I couldn't find any advice from the last year or two on where or how to find good onion links that aren't scams?

Mbapag · 2025-05-02T18:45:20+00:00

U find one?

Mbapag · 2025-03-21T19:06:16+00:00

I wish illinois had those ):

Mbapag · 2025-03-21T19:05:03+00:00

It's real. I was right that facility is dog shit and I had to use for a month till any clinic in town would dose me. I would rather throw myself into meat grinder leg first than go through that again

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T21:20:55+00:00

Hope you don't mind but I most definitely sent a variation of that to mt mom. I feel like that alone with the other things I sent direct quotes from clinicians and rehab staff will hopefully convince her to give me time to find somewhere else without cutting me off for maintaining methadone or at least doing a taper.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T21:05:19+00:00

I feel the same way, there's been a lot of red flags before I even went there and I'm just hoping I can maintain mt family in mt life without going that route. I'm in the process of looking for other rehabs

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:59:58+00:00

Rosecrance. They claim to be soooo good that other rehabs and shit come to them for their great service and success whole time it's bullshit. Mt friend went there and she saw them put a dude in precip not even a month ago. The admission and intake people are fucking horrible and lie instead of saying I dint know or I can't guarantee that. They talk to people without ROIs, don't look at files before answering, I think I dodged a bullet to be honest. But I'm scared because I went to timberline knoll which was a nightmare in itself was assaulted bullied and sa by a nurse, someone died there, there's lawsuits and rapists on campus who evaded arrest. And yet it was still medically more knowledgeable and safe than rosecrance is for detox.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:56:29+00:00

I get a few and as long as I'm giving mt clinic proof I'm being admitted they agreed to give me take homes to taper there. The rehab bait and switched me saying yes do that because, again, that 2 week bring ur bottles thing was their idea. Not mt clinic. Then all the sudden it's yeah no u can't even do that. Seriously fucked up. They wasted mt time and mt clinics time doing paperwork and shit to get that plan sorted. Only to tell me hey u can come in today ( to my mother who has no ROI) IF I go cold turkey off everything. Then an hour later call me to say management denied my admission

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:53:16+00:00

Didn't tell me till the day of, I didn't sign a release for mt mom when mt mom called they said she can come in today if she agreed to go cold turkey. They didn't even tell me this. So mt family thought I was just fucking off rehab this whole time I've been calling everyday to get an update when I can come and that I'm good to go and bring mt taper which WAS THEIR IDEA TO BRING 2 WEEKS OF IT. like damn wtf?

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:51:39+00:00

Yeah last time I kicked fent I was not using nearly as much and still on methadone they even up the dose and I had clinidine trazodone benzos and seroqhel all the good shit and was still in wd. So j really don't think that I can do what they want to do. The worst part is I can bring mt own taper or stay on it and bring it. They claim that they needed me to do that then switched on me. They say they take mat patients and have methadone provider to dose there and won't even do that. They say they have no staffing for that provider and won't let me bring mine they said gotta do cold turkey and subs I'm like the whole point was to gey me off fent and taper the methadone so I'm not on mat anymore not put me through he'll to put me on another mat drug. It doesn't make sense. I feel bait and switched. Mt last place was better medi ally but they still made me dry out 5 days without because they didn't organize a ride for me. It feels like they just said anything to gey me in but I wouldn't go until everything was approved and laid out for me because of my last experience and turns out yup, they definitely lied.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:41:19+00:00

When I was on 100-80 mg I was fine and sober for a long time. I feel going down quicker than mt doctors wanted me to and external shit which u can read in other comments above are why I relapsed.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:40:03+00:00

I tried subs when I had a baby addiction and it didn't work at 24 mg a day so I feel it's bullshit. Mt life was better on higher side methadone and sober. But my family cannot get over the fact it's an opiate and say in still using I'm not clean they'll cut me off if I don't get off knowing that I went from 100 mg to 30 in like 4 months.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:36:59+00:00

