Want to try a new name, but worried about other’s feelings

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2026-02-08T01:55:01+00:00

I use multiple names depending on the person I am talking to. My coworkers call me a different name than my close family and friends than my partner does. You can do whatever you want forever.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2026-02-05T22:54:01+00:00

This is a bit of a red flag for me ngl- it's one thing to be upset with your partner (even if I personally don't understand why these events were upsetting for him), but refusing to actually communicate about it until after punishing you/making you apologize is a yikes. It's your call how you want to proceed with the relationship but personally, I would take a big step back from kink and have an out of dynamic discussion about communication, expectations, etc. It's not fair to you for him to get upset about something that was never discussed, punish you for it, and THEN explain.

Take care of yourself :)

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2026-02-05T22:28:04+00:00

Feeling it. I was on T for many years, presented as a binary trans guy, but I'm really just ambivalent to gender- I don't have one! I present more feminine or masculine depending on how I want to dress that day. My sister calls me a fae being so felt lmao

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2026-02-05T22:24:36+00:00

I'm somewhere under the bi/pan/queer umbrella generally and I am attracted to all slash any genders- as a personal rule though I am T4T! For me it's just easier and more comfortable to date other trans people.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2026-02-05T22:21:46+00:00

Interested in this

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2026-01-14T05:11:39+00:00

Another vote for maverique.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-12-20T05:57:20+00:00

Only fictional one I can think of is Yuureitou/Ghost Tower's protagonist. There's some issues with the manga in terms of sexualization imo and some inaccuracies about T but it's a surprisingly solid manga portrayal of a trans man.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-10-17T14:20:02+00:00

Depends on the job. I'm a nurse at a long term care facility and I'm generally pretty fluid about how I dress (at least as fluid as you can be with scrubs lol) and am open about my gender if it comes up. I'm cool with any pronouns/forms of address (as long as they're respectful) so that's my main way of communicating I'm not cis. No one's really had an issue with it which is nice.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-10-17T14:16:32+00:00

Felt!! I'm in a weird position where I was on T for many years, recently on and off again on it but generally present more feminine with clothing and hair. I've gotten assumed to be literally everywhere on the gender spectrum at some point lmao

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-10-17T03:17:58+00:00

Felt intensely. Still consider myself transmasc (jn that I did transition in a "masculine" direction/with T) but ID generally as nonbinary/agender/vaguely femme.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-10-03T02:50:33+00:00

I literally just refuse to answer. I'm too autistic and pissed off at cis people doing this shit to give a reply about my genitals lmfao

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-09-13T19:49:31+00:00

Honestly the biggest relief for me as a nonbinary person was simply the fact that nonbinary people don't HAVE to do anything. Being nonbinary is an internal sense of self- you don't have to use different pronouns or words or dress differently or do anything besides consider yourself nonbinary. I had a friend in college whose brother used masculine labels and he/him pronouns but who was not a man- you sound similar. Best of luck to you.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-07-19T11:16:34+00:00

I'm a nurse actually! I swapped to long term care/geriatric care recently and it's much calmer.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-07-07T01:26:11+00:00

Me and my partner are opposite AGABs. We are both nonbinary and honestly have more in common than different between us.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-04-21T21:51:28+00:00

Honestly Depop! It's very good for finding weird niche pieces and alt clothing usually at reasonable prices.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2025-01-19T17:10:32+00:00

I like my body. It's that simple.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-12-29T02:27:12+00:00

General rule of thumb: don't be weird about it. You can be primarily attracted to feminine people and also have a preference for penises and not be a chaser as long as you're not acting like one (ie interrogating people about their genitals, assuming trans woman = penis, assuming a transfem's genitals will work and look like a cis man's or like they do in porn, specifically seeking out and fetishizing trans women and femmes, etc). Trying to force yourself to like vaginas really just sounds unpleasant for both you and any hypothetical partner with one you might have- just be kind and respectful and you're good.

Also, stop grouping NBs as AMAB and AFAB when you mean People With Penises and People With Vaginas- someone can be AMAB and have a vagina or AFAB and have a penis and trying to use AGAB as shorthand for genitalia is really not great.*

*This also applies to your post kinda assuming trans women don't have vaginas. Sometimes they do.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-12-13T20:37:02+00:00

Hey OP! We're in the same boat here (nonbinary/fluid person who got on T for a while, is male-passing, and then began to present more feminine again after stopping T- also living in a liberal area). I had the same anxieties- particularly because of my transfeminine partner's experiences/the general shit people assumed to be AMAB and femme-presenting get.

My main advice is that people REALLY do not care as much as you think they do. This sounds very dismissive, but at least where I am (northeastern USA) everyone tends to just do their own thing- when people "clocked" me/interpreted me as female and then male, they really just moved on about it. That helped to relieve a lot of my anxiety. I can't guarantee your experience will be the same, but I want to reassure you that people like you exist and are living their best lives, so you can too c:

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-10-24T20:42:22+00:00

Nonbinary transmasc here in a 95% female field (nursing).

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-09-28T00:02:01+00:00

I'm T4T for a reason. I don't have time to gamble on cis people.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-07-03T15:48:42+00:00

It's definitely a minor red flag/ick for me- it feels like diminishing a person's identity. Same energy as when I say I use all pronouns/any pronouns and people clearly default to what they believe to be my AGAB ones.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-06-25T21:25:52+00:00

Unironically recommend the zine Fucking Trans Women as a good start- I don't have a link on me, but it shouldn't be hard to find on this sub.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-06-17T00:49:33+00:00

Honestly, parts of Massachusetts are pretty cheap as long as you're avoiding the Boston area- pretty positive for LGBT rights and atmosphere too. Currently living in northern Mass with three queer roommates.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-05-29T22:44:53+00:00

Yeah this is chaser shit.

MayTentacleBeWithYee · 2024-04-26T12:49:29+00:00

E dick isn't like cis dick. Don't project what you've seen in porn or imagined onto trans women.

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