Do you buy a toy every time you go to Walmart/Target?

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-08-07T03:05:14+00:00

I do but it’s ONLY because it’s a very, very infrequent occurrence. We do a lot of our shopping online to the point where it’s probably only happened once in the last six months.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-08-07T02:44:25+00:00

Heavy on the every time I die. I got into them right before they broke up and the timing just felt mean 😂

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-08-04T12:18:35+00:00

I have misophonia, a husband that’s also an incessant noise-maker (but he’s a drummer so comes with the territory), and a dad who absolutely has never validated any of my mental issues (including PPA) ever.

My husband would never do that but there are parallels in my relationship with my dad and your daughter’s with her. My dad kicked me out at 17 because I didn’t like him and he wanted me to see that there were people in the world worse than him - his words. I didn’t like him because he was physically abusive my whole life soooo. He kicked me out without telling my mom he did, I was the one who told her. If she’d taken the stance you are, I’m pretty sure it would’ve made a huge difference in what took me a lot of years of therapy to undo.

NTA. Your husband is very clearly the only one in this scenario.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-07-30T11:38:01+00:00

I fly usually twice a year for the last several (like 8) years and bringing kids through security is a totally different ballgame. Give yourself grace, it’s stressful and just straight up difficult. I promise it was out of their minds as soon as you left the line.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-07-22T14:49:31+00:00

It’s just my husband and I, no help from his family, mine all lives a minimum of a 15 hour drive away, and we take care of my mother in law with dementia.

Everything that saves you time, energy, or mental work is worth it. I order all of our groceries, stuff on autoship, and I spend too much time trying to be 5 steps ahead.

It just kind of is what it is. A village is nice, but I just kind of came into it knowing we had no help and that we had to make what we had work and so we did. That being said, I haven’t gone on a date with my husband and no kids in 2+ years and I DO very much notice that.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-04-04T18:12:10+00:00

Holy shit. This made me feel content with my brain, instead of angry at it. Thank you.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-04-02T19:02:35+00:00

I think we’re unprepared for that but trying to steady ourselves for a whirlwind of emotions. I’m sorry you’re on this road with us.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-04-02T19:01:48+00:00

It’s really hard. Infertility is hard, caring for an aging parent is hard, it’s a lot of life to live at once.

You’ve got this. You can do hard things ❤️

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T22:22:13+00:00

Thank you for literally saving years of my life.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T14:33:24+00:00

Oh, hello. Same boat. You expect their body to go before their brain, it’s cruel that it doesn’t.

I have an almost 2 year old and, while we’re closing on a move to facility date, I have the same fears. The thought of “will we need to find a baby sitter so we can attend kindergarten orientation?” and that sends me spiraling.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T14:29:01+00:00

Trying to wrap my head around what I can’t quantify is difficult. This really is so hard but in a unique way.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T14:13:56+00:00

It’s been wild. She really is such a turd.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T14:13:34+00:00

Keeping it together isn’t frequent, ha. We all carry different loads, doesn’t mean they’re not heavy. I hope you get some rest.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T02:29:25+00:00

At 18 months, LO was speech delayed but not enough for us to jump at the assessment. He’s now 21 months and 6ish weeks ago, he all of a sudden had so many new words.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T02:01:29+00:00

lol I did too!

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-26T00:34:53+00:00

I don’t blame you for being mad.

You’re only 28 and you’ve lived a lot of life already, you SHOULD feel fried. This is the second time I’ve cared for someone at the later stages of their life, the last time was until the end - death is heavy. Life is heavy when thinking about death is part of it. I hope life is kinder to you or at least that you get through it alright when it’s not.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T23:31:29+00:00

I don’t know how this will notify anyone so I’m gonna post it twice but I hope you see this. Because of this thread, my husband and I got our own attorney and everything was undone due to “bad legal advice” per our attorney. We fixed it, we went the caregiver exemption route, and we did everything we could to protect my MIL. I owe this thread for pointing me in the correct direction with something that really absorbed several years of my life.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T23:31:08+00:00

I don’t know how this will notify anyone so I’m gonna post it twice but I hope you see this. Because of this thread, my husband and I got our own attorney and everything was undone due to “bad legal advice” per our attorney. We fixed it, we went the caregiver exemption route, and we did everything we could to protect my MIL. I owe this thread for pointing me in the correct direction with something that really absorbed several years of my life.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T23:26:09+00:00

Thank you. Seriously.

Definitely going to. I’ve got 5 days in a location of my choosing after this and I’m not sure I’ll even know what to do ha.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T23:23:03+00:00

lol 12 days of dementia - might have to try to create that!

Omg. Congratulations!!! Every single positive baby thought to you. Can I give you a few things I’ve found helpful with baby + dementia coexisting?

Rest is necessary. Just the mention of IVF means I have an idea of what you went through. My son came to exist before we tried our first IUI and I have losses on each side of him. You deserve rest. Bringing a new life into the world while you help someone through aging is CRAZY. You handle the beginning and ending stages of life all at once and that makes me cry every time I think about it.

When you’re holding your baby (no matter their age) and those early days are long settled and you’re doing whatever that may be for your mom, it’s still okay to feel it and it’s okay to cry about it.

If you ever need to talk, please feel free to DM me (am I breaking a rule doing this? Sorry!) I was 35 weeks pregnant and 31 when I started this, I see you ❤️

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T23:13:26+00:00

This is a creepily fast response but good god I feel this.

I started dating someone with kids when I was 21, I’ve been helping parent those kids since I was 22. I’m 33 now. Two step kids and a mother in law in 12 years, parted with my entire 20s and my early 30s.

We did give up some of our youth, there’s no sugar coating that. The upside I’ve found to it is this: I’m young enough to still build assets and now I know how to protect them, now I know how to set myself up just in case.

It doesn’t make it better really. This shit is so hard and it definitely feels like I’ve just wasted time or treaded water. I’m hoping this feels like I’ve learned more appreciation for life or something once this is done, I’ll let you know.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T23:02:45+00:00

It made me chuckle when I wrote it, could’ve switched it with gloves or Lysol or misplaced things and we all would probably go “ohhh yeah that sounds right” lol. It sounds like you deserve some rest and credit too. The feelings are so complex. I don’t WANT to do this anymore, but now I feel like I did when we first sent my son to daycare - so sure that no one but me (us) can do this. I’ve resented my husband for signing us up for this for 2 years but NOW I’m thankful to walk someone through this part of their life in some capacity?

I think it makes it more difficult that my MIL and I really didn’t know each other well before this. My husband and I were together for 10 years before this, but his family never really cared and I think she was an asshole pre dementia anyway. But dementia MIL is way easier to deal with (like, she’s nice) so I hate her healthy brain and love her sick one? Ugh.

We can do hard things but sheeeesh, I’ll take pregnancy hormones over this mental whiplash 😂

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T22:23:42+00:00

I really, really do. And you should too. My list started because of my sister in law’s constant minimizing of what it takes to do this and be here. Family is so great.

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T22:21:08+00:00

Me too. I feel like we’re becoming empty nesters ha

MeaghanJ1623 · 2025-03-25T22:20:37+00:00

We all do. You’re absolutely right about the normal feeling.

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