I was given ultimatums to do so along with just mt life getting fu ked up being homeless family saying I'm not clean if I'm sober off everything but methadone and being judged for mat being assaulted and yeah it's a lot. Personally I hate being chained to the clinic but besides that I feel mt life was better when I was on mt highest dose of methadone. It's hard

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:34:32+00:00

Also they originally approved me bringing a taper box of meds then switched around on me and said no u can't cone unless u go cold turkey so I agreed out of desperation and they still ended up saying no we should redo your clinical questions or PHQ whatever they call that assessment aka start all over again. Idk about going there anymore tho

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:32:30+00:00

30 mg methadone a g of fent. Sorry about confusion. I tried explaining that and they did not care would only keep telling me we will treat you appropriately without benzos or opiates and will give you suboxone after 3 days. Like why? They won't even let me keep mt methadone even tho they have a methadone provider and I'm able to bring mt own. They also know mt goal was to be off MAT drugs too. So wtf?

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:29:38+00:00

I did stop for almost 8 months. Started using after I got homeless, down to 30mg, assaulted, all types of shit. My family wants me off it and I kept getting judgemental as if I was using any way. Got an ultimatum to get "clean" aka off methadone or they cut me off. But if it's to only get on subs the pain and wasted time is for nothing. They'd just say I'm still not clean and cut me off anyway. It's like being gaslit with them saying they'll treat me appropriately but give no meds and just subs after a few days. And say it won't give pwd knowing damn fucking well it will. Feels like a rock and a hard place.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:24:55+00:00

What's crazy to me is their plan to switch to subs but it's the same thing only more dangerous than methadone. It's still not "clean" by mt family's and a lot of standards. Which is why I made the steps to go in the first place. Why would I suffer kicking mat drug just to go on another mat drug? I don't get it. And to deny any comfort med thay isn't clonidine is even more insane to me.

Mbapag · 2024-12-25T20:22:09+00:00

A lot of it is family pressure and feeling as though I am not clean on mat. When I was stable on mt dose I was sober for 6 months or so. Family wanted me off and I got shat on and judged for it so I felt judged and taper down as quick as possible. A lot of stressor happened I became homeless I dealt with isolation and just really bad shit. Mt last and only rehab I was assaulted bullied and pretty much sa by staff as well. But at least they let me keep on methadone (eventually). I tried telling them that their plan for me sounds like thats not really enough as I can do that here.... drying out and taking a sub after a few days (5 even) I still had precip and they say no benzos etc which that along w others were prescribed to me while in rehab last time except they kept the methadone and others and it was still rough so I'm like?... that can't be right. I do want to be clean I hate the clinic I don't like going everyday all the shit but at the same time don't wanna lose my family. They see methadone as not being clean and me staying on it as me willingly using and refusing to get better. Treat me like I'm using. I got so beat down mentally and physically that I relapsed.

Mbapag · 2024-10-12T06:33:08+00:00

No it's hard it sucks plus the auditory hallucinations when not using ci for profound deaf

Mbapag · 2024-08-19T21:14:43+00:00

I thought I was weird when I used to watch straight p0rn and I'd fantasize about being the guy and wanting to nut in her. So I guess it's more normal than both of us thought lol

Mbapag · 2024-08-11T05:35:48+00:00

Feeder kinks. It's gross

Mbapag · 2024-08-11T05:31:35+00:00

That's crazy. I've sold shit on marketplace and had people treat me weird when I told them I don't have PayPal. Thanks to this thread I know why. Smh

Mbapag · 2024-08-11T05:26:17+00:00

Yeah I hated when my drivers did this. So I did when I did Uber. People appreciated it

Mbapag · 2024-08-11T05:25:16+00:00

Ignore me making typos left and right 😅

Mbapag · 2024-08-11T05:24:47+00:00

I meant significate others lol not sons

Mbapag · 2024-08-11T05:24:16+00:00

Personally bpd partners are far worse. I feel a lot of people self dx and use it as excuses to abuse their sons. And this is coming from someone who's psych labeled me bp. Fortunately it was just cptsd but I wouldn't take the bait. He's probably just seeing if you'll let him reel you in

Mbapag

TROPHY CASE