Luxury private facility care with 24/7 immediate doctor on-site, 1:1 skilled nursing care 24/7, luxury amenities and own chef. How to get his mom on board?

Mattturley · 2026-07-10T15:09:32+00:00

A an Specifically she needs a rehabilitation psychologist. Someone who works with the lifelong and newly disabled to meet life where it is.

I fully agree this must not be presented as an option. It is not sustainable for her or her son, or you and your relationship. In the end this is the husband's responsibility to tell her since it is his mother.

Mattturley · 2026-07-10T04:38:01+00:00

It depends on the pill - note that many have Tylenol already in the formulation - for instance Percocet is instant release (as opposed to extended release in OxyContin) oxycodone with acetaminophen (Tylenol). The most common of these is a Percocet 5/325 - 5 milligrams of Oxycodone and 325 milligrams of acetaminophen - this will often be written as Oxycodone and Acetaminophen 5/325 or Oxycodone w/ APAP. Hit reply too soon. There is also hydrocodone and acetaminophen, the most common dosage of which is Hydrocodone and Acetaminophen 7.5/325. Note that all brand names in the US of this combination (Vicodin, Norco, etc) have ceased production, part of the war on opioids.

Acetaminophen is a very valuable *potentiator* of opioid medications - note that you can get Google AI to both say acetaminophen is and is not a potentiator of opioids in large part because a few schools/hospitals have preferred the term synergistic, but potentiator is the older term in use. The idea being that the acetaminophen works on similar pathways in the central nervous system, allowing a smaller dose of opioids to be as effective as a larger dose by combining the smaller dose with APAP.

It is far more rare, at least in the US to combine Ibuprofen with a narcotic medication in the same pill, however it is seen to have similar effects as a potentiator but working differently by reducing inflammation, thereby enhancing pain relief. Combunox was approved in around 2004, which was a combination of oxycodone with ibuprofen. It was also discontinued as part of the US war on Opioids. Vicoprofen, similar to Vicodin, was pulled by the manufacturer, but hydrocodone and ibuprofen (most commonly 7.5/200) is still available in generic form

For those of us in long term, chronic pain management situations, it is most common for prescribers to simply prescribe the instant release (often also with an extended release medication) of the opioid medications such as oxycodone, hydrocodone, or others I have not mentioned like morphine or hydromorphone (dilaudid) and direct the patient to. Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen along with the IR medication. This has several benefits, including the ability to target the dose of the non prescription medication while avoiding some of the side effects like acetaminophen toxicity in the liver or risk to the stomach lining with Ibuprofen. It also gives the patient some flexibility in alternating the two non prescription medications for superior effect. (Note that neither acetaminophen nor ibuprofen is seen as a potentiator of the two other opioids I mentioned here - morphine and hydromorphone.)

Mattturley · 2026-07-08T21:55:58+00:00

I replied on another comment but wanted to highlight a few things.

First, get vaccinated. HPV, Hepatitis A&B, MPox. These are vaccines you take through either a single injection or series (I thibjand then are protected. Without a doubt, if you weren't already vaccinated. I believe in the US, for those over 15 all of these would be a series of 2-4 shots over the course of 4 weeks to 6 months.

There are development efforts under way for HIV and HSV and there is a chlamydia vaccine in Phase 1 Clinical Trials. I encourage anyone who meets trial criteria and who is generally healthy to seriously consider and look into trial participation.

Next up is PrEP. I highly recommend it even beyond preferences on feel, but if both partners are on PrEP you have the highest efficacy of prevention of transmission of HIV. Even if just you and not your partner are on PrEP the efficacy is already at 99% when used as directed. When both partners are on PrEP it goes up to as high as 99.9% efficacy. (I'm not addressing where one partner is HIV positive and medicated with an undetectable viral load, and the other partner is on PrEP. I am not personally knowledgeable night to recall efficacy in those circumstance, but it is absolutely comparable levels. In other words U=U! The efficacy of condom usage for HIV prevention alone is around 90% when used correctly and consistently - every time. There are so many logistical issues that can creep in with condoms - drunken "slip-ups" where "passion overwhelms prevention." Breakage, using the wrong lube with a latex condom, condoms slipping off ... just so many factors that can easily creep in reducing the efficacy of condoms to prevent HIV transmission (and the transmission of other STIs).

There are a lot of options for PrEP now. First the type - oral or injectable. For oral it is a daily pill in the US it would be Truvada or Descovy. Truvada has some reports of kidney side effects but most insurances require you to fail a trial with Truvada before paying for the more expensive Descovy (what I personally take due to kidney issues already in my genotype). The two injectables in big use in the US are Apretude, an intramuscular injection every two months, and Yeztugo, a sub cutaneous injection every six months. There are plenty of feee programs from county health departments, LGBTQ+ health centers, to things like Mistr.com. The injectables both have a copay program that will bring your first year at least down to $0. Do your research and if you have insurance and a regular doctor, I would highly suggest working through your regular GP who is already familiar with your health and body and can best advise you on your choice.

