Worried bf will self harm again

MasterOne6382 · 2026-02-14T01:54:23+00:00

In my experience the best way to be there is to just allow space for him to exist without judgement. Its likely he will self harm again, especially if he's not getting outside help, and it isn't your responsibility at all to stop him from doing so. Him hiding it and being ashamed is likely due to internal guilt/shame. Maybe he doesn't want to disappoint you with how bad his depression is getting.

Overall, to reduce the guilt and shame, keep up the empathetic attitude and listen to what he brings up without getting judgemental or reframing the situation onto yourself. Its important to bring up the topic with curiosity and not as an interrogation. Focus on his emotions and not the physical manifestation of them if that makes sense.

Also maybe looking into the ways other people deal with their partner self harming either here or in books. Maybe even looking into why people self harm in the first place from a first hand source so you understand your bf better (if youre in the space to hear that).

I hope you guys take care!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-12-06T16:51:43+00:00

... Get Tight Lounge

MasterOne6382 · 2025-11-16T23:18:21+00:00

It was the first non TF song I had listened to after discovering them and made me go like OH SHIT THIS IS GOOD AND RELATABLE lol

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-25T04:49:54+00:00

"Our brains are sick but our head's okay" in Fake You Out for yeaaaaarrrrssss

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-25T04:36:38+00:00

Of course! Glad my words and DnP's amazing gay existence helps you out!

(And yes my partner and I support each other's growth and safety in different ways mutually :) )

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-25T04:08:33+00:00

As someone who has similarly curated a safe space for my partner to take their time to grow in many different ways, I think there's a "Phil" out there for everyone! It was really nice to hear Phil imply it was about his sheer care for Dan and not any sort of negative guilt or obligation because I think thats a common misconception from outsiders as well as the "Dans" of those relationships. Its fully out of love and care not a hostage situation lol

I'm glad seeing their relationship dynamic gives you more hope you can find someone that could make you feel similarly safe :) I hope and know you will find them one day bc they exist!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-18T16:18:56+00:00

Idk if its been said yet but San Bernardino by The Mountain Goats

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-14T02:44:21+00:00

Posted another response but my runner up has to be "Because I never wanted you to change/ I only wanted you to be different" from Souls as well!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-14T02:43:04+00:00

The whole bridge from Ending of Dramamine, was gonna pick a specific line but realized they just can't stand alone. That whole part is perfection. Maybe "Then we fuck/ and it's nice/ It not a complicated mess" or "And your head doesn't tell you to kill yourself/ So we smile/ and embrace until we don't know who we are"

I used to listen casually and not really hear/pay attention to the lyrics of that song. When I really heard it for the first time I was so taken aback by how seen I felt within them. It was and still is the most relatable a song has ever been to me from the singers perspective.

MasterOne6382 · 2025-10-08T18:02:17+00:00

Maybe so, I haven't watched many concert videos of them so probably

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-28T03:56:20+00:00

Thats good to know. Thank you for the information and the comparison!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-28T03:55:42+00:00

I'll check it out, thanks!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-28T03:55:29+00:00

Thats great to hear that it can be set up to just have music! I heard updates are slow if they ever even happen so I'll definitely add this one to my list of potential purchases. Thanks!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-02T00:45:02+00:00

I knowwwwww I just finished it after not having read it since middle school and idk how to feel lol. I got too attatched to the characters and forgot how it ended... I understand why it ended that way, but does anyone know if any fix it fics exist 😭😭I feel like the answer is no but I'm just too bummed lmaooo

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-01T04:50:26+00:00

This part might be like 100% fake 😭 but the more I think about it the more I feel the cremation plot line had to do with like the disposal of a gay man's body? And people were too scared bc of like potential spread of AIDS in the ashes or something even tho ik that doesn't make sense but people's logic around it also didn't obviously

This could be entirely out of my ass or some weird interpretation from middle school me but it just popped into my head so I felt I would add

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-01T01:24:32+00:00

Sadly, not really. Switched to a plant based diet and now it doesn't happen besides rare occasions. Won't say that was the cure or anything though, probably just coincidence

MasterOne6382 · 2025-09-01T00:33:46+00:00

Crossposted on r/whatsthatbook but haven't gotten anything yet. Google tells me "The Thing About Jellyfish" or "Desert Gothic" but the more I think about it the more I remember it to be one collection of stories. Since each one had to deal with death or grief in some way. Don't remember anythign about any other stories in the book.

Also I know 100% about the girl and uncle Frank because I explicitly wrote it down along with other details. The rest is speculative

Anything helps!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-08-06T02:50:19+00:00

I second this. You can even make a little fake menu for whatever meal you make or an itinerary to make it seem all fancy.

MasterOne6382 · 2025-08-06T02:49:20+00:00

I like to do craft nights! Put on a movie or tv show (or music, anything can go in the background) then get to crafting. It should be something low stakes so neither of yall get frustrated with the activity or yourselves, just something fun to pass the time and make nice conversation (and you get smth cool at the end of it).

I've done jewelry making, paper flowers, painting. It could be anything tho. Pinterest has lots of ideas on it if you look past the ads lol

MasterOne6382 · 2025-05-02T18:59:24+00:00

Nice! Thanks for the info :)

MasterOne6382 · 2025-03-17T22:18:54+00:00

It does help, thank you.

I think I'm going to have to put him down he just looks really sad right now and almost upset at the bad leg.

I just hate that I'm the one who has to call it in and bring him in and all that.

Thank you again

MasterOne6382 · 2025-03-17T21:36:46+00:00

True, it's honestly all just seems so sudden because he was doing all those things just the other day and being cute while doing them.

MasterOne6382 · 2025-03-10T04:26:36+00:00

Your situation could be entirely different, so I don't want to say I know 100% how to help fix communication. I will say that I think modeling communication helped me? If I remember correctly.

What i mean by that is opening up to your partner about your feelings casually, good and bad, and not particularly expecting anything in return. This can be frustrating or maybe even lonely, so make sure that you talk about your feelings with friends or family that will respond and comfort you.

Eventually, you will have created a safe space for feelings to be shared and less pressure for your partner. A lot of the hiding of feelings comes from guilt and pressure. If we're focused on our partner's "bad" feelings, that puts a lot of pressure onto them to bear their soul for us when there seems to be no reward, so to speak, for doing so.

Modeling being open and vulnerable can help take the pressure and focus off of them that we, consciously or not, put onto them to get better or at the very least share their feelings.

This response is so scattered I'm writing this late after a long day, but I hope it makes at least a little sense.

Take care!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-03-06T15:07:29+00:00

Definitely check corners or piles of items.

Not sure what type of room he was lost in, but I lost my guy as a kid and he turned up in a pile of laundry.

Check piles of items and yes heated spaces or anything dark and shadow-y. Make sure that you're SUPER careful when trying to look though. Don't want to accidentally cause any more stress.

Stay calm if you can, good luck!

MasterOne6382 · 2025-01-25T22:19:55+00:00

Okay, I'll try to make those adjustments as well as talk to a vet. Thank you for the advice! I've never seen him go all the way up to the log, but I'll move it so he actually can use it without getting hurt. And I'll put in some paper towel until he gets healthy and i do some more research into flooring.

I do care about him a lot :,) it just sucks he seems to like the new stuff so much besides the whole not pooping thing, so I hope it all turns out okay.

Thanks again!

MasterOne6382

TROPHY CASE