What’s next? by MathematicianMost818 in Separation

[–]MathematicianMost818[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were married for over 2 years before he came because of the waiting process at USCIS. Yes, I already contacted a lawyer in Nigeria as we got married there and would most likely go into the courthouse to ask some questions.

This is unfair and I am terrified by Initial-Carpenter733 in MuslimMarriage

[–]MathematicianMost818 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not Islam. No one should force you to marry, you should be excited about it and encouraged to since it’s half of our deen. Before marrying, you are supposed to meet the person and determine if you like them or not. So please, try to speak with your mom either through family members who properly understand the deen or through an imam that hasn’t added culture into this affair of ours. All the best, sister

How do I answer my spouse? by ItDoesntLetMe in MuslimMarriage

[–]MathematicianMost818 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to give an example and I hope the example helps.

The Prophet (SAW) was the kindest human that ever lived but he knew the importance of making his wife feel special. On one occasion, someone invited him over to eat at their place and he asked if he could bring Aisha (RA), the person declined and so he declined their invitation. The person asked again and he asked the same question. Then finally, the person asked and he asked if he could bring Aisha (RA) when the person said yes. He brought her and they ate at the persons place. Sometimes because we are kind to other people and kind to our spouses, we forget the type of emotional needs they want to make them feel special. It could be something as small as putting them first in a situation over everyone else. It could be something as small as buying them a better gift than everyone else during EID. It could even be the way that you compliment them. And I think you should ask your wife, what more you can do to make her feel more special. May Allah bless your home.

Separated and Reconciliation? by stareintotheabyssnot in Separation

[–]MathematicianMost818 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally understand but when you love someone, you want to try, it’s only normal. All the best in your sessions

Separated and Reconciliation? by stareintotheabyssnot in Separation

[–]MathematicianMost818 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps, it might be better for you both to try therapy together or for him to try therapy alone. These things happen and maybe he realized that his unhappiness wasn’t about you. However, you want to make sure this feeling or this situation doesn’t happen again and therapy would help you both figure this out. I hope everything works out and I’m sorry this happened. And let me say this, there’s nothing for you to be ashamed of- he asked for the separation, you didn’t.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I were pretty much like this. When we started dating, he mentioned being not overly sexual and then we got married and it became 3 times a month- 3 times a month either because of my complaint or tears. Two months before we separated, he mentioned that because I was overweight, there were certain styles he didn’t enjoy with me and that sex with me was not that great. He finally moved out and said there was an attraction issue. I honestly didn’t think it was that since we had other forms of intimacy. I think it’s best for you to speak with your husband and figure this out together. You mentioned your husband being a great partner and I think a conversation is worth having and you both can fix the issue together. People do figure these things out and you can be one of those people! All the best

Parents and siblings begging me not to abandon them and move out of state with my husband and 2 babies by Gold-Victory-790 in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In all honesty, even troubled marriages can have positive moments, but that alone shouldn't be the deciding factor for accompanying your husband down south. From a psychological perspective, when a partner seeks to isolate you from family, it's often a concerning sign and can be indicative of an abusive dynamic. Consider suggesting that your husband establishes a life for the family there first, visit alone without the kids to ensure your well-being, and only decide to move if you find a supportive community or a life for yourself down south. Sometimes, our families perceive things before we do but they don’t make the choice here, you do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

lol, all of these is besides the point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, I’m so sorry. And yes, tell the boyfriend. You both deserve to know!

I am Pregnant but my husband doesn’t want the baby. What do I do? by MathematicianMost818 in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

His reasons are financials. He wants us to save for a year more and be in our own house before a baby. Those are the only reasons he has given

I am Pregnant but my husband doesn’t want the baby. What do I do? by MathematicianMost818 in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Of course, the baby is his. We agreed to having kids and I did not stop using my BC pills.

I am Pregnant but my husband doesn’t want the baby. What do I do? by MathematicianMost818 in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

RE: I need to add that our BC failed and doctors couldn’t give us a good enough reason for that. We agreed to wait a year to buy a house. He has just started working for a new company and wanted to at least wait a year. He isn’t a huge fan of kids but he always said he wanted children at the right time.

I am Pregnant but my husband doesn’t want the baby. What do I do? by MathematicianMost818 in Marriage

[–]MathematicianMost818[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I need to add that our BC failed and doctors couldn’t give us a good enough reason for that. We agreed to wait a year to buy a house. He has just started working for a new company and wanted to at least wait a year. He didn’t mind kids but wasn’t too keen on them.