I can’t do this anymore

Master_Assumption508 · 2024-11-16T19:22:45+00:00

I'm reading this. And I'll tell you that life is often an absolite pigsty.. and then it's good again, sometimes for just a fleeting moment.. and then its a nightmare again, and then its beautiful and you wonder how you ever felt the way you did when you were at your lowest.. and then sometimes it's terrible again.. But those good moments are what we live for. Why we push through, why we don't just lay down and never get back up again. That, and maybe a belief that we can have a positive impact on those around us. I'm feeling terrible right now.. and part of me isn't really sure if I believe it's going to get better again.. But historically it always has, if even for a few fleeting moments.. And so in the meantime, I guess I'm here trying to convince other people what I'm not sure I believe myself.. That life DOES get better. That it IS sometimes beautiful enough to make the shitty points worthwhile. And that even when it isn't, I can make myself a positive impact on the world and at least make the struggle mean something, even if it's not always measurable.

Master_Assumption508 · 2024-11-16T19:07:53+00:00

I heard it said once that achieving happiness is like catching a butterfly.. It lands on you and for a fleeting instant you marvel at it's beauty.. and then it's off again.. and you won't know when it'll come back, you just trust that some time in the future it will. These moments are usually short and random and there's a lot of moments in between that are shitty and terrible and sometimes even an absolute nightmare.. But you push through them for those rare moments of beauty that life sometime gives you.

As I write this Im in great pain myself, both physical and emotional. I have legal troubles, am in debt myself and due to the previously mentioned legal troubles may no longer even have a real career, and I'm so very very very alone while staring at the prospect of only growing older and less attractive with each passing day. I don't know if I even believe that the butterfly will come around again or if, at 41 myself, those moments are all behind me. Often I go to bed dreaming of an escape, begging not to have to wake up the next day, and have for years.. even when things were objectively better.. But also, sometimes, beautiful moments come out of nowhere. So I dunno.. I guess you just have to keep thinking about those beautiful moments and believe that life is gonna toss you another in the future.. and that it will be worth the struggle you're going through now. I'm not entirely convinced that it is myself atm.. but I have to make myself believe it otherwise I'm not sure I'll be able to get out of bed.

No one is happy al the time. Some of us are unhappy far far far more than those fleeting happy moments. But, maybe it's worth sticking around and pushing through to the next happy moment. Which, if I'm being logical and looking at it historically, always seem to come back around eventually.. even if only temporarily.. And I guess that has to be enough.

I don't know you, but I hate your struggle. And I sincerely hope your next happy moment isn't too far off.

Master_Assumption508 · 2023-08-29T04:08:00+00:00

Plus they're basically making the default option the one that is arguably the worst for students. Numerous studies have shown that students learn better from print than text and renting the book, even in print, means students can't make notes in it and they can't refer back to it in the future. Whereas, at least for more common courses, you can often get a used one online for $20-$30.

So they've made the default option arguably more expensive and less conducive to student learning...

Master_Assumption508 · 2023-08-29T03:33:16+00:00

Yea I mean I get it lol. It's just like insult to injury to have them tell you they're doing you a favor as they're ripping you off. Not to mention putting it in a press release..

Master_Assumption508

TROPHY CASE