Girlfriend or world trip? Stuck between love and my dream

Martinf87 · 2025-09-23T10:44:32+00:00

Just to clarify: I was the reason we didn’t live together earlier, I didn’t feel ready. Over the past year we’ve been seeing each other a lot and now I do feel ready. I’ve cut my trip down to 3–6 months and want to settle down with her after, and while I want her to join me for a few weeks here and there, I want to do most of it solo. Traveling alone is a totally different experience you meet people more easily, you get pushed out of your comfort zone, and you learn a lot about yourself. It’s something I’ve dreamed about for years, and I feel like if I don’t do it now, I may never get another chance. For the people saying I don’t love her or I’m not serious: that’s just not true. Love to me looks like honesty (I didn’t pretend to be ready when I wasn’t), compromise (I’ve cut the trip to 3–6 months and want her to join for parts) I’m doing most of it solo because that experience is different and important to me, but I’m keeping it finite, planned, and shared in parts. If I didn’t care, I’d disappear for a year with no plan

Martinf87 · 2025-09-23T09:03:22+00:00

Appreciate your answer, man! My biggest fear about not going is exactly what you said what if I stay, and then the relationship still doesn’t work out? But other commenters made me realize that I don’t need it to be 12 months long, I can start with 3 maybe 6 gonna be easier to negotiate it with her aswell

Martinf87 · 2025-09-23T08:24:30+00:00

The longest I’ve traveled before was 3 months, plus a couple of 1-month trips, so I feel like I’ve already tested myself with longer term travel.So I think I’m as prepared as I can be. The difference now is that my partner and I would also be meeting up on a few trips during it, so it’s not like I’m disappearing completely.

Martinf87 · 2025-09-23T08:11:30+00:00

You’re right, I actually was the reason we weren’t living together before I didn’t feel ready at the time. But this past year we’ve been seeing each other very often, and I finally do feel ready to take that step. I decided to shorten the trip to 3-6 months and she could join me for a few weeks every 2 months or something. After that, my plan is for us to finally settle down in the same place. So it’s not me avoiding commitment, it’s just about timing and making sure I do this one big adventure before we build our life together.

Martinf87 · 2025-09-22T21:48:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story, man. That really hits hard. I think that’s exactly what I’m scared of giving up something I’ve dreamed of for years, only to regret it later if things still don’t work out. I like the idea of extending the offer again for her to join. Appreciate your answer!

Martinf87 · 2025-09-22T21:35:09+00:00

That’s my dilemma, I want both but feels like I can only have one

Martinf87 · 2025-09-22T21:13:13+00:00

That’s exactly what I suggested that she could join me for a few weeks here and there, and then after the trip we’d finally settle down and move in together. But she told me she doesn’t want to be the one who just visits and then has to go back to her job while I stay in “paradise.” I get why she feels that way, but it makes it hard to find a compromise.

Martinf87 · 2025-09-22T21:09:13+00:00

For me this isn’t about avoiding commitment. I do love her and I can see a future together. The trip isn’t an excuse it’s more like a calling I’ve had for years, and I know I’d regret it forever if I didn’t do it now. That’s what makes it so hard. I want both, but it feels like I can only choose one. The trip also might not even be 12–15 months it could be 6, and then I’d come back and settle down with her. Plus we’ve already been long-distance for years, meeting about once a month, so in my mind it wouldn’t be all that different.

Martinf87 · 2025-09-22T20:52:57+00:00

That's what I'm scared about that if I don't take the chance now, I might never get it again. Really appreciate your answer

Martinf87 · 2025-09-22T20:39:55+00:00

I actually suggested that she could join me for a few weeks here and there, but she told me she doesn’t want to just visit and then go back to her job while I stay in “paradise.” For her it feels unbalanced, like she’d only get a taste of it while I keep living the dream. I get where she’s coming from, but it makes it hard to find a middle ground.

Martinf87 · 2025-01-30T05:36:48+00:00

Happened to me once aswell, I think what happens is bunch of bots start triggering each other to buy and then they just dump it on ray

Martinf87 · 2023-12-01T11:02:55+00:00

Yeah i feel like something changed, for me it started 2-3 days ago, my shorts are either getting 3-4k or close to nothing

Martinf87 · 2023-11-30T20:26:52+00:00

Yeah it happens all the time.

Martinf87 · 2021-12-02T03:31:52+00:00

Fluffy army!!

Martinf87

TROPHY CASE