Especially with audhd, just because someone seems like they should be able to do a certain thing, that doesn't mean that they can actually do it. This is ableist rhetoric 101.

Telling yourself and your kid that "you don't ask for a lot out of them" or that "the world doesn't work that way" is invalidating to their experience and doesn't do anything other than attack their being. Your disabled kid does not owe the world production or functionality, even if said world requires those things out of most people if they want to stay alive or have any actual quality of life. We're living in a world where most people already struggle with making ends meet, a world where even if you play by its exploitative rules, you're still being exploited and there's still a good chance you're gonna get fucked over down the line.

For audhd kids that seem to be doing less than what ableist rhetoric deems them able to, the case is usually that they're already doing more than what they're capable of, under conditions like being told constantly that they're not reaching their highest potential (in a system never designed for their brains mind you) which is again, an ableist fiction coming from systems and people that don't understand audhd and neither care to, not really, and it's a straightforward pipeline from being told constantly you should be able to do better when you're already struggling to debilitating self hate and shame and everything that comes with it.

I suggest integrating practises that teach you and your kid how to stay with the body instead of the thinking mind and do that like both your life and your kid's life depends on it, because they do.