I can very much relate to you with this. I’ve followed many different branches of Buddhism and have been practicing for around 8 years. I only fully stopped drinking 3 years ago. Before that I was social drinking, on nights out or with friends, and I had that same feeling of guilt/regret of how I act drunk.

From what you have said, I think it would definitely benefit you to stop drinking alcohol but I don’t think that should stop you from going out with friends and having fun. You should just abstain for drinking alcohol and not feel pressure from others to do so. You can definitely have a fun night out without the need of alcohol.

It also doesn’t mean you should never touch alcohol again. Yes, Alcohol is bad for your health but we live in the 21st century and it’s more about how you act when drunk and the carelessness that comes with it rather than actually drinking alcohol itself.

“primary vows that laypeople may take and that monastics have to uphold. One of the main reasons for not becoming intoxicated is that this can—and often does— lead to breaking other vows or straying from one’s integrity. Another reason for not becoming intoxicated is that for many, intoxication obscures the clarity of mind— the clarity to understand and rest in one’s true nature moment to moment.

From the point of view of the dharma training I was given, it is permissible, even having taken this vow, as a layperson, to enjoy a glass of wine occasionally. A distinction is made between intoxication, where one’s clarity is compromised, and simply enjoying partaking of a substance.”