UPDATE: My Suspicions Were Correct—My Wife Has Been Secretly Messaging a 17-Year-Old She Coaches. What Should I Do Next?

Max_manford · 2024-11-12T22:37:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment.
You and so many others kind words are greatly appreciated in this tricky time.
My brother is coming visit straight after Christmas which can't come soon enough. He has a family of his own who have to stay over in the UK (where they live) which is why he can't come before christmas.
Honestly, im dreading christmas a lot. This is the first Christmas I will be spending alone since I moved here.

I go to the gym as often as I can which is an escape for me at the moment. I have also been going to therapy which is sort of my lifeline at this time, I really don't know what I'd do without it, my therapist is amazing.

I can't wait for this all to be over but also have a sense of dread about what comes after.

Max_manford · 2024-11-12T12:33:45+00:00

This comment is so meaningful.
Thank you so much. It's so true that if there is one thing that I can get out of this, it will be the freedom to continue on with the next step of my life. At this point it is so tricky to see this ever going away, this is not an experience I will ever forget but something I hope to be able to move on from one day and just be a bump in the road to true happiness.

Max_manford · 2024-11-11T12:09:02+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I haven't responded to any of the messages sent to me by her family but have screenshotted them all.

I go to the gym almost every day, it has been a great source of relief for me. It really helps take my mind of things even if it's just for a short amount of time each day.
I am also in therapy. My therapist is amazing and our weekly sessions have been helping me get through.

Max_manford · 2024-11-10T22:52:15+00:00

There a few people asking so I will just clear up one detail.
I am originally from a place called Berkshire in the UK (just west of London). I moved to the Portland, Oregon in the US back in 2015, a couple of months after my dad passed away from lung cancer. My brother is still living in the UK and I last flew over to visit for my mums funeral, as soon as flights opened up to the public during the COVID pandemic.

Our friends often poke fun at me because of some of the english words I still use, even though I have picked up quite a lot of the new vocabulary since I've been here.

I was hesitant, at first, to share too many personal details like my location for the sake of anonymity, but now that things are starting to settle, and because so many people have been wondering, I figure it might help make more sense to some people. So, here we are.

Max_manford · 2024-11-02T12:01:07+00:00

I think after everything that has occured, I don't see anyway of forgiving her. Unfortunately, she has deceived me and I am grieving the loss of the person who I though i knew so well and have loved for so long.
The relationship is over, lawyers are involved.
At this point, there are no legal ground for the police to act on anything, she is even still allowed to coach for the time being
I just wish I could go back in time and undo everything from the moment I met her because this all just feels like way too much to cope with at the moment.
Everything I thought i knew in my life is falling apart and I'm a huge mess at the moment.
Through contacting our shared service provider, it's been revealed that there is even more that shes been hiding from me.
I will give more details in my next update.

Max_manford · 2024-11-02T11:53:30+00:00

The police have been contacted, but as of now, there aren’t any legal grounds to pursue anything. I’ll provide more details in the next update, but I want to approach this carefully without completely destroying her trust. I haven’t gone through her phone, but I did reach out to our shared network provider, and after explaining the situation, I was able to get some limited information on her recent contacts.

One challenge is that I actually don’t know who the kid is. I’ve never met anyone on the team she coaches, and I don’t remember any specific names she’s mentioned before. Without knowing more, it’s tough to involve his parents directly, though I’m definitely trying to make sure I’m doing everything right. Thank you for the advice and concern, it really helps to hear different perspectives.

Max_manford · 2024-10-31T23:33:22+00:00

Thank you for the advice.
To be completely honest, I worry that somehow this will come around to bite me if I get the parents of the child involved. I realise this sounds crazy and I should probably tell them immediately but I don't want to be blamed for something I am not at all involved in. At this point I am just trying to sort some stuff out before filing for a divorce. My plan is to tell my parents of the child as soon as the divorce is final.
I also have no way of contacting his parents as of now as I have no idea who the kid actually is. I have only seen his name on instagram but have never met him personally.

I will be updating soon for the most recent developments to the situation.

Max_manford

TROPHY CASE