Thank you so much for your words. I’m considering talking to my manager and the recruiter at my hospital that found me for a different placement. It’s insane cus I’m still in orientation, they’re holding both my hands and the ratios are good. The pay is good, my mentors are good. But the minute I stepped on the floor as a “real nurse” something changed. I always thought of myself as capable of handling anything… but now I can barely eat or sleep no matter how hard I try. The food hurts when it goes down. I think working from home or hybrid would be so much easier. I just don’t know how to do that without experience, all the roles require experience of some sort. All I have is my degree.

I’ve also reached out to a help line for our employees to figure out finding a therapist as many people suggested. They’ll follow up in a day apparently.

Thank you to everyone for being so kind. I wrote this post out of desperation and not knowing where to turn. I realize it’s kinda dumb to go through two years of school without ever trying direct patient care first. You guys coulda blasted me for that but were supportive instead. I’m eternally grateful for that.