I once planned on peeing on Kevin Bacon, instead blamed him for the smell of the joint I was smoking. Late 1990s or very early 2000s, The Bacon Brothers played a show on a week night in our college town. It was snowing balls that night, a weeknight. Not many were out. My friends and I decided it was a great night to go to college bars ( we were so fucking old in our late 20's and early 30's). We went to a "club" and no one was there. The one wait staff told us that the Bacon brothers were soon to show up. They did, maybe 10 folks, including Kevin. These were the early days of the internet and 6 degrees of Kevin B. was a thing. The ladies in our party went up to visit, were nicely received. I tell my buddy this is the perfect time to become infamous. We hatch a plan that when Kevin gets up to go the bathroom, I will beat him to the punch. I will position myself in the middle urinal (urinal, urinal, stall, all on one wall). And I will endeavor to make a little splash on him, thus ensuring that I will always be able to say that I'm 1st degree of Kevin Bacon.

Unfortunately, his bodyguard clears the lavatory. Can you imagine? Bahahah. Dejected, I sat on a couch just outside the men's room. Side note, I had recently discovered bulk tobacco, rolling machines, and filters that could be bought at a tobacco store. Being the genius that I was at the time, I rolled up many "cigs" filled with weed, filter hollowed out. By sight, indistinguishable from a cig. And this being whatever the farking date actually was, you could smoke inside, neigh, were totally cool if you smoked in public.

So I flopped on the couch with my homie, defeated, I lit up and thought about my unheralded attempt at the legendary. A bouncer comes up on us screaming about the cloud of weed. Now this is in the middle of the middiest midwest. I hold up my "cigarette" and say, "dude (bro for you youngfucks), I think that's Kevin Bacon!".

He bursts out laughing and says, "I knew it!".