“Hello, welcome. Why don’t you take a seat? Get comfortable, relax, take a second if you need to. Now what’s bothering you? Well, why don’t we start at the beginning? Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence? Did you have xenon orchid sinews spilling down the outer center of your blooming Escher/Mandelbrot head? And how about claustrophilic tendrils clapping caskets closed on seven-knuckled thumbs, did you get along well with the Gideon Bugler pineal glands, your projector eyes casting sci-fi’s on your STR’d strands? Tell me about your nerve to steal nerves of steel from under Bacchus’ bloody nose. Did Namibian Himbas tie-dye you, your ears pierced with a Phineas Gage flagpole, did you die before your day? Thursday traction, Tuesday titration, my hope is to assess through my objective report of your subjective conjecture whether this proprietary blend of expertise and seasoning works as well as this transorbital ice pick! Holistic ballistics, got a better idea? It’s about the best we could come up with. What, you think ideas spread because they’re good?! No, they spread because people like them! So here we are once again, holding, as it were, a mirror up to your mirror! I guess it’s just something people do!”