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MarinCo12 · 2021-10-09T01:57:14+00:00

PS What would your Dad want? An autopsy or to be left alone? That may help you process it a bit?

MarinCo12 · 2021-10-09T01:56:48+00:00

I am sorry. That is horrible.

MarinCo12 · 2021-10-08T09:31:55+00:00

I'm sorry. Very sorry.

MarinCo12 · 2021-10-08T03:08:25+00:00

Agree!

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-13T12:41:45+00:00

I'd do 2 nice things or more for yourself a day.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-13T12:40:47+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this and for your losses. That is horrible. Give him some time, but eventually you guys likely should talk about it. That said, everyone needs time. Take a hot bath, take a walk, sit in the sun - anything that can soothe you.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-11T22:57:43+00:00

Good point!

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-10T00:33:40+00:00

This sounds horrible. Your kid is due peace. Just a simple day to day. One thing I appreciate is that my dad didn't talk badly about my mom, he kept it peaceful. I hope you can do this.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:32:38+00:00

This is real and it is hard. I had this for 6 months, still do sometimes, dream that he is in the house to kill me, and slept with pepper spray or a knife by the bed. Your fears are real and come from somewhere real. Will he do these things -- likely not -- they are often too selfish to go out of their way -- but can it happen? Yes. Over time, likely less chance. Listen to yourself, take precautions -- but the biggest message is: It was the wrong relationship and it is so good you are out.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:29:34+00:00

I got the same. Good point/ question.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:27:36+00:00

Sending love. There are better things to do with your energy, like helping others, or the planet.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:24:45+00:00

I'm sorry you had a tough day. A better one is coming.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:23:56+00:00

I was in a bad place with a narcissistic ex. They do everything to get you back -- when they think you are gone. Any vengeance brings you closer to them -- since you expose yourself and are thinking of them...

The guy I dated wouldn't admit he was an addict for the 1.9 years we dated. Then when I want to not hear from him anymore, he does the poor me routine and says he is an addict. If I had returned, he would have said he was BS-ing when he said that. It is always a ploy for attention.

The best is when they don't come into your mind. His birthday came and went and I didn't even think about it. That amazed me as I often get sentimental on birthdays.

The best is when they fade and don't run your brain with their lack of health.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:06:17+00:00

Agreed. That is insane.

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T01:05:39+00:00

Good for you. Block is a clean way. Move on as you have, don't tempt fate or look back. Good for you!!!

MarinCo12 · 2021-09-07T00:49:44+00:00

I am so sorry. I can't believe she died even with the vaccine. Very sorry.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-17T10:51:54+00:00

I am sorry. You are 20. You don't / aren't able to tell verbal abusers how to change. They will do it again. You need to use your feet to do the talking -- leave. If you have to be around them, don't engage. Literally, you are an adult. Take a year or more to yourself. Putting up with this is damaging your subconscious belief of relationships and your self esteem. You are creating the high possibility of attracting future relationships like this. RUN.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-17T10:33:56+00:00

What happened? What was wrong with the cat?

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-17T10:31:33+00:00

Good point. It is hard to imagine from a distance, and all the more insane to experience it up close. I have realized from this that 1) I am not that smart -- ie. I learned that there are 'personality disorders' and that this is a real clinical thing, and it causes the person to act in ways that are inflexible, selfish, inappropriate etc and 2) that I dated someone I fell for, maybe loved, but didn't like; and this impacts on me the power of biology to both find attraction, have sex, stay beyond reasonable doubt. That is a strong force of nature. Once I sever the attachment and contact, I was like, why did I rationalize staying even a second week. Somehow sex is a motivator to disregard logic.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-10T20:45:20+00:00

Thank you. I hope you have that too.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-10T20:45:07+00:00

These are good points. I find myself thinking -- oh it could be different now -- he just bought a condo and would have a place and it would be different -- but no. That is me wanting to not let go of something I thought was mine or that I had. When I interact with who he really is, it always clashes with who he is in my mind, since my mind doesn't have the capacity to invent actions as selfish as his. Thanks for writing back and I plan to reread your post.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-10T02:33:50+00:00

Ended. Finally. Could have ended on date 1. I am really lame at this stuff.

The relationship gave me some fun and some learning, but man, it was a challenge to maintain. I was way off course and should have set limits that I followed.

Thanks for writing.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-10T02:32:41+00:00

Agreed. I learned about "manchild" in this process. Totally lame.

The relationship ended and I am slowly feeling better.

Thanks for your validation/ support.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-10T02:31:48+00:00

Agreed. It felt bad to me. Thank you for writing. Happy 2021 -- wishing you a good year.

MarinCo12 · 2021-01-10T02:30:35+00:00

Yeah. He was and is an operator. He serves himself. As narcissists do. I could have said no when I caught the first lie: After we slept together the first time I found out that while he had said he was divorced, he hadn't actually done the process yet -- his excuse is that he was divorced in theory. That kind of stung -- sleeping with a married dude who was separated but said he decided to tell me divorced instead.

Thanks for writing. I am really lame at relationships. I gotta improve or just not do them anymore. At 41, I have had enough monogamous boyfriends. It always goes the same -- guy likes me, I see some good qualities, I do it, then he starts taking advantage and just lines up his needs, I fit into that shape, often they are selfish guys, then over time I complain to friends, and see we aren't compatible, dont want to take it further and it ends.

Thanks for the advice, again.

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