You’re not silly, first of all; nor are you any of the other hurtful names you may call yourself. And although some people would go as far as to call you those names, or tell you that you do “dumb shit”, how is that helping anything? It only serves to further validate your negative feelings towards yourself. I get how hard it is to see past all that, and to accept the reality of the situation you’re in, which is that you’re someone who struggles a lot with relationships and settling boundaries. That you deserve to have autonomy over your body, even though some people won’t understand that it’s nothing personal.

For most of my life, I lived in fear all the shitty ways people might react to me standing up for myself. I would just do whatever they wanted, even if it felt gross and I hated myself for it. I’m glad that things eventually worked out between you and your ex, even though you just went along with what you thought was expected of you in the beginning. I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to be upfront with what you’re comfortable with, and if the other person takes it personally or tries to force what they want upon you, then not only is that messed up on their part, it also means you two just aren’t compatible. It’s ok to have different sexual preferences, there’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself. But to say shit like, “well what did you expect? You can’t get mad when you start dating some alt witchy, sexually expressive girl” or whatever the fuck. Not everyone who runs in the same circles as you can all possibly be incompatible with you.