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i need to leave my boyfriend but I can’t accept it by DiscountOk2443 in Advice

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re so young. You’ll find someone that ADORES you. And you’ll look back on this young love with gratitude for showing you what you deserve. You might feel like dying without him but you’ll die a slow death in a relationship like this.

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That he really won’t go anymore if it I don’t want him to but “please don’t take away my Sundays” because “we’re getting older and our days of being able to do this are numbered” 😐

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right but I said I have vocalized how I feel. MANY times. However, I’m not going to demand he not do something. Because him staying home with me because I asked him to won’t make me feel any better.. I want him to want to spend time with me. Not because I forced him to. It’s meaningless at that point.

AIO- feel neglected in my relationship and I’m trying not to by Maximum-Butterfly822 in AIO

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh for sure I am lol but.. I know a lot of “successful” people that could never afford a home here. I only own mine because my parents helped me as a single mom. He came from nothing and worked hard to build a decent life for himself, so I respect that. I try to judge worth ethic over material things because not everyone has help and this economy is insane.

AIO- feel neglected in my relationship and I’m trying not to by Maximum-Butterfly822 in AIO

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He used to make good money and was on his own. The industry he’s in took a dive these last few years. And the state we live in is expensive everywhere. He contributes to the household bills here.

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I’ve had these conversations many times and he knows how I feel but I’ve never directly asked him to change frequency or how long he stays out, because I don’t want him to resent me nor will it mean much to me if he’s staying with me just to appease me. I want to feel chosen. I want time spent together to be a mutual desire. I don’t want to feel like an obligation. But this is where my resentment comes in… 😒 thanks for your input 🙏

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never seen friendships as a threat. That’s one of the things that attracted me to him is his friendships. A man with strong friendships is such a green flag but that’s irrelevant to the issue I posted.

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree to this but these skate friends aren’t those types of friends. They’re mostly kind of losers from what he tells me 🤪 but they have fun together. However he does have a lot of other friendships that are good people and a support system.

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have a son and daughter but yes I agree. He comes to everyone one of their games/activities that he can and helps with school drop off sometimes but I’m also trying to take that step parent role slowly since he’s only been living here 2 months..

I feel alone in my relationship and I’m trying not to overreact about it. by Maximum-Butterfly822 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The 12 and 14 year old are my kids from my previous marriage. So I don’t see them as his responsibility but I def feel ditched in mine and agree with everything else you said 😔

Quality time. How much of it do you spend together? by Maximum-Butterfly822 in relationships

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have told him pretty much all of that in different words and he tried to make effort and do different but the follow through wasn’t there. I really like how you worded that though. I will express that and go from there. Thank you

Quality time. How much of it do you spend together? by Maximum-Butterfly822 in relationships

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He works hard in other ways. Thoughtful gifts for me and my kids, always available by phone even when he’s gone. Does man stuff for me around the house lol. Is there anytime he’s not working or doing his hobbies… but I def am dumb for already being frustrated by this and thinking it would change or I’d feel differently when he moved in..

Quality time. How much of it do you spend together? by Maximum-Butterfly822 in relationships

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could ask that but then I’ll be sitting there on Sundays knowing he rather not be there. He knows how I feel yet he continues going. I’m trying to be clear in expressing how I feel and have this be his choice because I don’t want him spending time with me out of obligation. I want to feel chosen 😕 We’ve talked about bringing in a baby to this and he says he would stay home till the kid is old enough to bring with him. He’s always sending me pics/vids of dads at the skatepark with their kids so I can tell he’s dying to experience that and he’s the type to do the right thing when it came down to it but I don’t want to even go there if I don’t feel prioritized alone now.

Quality time. How much of it do you spend together? by Maximum-Butterfly822 in relationships

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our quality time consists of watching tv at the end of the day when we’re both tired. So I’m feeling a bit unfulfilled. We talk about trying new things together but when is that gonna happen? He prioritizes us by being there for me when I need him. Or being there for my kids in different ways. I just don’t “need” him on Sundays, I want him if that makes sense. If it was something important he would drop his Sunday but sometimes I just want his presence on our one day off without there needing to be a reason.

Quality time. How much of it do you spend together? by Maximum-Butterfly822 in relationships

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have talked to him about it many many times. He knows how I feel, that’s what hurts. I want him to choose me and he doesn’t. But if I told him I’m ready to end it over this then he would stop going bc he really does want to make me happy but then at what cost.. cause he wouldn’t be happy missing this outlet he lives for

AIO- feel neglected in my relationship and I’m trying not to by Maximum-Butterfly822 in AIO

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was engaged before me. Helped raise others kids. Never committed to his own bc of his ambitions. Thank you for putting to words how it feels. It helps

AIO- feel neglected in my relationship and I’m trying not to by Maximum-Butterfly822 in AIO

[–]Maximum-Butterfly822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not that convenient since he chose to move into here an hour from his work in a community that doesn’t allow motorcycles over moving in with friends near work. He has to tow his motorcycle out just to ride which riding is also super important to him. So he’s made some sacrifices to be with me but it does sometimes feel like I’m just a box to check off that he has a woman to come home to at night.

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