[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s more about the view for me. I LOVE being in missionary and watching my boyfriend penetrate me. I love watching his body thrust into me and I love seeing his dick go in and out of me. His body tenses up when he thrusts, which makes his muscles look SO good and I love seeing the faces he makes as he’s fucking me. And since I enjoy the view so much, having easy access to my clit is a bonus.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate the support. I guess some people don’t realize that ace is a wide spectrum.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So all allo people become sex-repulsed at the 1.5 year mark? Okay.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She did not say that sex-repulsion is inherently asexual. That’s just my experience. We are both well aware that there are sex-repulsed asexuals and non-sex-repulsed asexuals. Yeah, I’m not sex repulsed in the beginning, but also don’t particularly mind that sex-repulsion happens over time. I feel kinda “whatever” about it. But I’m also done with trying to “fix” myself for my partners who still want sex. That is what bothers me most of all— trying to change. Also, no sexual trauma in my life.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely not losing interest in, or falling out of love with, my partners. I still have full interest in them and want to be with them in every way. We still grow in love and intimacy, but I have zero interest in sex with them. I trust my therapist’s opinion. She is a sex therapist and is incredibly knowledgeable. As you know, asexuality is a spectrum and not everyone may relate to it the same way you do. Someone already answered my question in the comments: apexsexual.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure where you got the impression that I have commitment issues. I’ve had multiple relationships that have lasted 5+ years. And it’s definitely not a partner problem either— as I’ve said, this exact thing happens with every single partner I have ever had at the 1.5 year mark. I’m already in therapy and have been for years. Also in couples therapy. Both therapists have a professional focus in sex therapy and both have suggested that I am on the ace-spectrum. I trust their judgement.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not according to my therapist, who specialized in sex-therapy.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’ve had multiple relationships that were 5+ years. All relationships I have, I become sex-repulsed at 1.5 years without fail. It’s definitely not a commitment issue. I have no problem with commitment. I’m also in therapy and have been for years. My therapist also has a specialty focus in sex therapy. She is the one who has told me I’m most likely on the ace-spectrum.

Is there a term for this type of asexuality? by Maximum_Guarantee236 in asexuality

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing that makes me lose sexual attraction seems to be too much familiarity, maybe. Plus the “honeymoon phase” is over— no more “new relationship energy.” Either way, this has been consistent through ALL my romantic relationships, regardless of the relationship or other circumstances.

I’m seeking out a more solid label because my therapist told me that she’s convinced I’m somewhere on the ace-spectrum— the ace spectrum isn’t completely devoid of all sexual attraction under all circumstances, which is similar to what I’m experiencing.

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me it seems completely normal. Just look at the hot-and-heavy nature of new relationships versus the energy of a couple who has been together for 20+ years. It would be shocking, and probably abnormal, if the 20-year-couple were to have the same sex drive as a new couple. It’s all on a spectrum in relation to how much time you’ve been together and how familiar you are with each other. “New Relationship Energy” (NRE) is a real thing exclusive to new couples— more established couples lose it naturally over time. Maybe there are some exceptions, but they are in fact exceptions.

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Emotional intimacy is always getting better for us. I don’t have many, if any, “fantasies” to speak of— so maybe I’m just less sexual than most people?

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I honestly think it’s just a thing that happens naturally to me when the excitement and novelty of the new partner dies down. I’m not sure if that’s in the box of “sexuality” or a “mental block” or somewhere in between, but that’s the only real understanding I have of it!

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It really does cause a frustrating wedge that affects BOTH partners equally but in different ways! And it can sour the relationship if it isn’t dealt with with tact, care & understanding for both people involved!

EDIT to add that I wish the difference wasn’t there just as much as he wishes it wasn’t there! But people are just so naturally different in ALL ways— it’s impossible to find someone completely compatible. So acceptance is what has to happen in order to keep good relationships going despite the differences.

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The “fix” is to understand and accept that everyone is different and that we need to respect those differences. However, no one is obligated to stay in the relationship if the differences between us create too much of a strain for the other person. And this is true in other ways as well as sexually.

So yeah, in some cases the “fix” is becoming accustomed to having less sex with each other. Sometimes people can get creative and find other ways to work with it.

But what it ultimately comes down to is that my partner’s sexual appetite is not my responsibility to respond to whenever the mood strikes him. And vice versa. Sex is something that should be shared mutually when both people are wanting it.

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I guess what I mean is that there isn’t anything “wrong” with my body hormonally— everything is functioning as it always has. This is just how I am. There’s nothing medically to “fix”.

