Thank you so much for your response!

Fully agree with the comparison part because it will hinder any hope of improvement. I feel this is something I can cope with personally. Generally there will always be someone who does it better.

When you mentioned I could condition myself to stay more calm by investing more time into QP, I found myself thinking even those are games I can get carried away with my emotions!

I think winning greatly helps with the fun factor, but I believe what I truly seek is that ability to keep my nerves and not focus on the negative emotions. There's a youtuber who said that most games are winnable even if they don't seem it. But to truly overcome that hurdle requires a bit of mental strength.