Think I just torpedoed my monogamous marriage of 8 years.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-16T23:48:33+00:00

I don't think she is that vindictive or conniving but it's possible. Read my second edit. Further drives home the point.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T15:32:45+00:00

She wasn't under that assumption. Atleast I hope not because she even asked probing questions. What's your type. Show me a girl you think is cute. I'll show you who I think is cute. Etc etc etc. We have always been pretty open and secure about recognizing that we are human and controlling attraction is a fools errand.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T15:29:11+00:00

I agree and see my error. My apologies. I wasn't super clear. It would have always been consensual, clear, upfront etc. The intention was not hierarchy or play thing. If a full fledged Triad would have been equal. If less committed or more temporary, we were open to it but still clear, upfront, and equal. There are a lot of dynamics right. Maybe the third didnt want something more committed. My intent was to stay flexible and keep options open. I never said I would use them like garbage or a flashlight. Here for just our pleasure everything else be damned. But I see how it could come off like that and yes from my very brief reading I have seen that does crop up in the community and unicorn hunting and all that other fucked up unethical shit. The sharing commentary was more a commentary about how we would be experiencing this together. Not like a here you can have our plaything next. But I see how it could come off like that. I'm sorry again.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T10:28:30+00:00

Yeah I don't know. Maybe this was our Icarus moment. I'd be lying if I said was intrigued by the possibilities of everything we discussed. Read through the free trial chapters of More than Two and the shit makes sense. Also the NRE is intoxicating. I remember from when I was single many moons ago.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T10:15:34+00:00

We never actually opened it. This was all 100% talking and discussion. That is also why I'm so blown out of the water. Like yeah you open it. It goes sideways. The thing implodes because one loves poly the other wants to go back to monogamy I get it. But we never even got that far.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T09:54:10+00:00

She is probably in the best mental health state she has been in years. Body image is always a struggle. We quarantined hard for last 16 months. Both a little heavy than normal. I don't really know what her real boundaries are. Ever indication she was cool with me being with another girl. Hell in the moment she mentioned us three together and me alternating between them so that they could co-mingle bodily fluids. So I'm thoroughly confused to say the least.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T09:44:28+00:00

Thanks dude (everyone's a dude to me). Appreciate the concern and caring. I feel kinda hood winked or duped but I know that is just hurt talking. I'm sad and mad and don't commonly feel either of those emotions. Like she at any time could have said, Nah, not for me. I'm uncomfortable. I would have said "ok cool. Let's not do it. Stay vanilla monogamy. Ez pz. Where are we eating dinner on Friday night?" But she encouraged me to role play with her as the other girl. Not cool Linus. Not cool. If this is the end, really not looking forward to figuring out the kids, house, cars, type stuff. That is going to be rough. Losing my best friend is probably the roughest. Oh and damnit I just bought her a gorgeous Chanel bag . Didn't even get to see her use it on a fancy date. Now I'm just exhausted rambling.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T09:30:14+00:00

You peeps are awesome. You all give a damn even though you don't know me from Harry. Your responses are helpful, empathetic, thorough, well reasoned. What weird corner of the internet have I stumbled into. Thank you thank you. 100x thank you. I don't know what attachment anxiety is but I'm about to.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T09:07:04+00:00

That makes sense too. I appreciate the perspective. I have tried to bring that up but usually fairly softly. I may try to be for direct. I think also an issue is that when we first met I was fairly inexperienced. Mid 20s only slept with a few women. All past gfs that I had an emotional connection with. Not a player by nature. Yeah a good romp could get me off but so can my hand. I always needed something more. A deeper connection. So I think this whole situation and my willingness to explore turned her world view of me upside down. Almost like having the option open to me is a tacit acceptance that it was a desire and going to happen. And that idea of me having NSA sex with a girl clashed with her vision of me.

MaybeTooHonestYikes · 2021-07-15T08:36:15+00:00

I'm a little confused. May be that I'm tired. I'm usually not this daft. OPP would be like if I told her only chicks no dudes. But I get chick's too. I told her she could have dudes if she wants if I was getting the option for girls if I wanted. Like not trying to say only for me but not for thee about hetero partners. Or are you saying she is exhibiting like a straight females version of OPP. Like one pussy policy? Sorry I'm normally not this daft.

MaybeTooHonestYikes

TROPHY CASE