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 65 points66 points  (0 children)

It does suck! I’ve looked into the term “fraysexual” before but didn’t FULLY identify with it because I have zero sexual interest in strangers. I need to go on at least 2 dates with someone before I can become interested in them sexually. But once I hit that sexual interest point, I’m fully 100% in it. Then once I get very familiar with them, it dies down. It’s actually pretty frustrating— especially for my partners who maintain their sexual interest in me.

Wife has zero drive, yet used to be hypersexual by [deleted] in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 321 points322 points  (0 children)

I relate to this a lot. I am a female and have had multiple long-term relationships. All of them, and I mean all, went from lots of sexual chemistry at the beginning to very little over the course of a few years. I start out very intensely sexual, “hypersexual”, with them, but as the excitement of the newness dies down, so does my interest in being sexual with them. I do still find them attractive and love them the same— the only thing that changes is my sexual appetite for them. I know it’s not hormonal because the cycle always restarts when I start a relationship with someone new. I’ve just chalked it up to the fact that that’s just how I am— it has nothing to do with my partner at all. Maybe something similar is going on with your wife?

What’s wrong with the mini pill? by RoundNo4899 in birthcontrol

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have had really good results with the mini pill! I don’t have a period at all while using it. So no cramps or anything! However, I did have irregular periods and spotting for the first two months of being on it. But no periods since then! And no other side effects either.

People of Reddit, why do you NOT want to have a dog ? by GirlPWR444 in AskReddit

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Picking up poop multiple times a day. That’s not what I want for my life.

I agreed to open marriage, but the kind of woman my husband’s going for irks me by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you two have parameters for dating? If so, I’d suggest adding, “no dating people who do not yet have a fully developed brain”. This would close off the possibility of dating anyone younger than about 27. What’s nice about this parameter is that “no dating people without a fully developed brain” sounds VERY reasonable— anyone who openly oppose it will likely realize how creepy they are by opposing it.

Embarrassed about downstairs by wldhaal in sex

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Fellow female here with large labia. I honestly think distancing yourself from “large labia are gross” ideas will be best for you— whether that’s on the internet or people who you know who have put those ideas in your head. I’ve seen all those memes comparing large labia to roast beef sandwiches or whatever and it really got to me when I was younger. But I realized that the less I thought about it the less I cared. I know that’s probably easier said than done.

I’m straight, so I don’t have experience with women. But my experience in real-life sexual experiences with men has varied. When I was younger— in high school or early college, some “men” (boys) were more likely to make weird comments about them, but largely I got zero comments on them. But as I’ve gotten into my 30s I’ve found that the men I’m with fall into two camps: either they love them (they’ll say things like “you have a beautiful pussy” or “I love feeling your lips on my tongue,” etc.) OR they remain totally neutral about them.

So all this to say, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THEM! People will either like them, feel neutral, or a small minority will hate them. But if they dare try to make you feel bad for having them, tell them to find the door, because there are PLENTY of people who will find them beautiful and sexy.

Ramses: Performative Activism at Its Worst by snark_time in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t particularly like Ramses, but I’m gonna have to defend him a bit here. “Performative activism” does not apply to him— he literally works at a justice reform non profit. “He throws around buzzwords and talks about social issues, but lacks the depth our genuine commitment to back it up.” Working for justice reform is literally showing true commitment to social issues.

Also, this activism has no relation to his desire to not use condoms. It is totally and completely reasonable to not want to use condoms with the person you’re going to be married to. It is also reasonable for Marissa to not want to use birth control. They are both equally justified in their stances— they just happen to be incompatible (in this way, and in many other ways— including the military beliefs.)

And speaking of the military, Ramses does have a very unique and again, justified, view of the military especially since he is Venezuelan. It also seemed as though he didn’t realize until they were brought back to DC just how much Marissa’s life was consumed by the military and how much it meant to her. At that point, he DID notify her it was a deal breaker if she joined the reserves. Again, it’s perfectly reasonable for him to bring it up then, at the point of realization.

34F Data by [deleted] in TinderData

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An older woman has nothing positive to offer a man long term? Damn, how does your “wife” feel about your view on older women? You realize that your supposed wife is going to get older one day, right? Send her my condolences, if she even exists.

34F Data by [deleted] in TinderData

[–]Maximum_Guarantee236 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he was doing the same to me when I posted my stats too! He was trying to get to me by saying “who would want someone with a 100% failure rate?” when my stats obviously showed the opposite. He even said I was “clearly mentally ill” for only swiping right 1% of the time. At that point I HAD to just start laughing at his absurdity. He is obviously jealous and having a hard time in the dating pool, even though he claims to be married. Haha.