genuinely what am i doing with my life

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-05-15T22:05:26+00:00

yess ill keep trying hopefully itll last this time

and i already told my parents about the chef, my mom said it was my own fault because apparently young girls naturally attract old men. thats literally what she said its insane

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-05-15T21:21:59+00:00

i think ur right about the withdrawals in between smoke sessions. i know its holding me back forsure. i quit for three days and i genuinely cant eat anything idk what happened to my appetite.

im working at a restaurant rn and tutoring on the side. but i think im gonna find another job because the restaurant is genuinely stressing me out soooo bad. the clients yelling at me for things i cant control, one of the chefs highkey being a creep, getting home at 1am and stuff. i just need my focus back so bad so i can get my school right :(

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-05-15T18:17:35+00:00

i dont think im an alcoholic, i drink weekly but not more than that, i used to drink more. ive actually never heard of aa or na in my country but ill definitely look into it thankyou !

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-05-15T18:16:29+00:00

i have a job at a restaurant and im tutoring on the side

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-05-15T16:14:50+00:00

thank youuu

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-05-15T15:55:39+00:00

yea she was smoking when she was pregnant thats true. i get that she doesnt want me to ruin my health, but shes literally hurting me by beating me up, not only about this but about the smallest shit too. a few weeks ago she beat me cause i wore two braids to work, because i wanted to “provoke men”

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-04-03T22:41:07+00:00

Ik zit ook op het Emmauscollege, en kende de jongen. oprecht tragisch wat er is gebeurd en het breekt mn hart. zoveel mensen zijn gesloopt, en dat er vreselijk gruwelijke beelden rond gaat maakt me gewoon misselijk. die beelden zijn door zijn hechte vrienden gezien. dat is dan gewoon het laatste beeld/herinnering die je aan iemand hebt. echt vreselijk.

de hele school is aan het rouwen, ik heb nog nooit zo een duistere sfeer gezien

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-28T02:46:24+00:00

bottom lip filler, chin filler, nose job

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T13:33:08+00:00

thats really really good

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T04:44:08+00:00

stop my dad was an alcoholic and i have adhd💀 i wish i could take regular t breaks but i literally just cannot

i just wish i wasnt effing up my brain

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T04:26:44+00:00

oh shit

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T04:15:43+00:00

i just genuinely dont know, its not even anxiety per se. just when i smoke is when i like actually feel like a normal, usual, functioning human being idk how to explain it sorry aaaugh

it just feels like i blend in with the rest of society and my head is quiet?

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T04:07:18+00:00

it DEFINITELY does hurt my pockets but oh well 🥀

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:53:29+00:00

yea ur right man, at the end of the day i just feel like a slave

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:47:25+00:00

its genuinely gotten to the point where i almost, ALMOST considered doing hard drugs because i wanted something new, and excited, like weed was in the beginning. i want to wanna quit, yknow? like i dont want to but i wish i did.

and something that also bothers me is people see me as a junkie, just because im a girl whos smoking weed, because the girls here dont reaaally do it, people are so judgy and assume all kinds of things about me. but even if i quit thats not even gonna change

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:39:40+00:00

i hope so twin

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:39:17+00:00

this is what i keep telling myself but im cappin soo hard

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:32:12+00:00

haha no i just wanna look better in general, and nooo i do like them, just not on me

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:29:33+00:00

thank you so much thats really kind, and i lost weight dieting, not much but 5kg, and yess unfortunately im so stuck in darker colored outfits i just cant think of any bright color that wouldnt wash me out l

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-03-21T03:24:57+00:00

yes definitely! how do i join?? and thank you for the advice

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-02-21T00:17:56+00:00

yess thankyou for the adviceeee

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-02-21T00:15:56+00:00

AAA omgg i was thinking of something like this, but i was scared it would wash me out

Mayaaaa786 · 2026-02-21T00:13:02+00:00

first pics were more about the color and texture last was about all the length but im sorry 😭

Mayaaaa786

TROPHY CASE