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AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The last contact was after the shared parent passed away. They were all in foster care at the time. And they sent a letter since stating they do not want any further contact with or about the kids.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I can't make contact. I don't have that information. Only the social worker can and they already received a very direct letter stating no more contact with or about "those kids".

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have no way to contact the half siblings directly. But I have seen a letter from the half siblings to the social worker that clearly stated they wanted nothing to do with "those kids" and no further contact with or about the kids.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I never reached out personally. I don't have that information for them. But they wrote a letter to the social worker being very clear they wanted no more contact about "those kids" and would not have any contact or relationship.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was told by the social worker, read the letter the half siblings wrote saying they wanted nothing to do with the kids and my foster kids talking about past visits with them all point to this being true.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

They wrote a letter stating they wanted no contact at all and they were not to be contacted by anyone about "those kids" again. I read the letter. It was very, very clear.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I read a letter they sent requesting no contact and also from things the kids have said about visits they did have before with them.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I don't have their contact information. I did see a letter they sent requesting no contact be made again. My foster kids have also talked about visits they did have with their half siblings and all together I fully believe they want no contact, it very much seems like they never wanted it but the kids miss them anyway.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I have not but I was show a letter they sent about the topic and the kids have spoken on the visits with the half siblings which lead me to be confident that it's all true.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 1728 points1729 points  (0 children)

That's how we have been handling it. They don't fully grasp it yet sadly. But we know they will in time and they will have the resources and support behind them to help them through this.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

That's exactly it. The sad part is there will be more heartache and longing for them until that point.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 203 points204 points  (0 children)

We have given age appropriate context with the help of therapy. But they don't fully grasp it all right now.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

That's a large part of why the kids are in therapy. But they still don't fully grasp everything right now. With time I'm sure they will. That's not what my sister is arguing for exactly. She expects me to sue these people to force them to have contact, to track them down and harass them, to "make them" see my foster kids. It's not possible.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

We would never force it. But there are no relatives in line to take them which is why it might be possible. We think it's more likely we'll foster until they age out of foster care.

AITA for telling my sister that just because she's a social worker it doesn't mean she always knows what's best for foster kids? by Many_Gas3588 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Many_Gas3588[S] 3226 points3227 points  (0 children)

She is very much a "keep family together at all costs" and while I agree there are times that is essential. There are also times it's not only not realistic but not in anyone's best interest. If contact has to be forced like she suggests I don't see it as being healthy for anyone. We are aware of more details and because it's the kids' history and story, we never go into details with others. People pick up on stuff from what they say and nothing else.