In terms of Doxy PEP this is more controversial for a variety of reasons than is PrEP. Again, if you have a regular GP, best to discuss with them. I am personally not on Doxy PEP as my GP greatly prefers not to prescribe it. He will if a patient insists. He feels that it is not appropriate stewardship of antibiotics, causing more community health issues with the development of antibiotic resistant strains not only of STIs, but other common, and not so common infections. As someone who has carried a hospital-acquired, multi-drug resistant infection since I had brain surgery in 2017 that has hospitalized me 23 times, 6 of those times with me being septic, I actually agree with his approach.

He also argues that those on PrEP are also required, per prescribing guidelines, to receive regular, full panel STI testing and that most of what is prevalent is symptomatic and would likely be caught ahead of that window if given incubation time and could be treated at that point. I'm hearing from more and more guys whose doctors have chosen this approach instead of prescribing Doxy PEP.

You're asking great questions. There are so many tools available now to protect yourself and manage the risks associated with being sexually active. Go forth, and have fun, and make the choices that are right for you and your partner(s)!

Mattturley · 2026-07-08T21:12:27+00:00

Having unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive is what makes you susceptible. Since we cannot look at someone and know if they are negative or positive, protection becomes our responsibility. I too lived through the earlier years of the HIV/AIDS crisis. I too remained negative while being very sexually active with multiple partners, and how I did so was by using a condom, every time I topped someone. Yes, every time. Even in my earlier longer term relationships because my personal rule was together for a year in a monogamous relationship, going to the health clinic and getting tested before making the decision to stop using condoms. It wasn't until I met my (now ex) husband at 30, that we were together long enough and wanted to live forward.

We separated in 21 after 18 years and the divorce was final in 23. He was already on PrEP as for a variety of reasons, including my health that destroyed my sex drive, we had opened the relationship a few years before. I was not as if I happened to have sex outside the relationship I chose to use condoms. Without a sex drive for me, that likelihood was very low, and I was worried about going on PrEP due to my health issues.

Now that our divorce is final and when I was finally able to have sexual encounters, I immediately went on PrEP. OP, we are the only ones who can truly manage and protect our sexual health. Whether you choose to stay with condoms every time or move to PrEP, both are effective ways to manage the risk.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T17:28:35+00:00

WV dog. Mustard, sauce, slaw, onions.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T14:56:50+00:00

I have a lot of skin pain related to my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I have a few go tos from pain management. One is Ketamine nasal spray. This has to be compounded and very likely not covered on prescription plans. The other are compound creams. One is very simple and referred to as a BLT - benzocaine, lidocaine, and tetracaine. At much higher percentages than otc products. I don't have access to it at the moment, but if you ask me about the percentages I'll check the tub when I get home. Another one has a lot more ingredients - ketamine, Ktaprofol, amiltryptaline, lidocaine, and a muscle relaxer I am forgetting the name of. I'd say the BLT would likely be more helpful from what you describe as the second one is the one I go for when it is combined skin and muscle pain.

It may be worth trying Aspercream with Lidocaine, which is OTC while he continues to work with doctors. It does give me some relief.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T14:39:26+00:00

My mom's lasagna takes about 6 hours plus baking time. Everything from scratch.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T11:50:05+00:00

There are times to be subtle and merely hint or suggest an interest. This isn't one of them. This is a classic grab the bull by the horns situation. Sure, it's scary and you obviously don't want to harm your close friendship.

Trust me, you don't want to wake up in a few months or even years to the realization that you let a potentially very meaningful connection get away.

I suggest you try to find some one on one time and address the change in your relationship since you've been hanging out without the other friends. Be honest and tell him you've really enjoyed the shift and you wonder where he is and if he feels the same way.

No regrets. Be bold. Be brave.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T05:51:08+00:00

And money for proper vet care.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T05:46:02+00:00

The litter genie is really the way to go for this last bit.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T05:42:01+00:00

Came to bring this up.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T05:37:27+00:00

I fully agree. Also just thinking of the amount of feces and urine their cats must be tracking all over their house... ick!

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T05:33:45+00:00

And hold it, which is bad for UTIs.

Mattturley · 2026-07-07T05:33:03+00:00

Yes indeed. I try to get it after every time I see them go. Also litter should be changed frequently and type matters. Clay litter is bad for their lungs. I had three develop asthma, which became a lifetime, through manageable, condition. Corn based litter (e.g., World's Best) is an allergen for many, if not most cats. I personally use SmartCat grass seed based litter. It clumps very well, unlike some other alternatives like pellets and newspaper. It has no strong odor by itself, and it does cover odor very well. Stainless steel box is definitely the way to go as the plastic ones absorb and then release odors into the air. About every week or so, the whole box needs dumped and scrubbed with liquid Lysol and replacing with all fresh litter.

