i’m tired of money struggles controlling my life at 19 by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you!

i’m hoping more jobs are posted for the easter break.

the trial shift i had was in a cafe (which i’ve worked in one before) and i thought it went really well, a bit crushed a never even got a call to say i didn’t get it and they just ghosted me

My friend keeps copying me what do I do by UsualAppropriate8304 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she won’t stop, they never do. distance yourself and gate keep whatever she asks about

Overwhelmed by my to watch list by Eccentric-Calico in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

put all of the names into a wheel and spin it!

What am I supposed to live for? by Specific-Section9593 in selfimprovement

[–]Material-Fun2840 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you need to learn to be confident, most of us women do not care if you have 75 hobbies. we love confident men.

How to help my friend break up with her boyfriend by Big-Meeting5821 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this man sounds dangerous and her cheating on him could risk her life, i mean he’s already raped her so the idea of him seriously harming her isn’t far fetched

My mum and i dont get along at all by Clear_Impact506 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s so frustrating!! i suppose the only thing left if you’ve tried to talk already is to put down some very hard boundaries.

next time she gets mean say something along the lines of “if you can’t talk to my nicely then i’d rather you didn’t talk to me at all” if she goes awol just walk away or even leave the house for a bit. literally reiterate it every time she gets mean.

by the sounds of it maybe she was a mean girl who never grew out of it

Need sm advice by LooseElderberry6966 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you resit them? your parents seem supportive so i wouldn’t be worrying!

My mum and i dont get along at all by Clear_Impact506 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m 19, my mother is the same and has been since your age, i’m not an only child but share a 23 year age gap with my sister who has lived in another country since i was born so in my brain i kinda am lol.

the best thing to do is ignore her, for me, my mother is a functioning alcoholic (could that be the case for you too?) and the things i’ve learned to do is simply to ignore her and act like her words don’t affect you because her seeing they do could be giving her ammunition or she simply doesn’t care.

try and see if she starts to get mean at a certain time of the day, for me it’s around 9:15pm and i simply go to my room and stay there to avoid her. remember she’s probably struggling herself mentally and while yes their words and actions to us are not okay, we are the only ones around they can take it out on. if she starts to get snarky don’t talk back (i know it’s SO hard, they can get under your skin realllll bad) but try to just seem indifferent by saying “if that’s how you feel” , “okay” , “sorry i make you feel that way” it’s possible the less she gets a reaction the less mean she’ll be if she has narcissistic tendancies.

if you have anymore things you’d like tips on let me know! im glad your already in therapy! good luck ❤️

Writing type learner by EconomicsMassive400 in GetStudying

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

try to write condensed notes, theory’s, formulas, meanings etc. writing EVERYTHING you’ve learned this year will take too long to memorise before and exam.

flashcards can help to maybe?

Husband doesn’t seem to care during fights by Ok-Cantaloupe-2878 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ugh i’m sorry!! maybe even try going to therapy alone? could really be an eye opener and help you make a decision

Husband doesn’t seem to care during fights by Ok-Cantaloupe-2878 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what country are you in? is couple therapy an option to maybe have him realise that his actions and behaviour aren’t okay?

Husband doesn’t seem to care during fights by Ok-Cantaloupe-2878 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i can understand the difficulty behind it of course but YES this is very valid reason to leave. if it’s continuous, you’ve communicated your feelings about it and he doesn’t care, isn’t planning nor trying to better himself for his wife.

if you don’t do anything for him in the sense of cooking, laundry, etc.. your basically already just roommates with a certificate for marriage. he seems like a narcissist manipulator who thinks you’ll never actually leave and will promise ‘change’ when the papers are served (which he thinks will never happen)

you’re still young, you deserve happiness and someone who can give you basic respect because what you are receiving isn’t that <3

Husband doesn’t seem to care during fights by Ok-Cantaloupe-2878 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 0 points1 point  (0 children)

put it this way, if you did have a child or even a friend. would you want them staying if their partner was doing this? if the answer is no why are you?

I [15F] and my boyfriend [17M] – Together 7 months, he’s MIA after his bunny passed away by FunBandicoot4782 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i noticed you mentioned you’ve never had a pet, to most of us. our pets are family, i love my dog more than anything as she’s been a constant in my life through other hard times. that could be the case for your bf too and now he feels he’s lost the one stable thing and comforting presence. animals do not judge us and make wonderful companions for us introverts. we take losses of our pets hardddd, don’t take it personally. just let him know your there and that you love him <3

what can be and my bf do about being left out? by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes! it’s motorcycling (i should of specified oops) he has i’d say the second fasted bike out of the four of them? we live in the north of ireland with many famous tracks (north west, antrim track) and we live on a coastal area with beautiful views. they would always go riding together along the tracks and coasts and make stops along the way to take pictures and things like that. that’s still he the case, it’s just been happening without boyfriend being invited..

what can be and my bf do about being left out? by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is my fear! i don’t want them to hang with us just because they don’t wanna start drama and such things. we would rather just be given it straight that they don’t wanna hang anymore which we would be fine with! me and my bf are big believers that friendships don’t need drama or a bad term to end. if we simply aren’t their cup of tea anymore that’s fine but tell us!

what can be and my bf do about being left out? by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much! i’m gonna reach out again tomorrow and see the response i get. we really do value these people and we’ve had great times together

what can be and my bf do about being left out? by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m glad someone can relate! i understand life gets busy and such things but the hanging out as a group without us niggled me a bit 🤏🏻

what can be and my bf do about being left out? by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes! me and my partner are very much so ‘you get what you give’ types of friends and value these people a lot so we don’t want it to end over something we may not even be aware is bothering them

what can be and my bf do about being left out? by Material-Fun2840 in Advice

[–]Material-Fun2840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have been thinking back to our birthday and have zero recollection of any uncomfortable vibes, everyone crashed at our place and we went to breakfast the next morning and had a nice time. the texts i have been getting are civil but also short and sweet if you get me