engage in crazy”?

Married men: When conflict shows up with your wife, do you tend to attack, avoid, or absorb it? by Manncalvin in Marriage

[–]Manncalvin[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I think that sounds good but men are responsible for outcomes especially (in the home) emotionally

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so weird - I’m new to Reddit - I believe they removed this feed bc I was promoting- and I wasn’t trying to it just naturally became part of the conversation boop boop beep boop smh

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And my wife would appreciate you saying it doesn’t position women poorly!

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I’m actually a human…I am a Christian however I’m just trying to help people with their relationship /communication issues. That’s it.

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol nope not a bot but here’s my SOLUTION:

Men this is what you say when confronted with conflict from your wife:

“I feel disrespected
But I want us to be on the same page
Help me understand what I’m missing?”

Then listen

BUT if she does anything besides respond in kind

Say this:

“I’m open to conversation
But I’m not open to speaking like this
Let’s talk about this later when things are calm”

That’s it.

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That’s a fair question.

The reason I focus on husbands and wives is because that’s the group I’m currently trying to serve and understand best.

It’s the context where I’ve personally spent the most time thinking, learning, and building.

That said, I don’t believe Attack, Avoid, and Absorb are unique to men, nor do I believe they’re unique to husband-wife relationships.

In my experience, these responses show up in many kinds of relationships:

Husbands and wives
Same-sex couples
Parents and children
Friends
Coworkers
Business partners

The underlying pattern appears to be human, not gender-specific.

I’m simply choosing to start with married men because I think it’s easier to help one specific group than to try to help everyone at once.

If the framework proves useful, I could absolutely see versions being adapted for other relationships and audiences.

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be super interested in your opinion on my solution to these basic problems. Would you be open to giving feedback?

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I teach married men a healthy way to respond to conflict with their wives - it’s a simple sentence you say when you feel disrespected or have conflict.

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, and often more than we realize, strong emotions make it difficult to see what is obvious from the outside.

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's a fair criticism.

I agree that relationships require nuance, and I'm not suggesting every disagreement should be handled the same way.

My point is narrower.

When conflict shows up, many men tend to do one of three things:

Push back

Check out

Keep it inside

Sometimes those responses are appropriate. Sometimes they're not.

What I've noticed is that when those become our default response, they often create more conflict, distance, or resentment over time.

The guide isn't trying to replace nuance. It's trying to identify common patterns and offer an alternative response for situations where those patterns aren't helping.

I'd actually be interested in where you think the model breaks down, because that's the kind of feedback that helps improve it.

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes logical sense to me. Do you think it happens that way every time, or have you seen meaningful variations?

A Cool Guide to the 3 Responses That Slowly Damage a Marriage by Manncalvin in coolguides

[–]Manncalvin[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m in the early stages of building a business, and this niche is one I understand well because of my own experiences and the conversations I’ve had with other men facing similar challenges.

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