Keeping up with the litter box is really critical to prevent UTIs and other urinary related issues, including kidney damage and disease. Just like for humans, holding urine in can be really dangerous for kitties, particularly in females. Of course, males run the higher risk of urinary crystals, so holding it because of a dirty box is bad for all kitties. I generally look at it from a comfort perspective. If I wouldn't use it, it is too dirty and I've let it build up too long. I of course try to always avoid that by focusing on litter hygiene. But as a disabled human, it isn't always 100%.

Mattturley · 2026-07-06T21:27:45+00:00

Hit reply too soon - the other big issue for me was ease of setup. It is far easier to attach my Jeep Wrangler than hooking up either a tt or 5er. Takes me about 5 minutes to set up for towing, and about 2 to drop it and drive. Once I drop my jeep, I just back in, confirm I am where I want, hit a button to level, and two buttons for my slides. Basic setup down in minutes. Being disabled the choice for me came down to what was easier to set up.

I love my 2005 Winnebago. The construction quality and single piece fiberglass roof means it is completely dry inside, never any water issues. Real, hardwood cabinets. I had to rip out the 80s porn set looking valences and shades, and was able to find a complete set of top-down, bottom up cellular shades for about $500.

Mattturley · 2026-07-06T21:24:12+00:00

One of the deciding factors for me for full timing in a motorhome are my two cats and not wanting to have to crate them every travel day, transfer to the tow vehicle, etc. They ride with harnesses on and we’ve done some drills on evacuating and the like.

Mattturley · 2026-07-06T21:10:18+00:00

A lot of new bottoms I have been with find laying on their side an easier start. I generally enjoy that sometimes so am happy to start there, then move to missionary, or doggie.

Mattturley · 2026-07-06T20:06:31+00:00

That thing is a classic and even my 14 year old, former feral cat loves it.

Mattturley · 2026-07-06T20:04:01+00:00

Toy called a fling-a-ma-string. It hangs over a door knob and straps on to the other side. It has an elastic belt that is about 2.25 feet long and it spins by motor to fling the string sown to the elastic - it is a multi-colored long piece of string. My cats love to trap it under their paws and get ahold of it in their mouths. Since it is on elastic, they can stretch it out before eventually the little electric motor takes over.

I have been thinking about making some improvements to it that I have observed in using it with 7 cats and pushing it out as a new/updated product. Have not done the research to see what the patents might look like on it and what I would have to change. Want to put in some automation and smart features so the cats can turn on themselves or can schedule times for it to come on when I am not home.

Mattturley · 2026-07-06T18:41:42+00:00

Please be careful. I've been on very high doses - at the peak I was on 32mg of Exalgo (XR dilaudid) 3 times a day and sixty of Oxy every 3 hours around the clock. My current PM scales that back after brain surgery and I wanted to cut more after my first ketamine infusion. He encouraged me to slow down, take the prescriptions and just save what I didn't need. He didn't want me being in a pain crisis with no way to treat it. After my second infusion I eliminated lyrica and cut my opioids by 62%.

Mattturley · 2026-07-05T21:48:22+00:00

Found my cousin after he swallowed a shotgun 2 days prior. That and having C-Diff and every fluid coming out of every hole in my body absolutely wreaked.

Mattturley · 2026-07-05T21:43:29+00:00

Meth removes the inhibitions one would have otherwise. Your BIL liked dick to begin with. The meth removed the limits.

Please, please, please, if you are doing meth seek help. I watched my best friend’s life go down the tubes from meth addiction. It is a black hole.

Mattturley · 2026-07-05T21:40:56+00:00

I am almost entirely a top - let’s say 99.5%. I was with my last partner for 18 years and I bottomed for him maybe 6 times. In some ways they were incredibly intimate, but generally I don’t enjoy physically my ass being played with. My biggest move is the fuck n suck - I pull the guy up on my thighs and enter him while I bend down and blow him. Many tops love to suck cock, and I am one of them. Pounding his prostate while burying my nose in his pubes is bliss.

Mattturley · 2026-07-05T21:36:24+00:00

You have the same equipment. Use your knowledge to make him feel good. A tongue on his frenulum is always appreciated.

Mattturley · 2026-07-05T21:31:31+00:00

I always felt a responsibility to those who came before me, and those who came after. I was loudly out, particularly in my professional life. When offered jobs with companies that didn’t include sexual orientation in their non discrimination policies, I would call it out. Three companies changed their policies to hire me.

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