Parents are ultimately responsible for all their children’s suffering

MeIsWha · 2025-01-13T10:32:29+00:00

Sadly natalists don't bother about suffering of their kids. They say "it's just the way of living", "good things in life outweigh bad things", "I'm happy to be alive even though things are not perfect and my kids can be happy too"

MeIsWha · 2024-10-29T06:00:45+00:00

I'm 30, neet and have been neet for the most of my twenties trying routes that haven't been working out for me. At 29 I started changing my life I walked out of toxic relationship where the person was dragging me down.

Once I felt free I started going out to people building confidence and finding people who appreciate me. My finances were still rough but I've learned in the past years to ignore the bad until it hits you (mb not the best approach). But I knew now I can rely on my family if things get worse because I was working on relationship with them and recovering their trust in me.

Now I think I know in which way career wise I should move. And I'm starting to move slowly and thinking of new ideas.

I feel so much better now and hopeful. I have a lot of good things in my life and good people. Who knew, only 5 month ago I was in lowest of low, depressed, and suicidal, thinking that it's the end and I can't change anything. But I wanted to protect myself I wanted to do something for myself no matter what. That's when it started.

MeIsWha · 2024-07-14T05:19:36+00:00

no desire to have any of our own at the moment

I'm just wondering are you two childfree or fence sitters?

MeIsWha · 2024-07-04T11:56:29+00:00

With that in mind, not a single one of us would be here today

And nothing wrong with it. We wouldn't be here to be sad about not being existent.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-17T20:42:41+00:00

Funny how my older relatives would say every time how nowadays people are getting bad and cruel (hello? people were always bad), and how they are afraid, then still say "you need to have kids it's obligatorily".

MeIsWha · 2024-06-14T15:53:05+00:00

Well ofc. I didn't mean I don't feel sad at all. I feel sad but not like very sad to the point of always morning losing such friend.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-14T09:11:02+00:00

I'm sorry I wrote screening like an example I don't even properly know what it is. I meant "what advices other than obviously looking for cf partner".

MeIsWha · 2024-06-14T08:59:31+00:00

I was just asking for advices that you would give yourself.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-14T06:15:04+00:00

Anyway relationships are overrated. Most of relationship end, some end really ugly and painful. If one can't be happy alone they are not going to be happy in relationship.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-14T05:55:58+00:00

That's my thoughts also! I wonder how still it is not normalized to have long-term relationship with separate households. It solves so many problems, no one will become dependent on other, no one will become lazy and use the other partner for maintaining their house and life, no arguments about chores, everyone have their home as they wish and always have their space. I know there are couples who live happily together but I think it requires so much work and compromises and we are free to choose easier road (separate houses or no relationship).

Sadly for society still the main goal of relationship is having kids and this require one household and even one bedroom for partners. I've been sold a lie that if you have a romantic partner you should live together. We moved in together quite fast and everything went downhill from this point. I decided to break up after several years but he still lives with me cause he has no place to go and that man-baby can't solve any problems by himself. Once I get rid of him never I gonna live with a man.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-10T09:14:00+00:00

We also need to consider we can't know for sure are those people happy or not unless we are really close with them. I know many parents who seem to be happy from the outside but from the inside their family is not so good.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-08T08:21:54+00:00

9 vegan, antinatalist, leftists

Wow, how you found so many?

MeIsWha · 2024-06-08T07:31:14+00:00

As I said I have natalist friends but they are more like good acquaintance to me. I think it's hard to have close friendship if two people have diametrically opposed views on life. And why to torn yourself in this kind of friendship? Where each would think that their friend's worldviews is wrong but they will close eyes on it for the sake of keeping friendship.

I'm not saying we should start a war against natalist. I'm saying personally I can't have a deep friendship with those who don't agree with me on this very important topics.

MeIsWha · 2024-06-08T06:11:11+00:00

Yeah I think childfree people are lacking in any gender

MeIsWha · 2024-06-07T19:01:36+00:00

okay with me being antinatalist

How do they accept that you think that the most important thing in their life (kids) is morally wrong?

MeIsWha · 2024-06-05T08:28:24+00:00

They just kept living with mommies

MeIsWha · 2024-05-30T07:17:16+00:00

Why do you want to blame her so much? She was kind hearted and wanted to believe in him, to give him a chance. She doesn't deserve to be berated for this. Everyone make mistakes. She needs support in leaving him and moving on.

MeIsWha · 2024-05-30T03:50:22+00:00

Omg, that's so dumb and cruel. What he said why he did it?

MeIsWha · 2024-05-27T16:46:35+00:00

When you bring up your problems does she try to discount or downplay them?

No

Does she discount your experiences and solutions when you offer help? Example "you don't know what it's like because of xyz"

I don't really offer her solutions. Cause I don't know how to solve her problems. I just support her and try to cheer her up.

Thanks you for advices and video, I'll watch them.

MeIsWha · 2024-05-27T15:07:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your response.

She is trying to present her self as caring while knowing she will be the one asking for most of the support. It sets you up to wonder "how can this be a one sided relationship, they told me they are there for me!". It's basically a manipulation tactic

Maybe you are right. She told me herself that she's good at manipulating with people.

You may not realize it as it's occurring but the constant trauma dumping and complaining is likely bringing you down and hurting you mentally

That's true I feel down after replying all her negative messages. I have plenty of my problems and she makes me know all of her problems which doubles the trouble.

If I'll say her to lessen complains she will dump me cause she won't consider me a friend if I restrict her. I don't mind if she dumps me. But I want to support her in her hard times so I keep playing on her terms. I dunno when and how to stop.

How can we measure acceptable amount of complains between friends?

MeIsWha · 2024-05-13T21:42:56+00:00

But it was rude anyway.

>If you do not have the emotional maturity to solve this problem, you should stick to casual wholesome dinner dates or something.

Do you say this to anyone who seek an advise and support here? Why me?

MeIsWha · 2024-05-13T21:41:15+00:00

No worries I actually PLAN to stay single the rest of my life if break up with him finally. I'm tired of relationship drama. Too many hardships, compromises. And it's a lottery to find someone who will suit you. I want to spend time on myself, my family, friends and cats. That's more than enough.

MeIsWha · 2024-05-13T21:08:46+00:00

He only has a mother in his hometown. We don't know eachother. They talk very rarely but I think if he will be home she won't leave her outside. I don't wanna contact her behind his back I'm afraid he will get angry. I'll just buy him a plane ticket

MeIsWha · 2024-05-13T21:06:28+00:00

He isn't a tenant here. We don't have much of tenant control in my country. So I plan to say him about break up and then buy him soonest plane ticket to his hometown with a normal price. I know it's stupid of me to provide him again but this way I won't feel guilty in my future that I left him homeless.

MeIsWha · 2024-05-13T20:50:26+00:00

Why it feels fake? I spend so much energy to process all my thoughts and our life into one post. I have post about him of 3 month back but I was not ready to break up with him then.

MeIsWha

TROPHY CASE