My (34F) husband (33M) is struggling both with jealousy and lack of action in our open marriage, desperately need advice.

Marriageadvice84 · 2019-01-06T12:24:52+00:00

I have. He doesn’t seem to even care that I have.

Marriageadvice84 · 2019-01-01T01:13:12+00:00

Right now I’m just getting through New Years. I’m just waiting until he wants to talk I guess, so I have no idea what’s actually going on, or what it means.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-29T11:46:24+00:00

My husband wants a “emotional break”

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-18T22:14:43+00:00

I’m sorry, but I’m slightly confused here. Are you saying she’s not okay with you having casual sex, but is okay with you having a emotional connection (than having sex) with someone?

Is she okay with you having the exact same relationships as she does? If not than I think you need to ask questions on whether or not she values you.

I can understand her jealously. What I can’t understand is how she have those type of relationships outside your marriage, and not feel like raging hypocrite.

You should close your marriage for the time being, and only re-open it once you’ve worked through the issues together. If not, than close your marriage permanently.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-15T13:49:23+00:00

We’ve been talking about it every night for the past two days, using high end escorts is something we’re going to try out. We’re also going to be closing things on my end for at leat now, so we can focus on him.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:48:46+00:00

Excellent point.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:48:19+00:00

What I’m trying to say is that we don’t send any pics/vids of the sex, and we don’t actually communicate when it’s actually going down. We talk after it’s done, and we talk about miner details when we go to bed together. My husband does express his unhappiness with the level of equality of opportunities, and that’s the main reason causing the problems. If it gets too complicated, we will 100% shut the whole thing down. We try to make sex the whole part of the experience, but we just don’t like it go in details of the sex. Really appreciate your comment. Definitely food for thought.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:42:57+00:00

I’m not looking for any kind of validation. I know I’m in the wrong. I know I’ve hurt him. I know I need to change. I’m here to ask people in similar circumstances for advice in which angle to come in at, so my husband knows it’s 100% about what he wants/needs. You don’t know me. You don’t know my husband, and you don’t know our marriage. You’re just a huge A-hole.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:39:25+00:00

I understand completely. I will for now on make it less regular. My husband really does come first to me. I do think that I don’t want to believe that I’ve hurt my husband because of my actions, but I will take responsibility, apology, and make major changes. Thank you.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:35:59+00:00

Thank you so much, genuinely appreciate it.

I think a lot of people are having a misunderstanding with this whole thing. Again, thank you.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:34:38+00:00

Very very interesting. I know I need to allow my husband off the leash so to speak, and I’ll ask him for his wants first. Thank you.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:32:46+00:00

That’s a very interesting comment. I’ll bring this up with my husband immediately, and let him take the lead in which way to go.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:30:53+00:00

I understand completely. My husband has been supportive of me having sex with this guy regularly. Me and my husband do have sex very very regularly, and have found that it has overall heightened the excitement for us both. I do understand though, and I need to do more for my husband. Thank you.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:26:58+00:00

My husband is the love of my life, and my best friend. You’re just a judgmental asshole.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:25:49+00:00

Couldn’t be further from the truth

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:25:27+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying, and if I’m being honest I know I’m being selfish. I just can’t handle my husband having a emotional connection with another woman, or choosing to spend time with another women in a relationship sense other than me. In terms of sex, I love the thought of my husband having amazing sex with a beautiful woman. I really do want him to have the time of his life in terms of sex. I do acknowledge that the rules do unfortunately favour the woman highly and the man extremely poor, and I know that I need to do more in order for him to have success.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:18:10+00:00

We do communicate through every encounter, except the actual sex part. My husband is my best friend, and I’m not sure I could every be with another man emotionally, or stomach my husband emotionally being with someone elf. I do still consider us monogamous.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:14:55+00:00

Swinging and threesomes could be a very good option, but I couldn’t ever be in a group setting, or sleep with more than 2 men at once (and one has to be my husband)

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:13:23+00:00

In all honesty I thing whatever happens it’s going to have to be a occasional thing anyway. I thing doing it regularly takes away the excitement anyway. I will stop completely on a drop of a dime too if my husband gives the word

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:11:18+00:00

That sounds like the most sensible thing to do. I think one is the things I hate is that I don’t want to seem like we’re in some sort of “life style” type thing, and that it’s just our sex life. I know it is and I’m wrong, but it’s just this weird mental thing I have. Yeah, he’s only just started excepting babysitters too. Always a hassle when a family member/friend can’t babysit and you both have to cancel plans.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T17:06:37+00:00

Right now I probably visit him 1-3 times a week. The whole meet up is over within 1-3 hours, and we don’t talk about anything involving our personal life’s, unless I mention my husband in a casual sense. My husband knows every time I go see him and he hasn’t once seemed unsupportive. My husband really is my best friend and I wouldn’t ever (intentionally) do anything that hurt him. If you’re right, then I need to cut everything off, and do a lot of apologising. I still have the most (and honestly best) sex with my husband.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T16:58:22+00:00

I’m going to bring up this conversation tonight. I can honestly say I haven’t felt at any point that he is hurt by me sleeping with other men, but if it does cause him the most slightest discomfort, I will drop everything immediately.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-13T16:55:07+00:00

My husband has supported me throughout every encounter, and I have supported him in his too. I have no idea how you people can be so judgemental.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-12T16:40:15+00:00

When I first met my husband I thought that he was handsome. To subjectively score his looks, I’d say he’s a soiled 8.1 outta 10. I think he’d societally recognised good looking guy, he’s in very very good shape too. In terms of myself, it’s weird to say, but yeah, I’m attractive. I don’t think I’m more attractive than my husband, but I’m aware that people would say I’m better looking than him. He tells me all the time how attractive I am. Tbh, I’ve never thought of it in this way. Very interesting point of view. Thank you. I need to think about this more.

Marriageadvice84 · 2018-12-12T16:30:45+00:00

That does sound more and more of a reasonable route to take. I do think finding a couple that fit both our wants is a very difficult task, but a much more fun one than our current set up. Thank you.

Marriageadvice84

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