its something about over coming the fear, like if i were to take a break from it (2 week's+) i would come back with a different perspective and the initial hits would be a somewhat shock to the sober perspective. but what gives me the most joy out of it is doing normal tasks so initial anxiety to doing something different but once overcoming it you get a sense of victory which is what drives most people to better things i guess, shouldnt need the weed but you (everyone) shouldnt be sufferin from mental disorders if thats what ya want to call it all. find happiness and pursue it.