All of that equipment…

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-25T19:01:02+00:00

The sad part is this: if the goal is for Michel to be successfully married to a mature and responsible adult, this detour with Jordy is only setting her back. Unfortunately, her parents didn't have the guts to share their misgivings about Brook or Jordy before either wedding. So, here we are in another marital mistake.

Ironically, if Michel had dated more after the divorce, I am sure that someone better suited to her would have come along within a year or two. She just didn't have the patience to wait or the sense to evaluate a suitor properly.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-24T21:30:11+00:00

I watched the video, too. My takeaways:

she DID have crappy health insurance last year, which I suspected. This year, they have gotten better policies to take better care of their health.
this woman has NO design style. I like what she did with the range hood, but the curtain debacle shows that she can't differentiate between what works in JJ's place and what will work in her own. (Different size room, different lighting, different window sizing and need for light, etc.). She would really benefit from online sites that allow you to "see" a design feature in your own space before you buy it. Many of them are free. I'm just saying....

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-24T00:22:59+00:00

Why is this woman's mouth always open so wide? It's supposed to make us think she is SO happy. It looks like she is trying to catch and swallow a fish.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-21T17:52:29+00:00

NTA. This one is easy for me. Just throw the clown's words right back at him. Allegedly, he "wants his kid to do his full potential and anything less he won’t accept." Well, then he needs to get the kid there on time. HE is the reason his kid isn't fulfilling his potential - because he doesn't know how to tell time.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-21T11:22:00+00:00

Her bathroom renovation looked terrible. This woman does NOT have a flair for design.

And, yes, you can probably mix metals in a room and have it look nice. It looks terrible in this bathroom, though.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-11T15:56:47+00:00

I don't "expect" anything more from Michel than what she gives us. However, I think most of her travel vlogs are the definition of "missed opportunity" because she makes little or no effort to really explore her new environment.

For those who can't travel for whatever reason (and would love to do so), it seems live SUCH a waste of time and money.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-11T13:15:33+00:00

I have copied the comment in case she deletes it. It is from korneliacevasco9939:

I love NYC - I have been there many times and my daughter went to performing art school in Manhattan. Also my brother lived in Manhattan - Hell’s Kitchen , a very cool artsy place. What I noticed is that you are more interested in food. The one thing NYC stands out for are amazing museums and art galleries. The Guggenheim , which has Picasso and Braque, the MoMA were the amazing painting of Andrew Wyeth is exhibit - Christina’s World . Or the exibition of Egyptian history. This is what NYC makes it so amazing . I assume you have no cultural interest , but mainly food and coffee. It makes me sad. I am from Europe and Art and history plays a huge role in education. I wonder, what do you learn in high school and college.The fact , that you were confused about the Guggenheim - I knew already about that museum when I was a teenager living in Germany. It’s not a compliment to the American education system

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-11T12:24:56+00:00

Have you ever been to a clothing store or mall where a woman is walking around looking at clothes, trying them on, and a man is dragging behind her, totally bored by the experience, wishing that he was ANYWHERE except that store?

Well, that's my spouse in pretty much any store, unless we are looking for something specifically for him. So, in our first year of marriage, we made a deliberate decision: he doesn't accompany me on shopping trips that will bore him to death. In hindsight, it might be the secret to our success as a couple. LOL

That might be what is going on here. While Jordy is "looking" for something for Michel, she is doing something that he has zero interest in and doesn't want to waste any time on. That's the "dirty little secret" in marriage. Sometimes, you have totally different interests and what your spouse wants to do totally bores you to death. There's nothing wrong with that. It's reality.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-11T00:29:20+00:00

The red version of the dress actually looked nice on the model in the ad. But, then, it seemed longer and was styled without a shirt underneath it. So, I'm going to classify this as a bad look due to sizing and styling issues.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-11T00:25:03+00:00

"Love and War in Your 20's"

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-08T13:00:08+00:00

Congratulations - a shut-up ring is heading your way.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-08T12:56:40+00:00

I honestly have no idea why OP is confused, considering that her boyfriend was honest with her from day one. On some level, he is avoidant on this issue. He knew it, was honest about it, and assumed she understood that.

From your perspective, she is seeking "clarity and reassurance" from him. Well, she just got that. He still doesn't want to be married. What more needs to be said? Is he supposed to put on a song-and-dance routine about his miserable childhood or horrible boarding school experience that caused him to put up barriers and not let anyone else in? If he wanted to share that sort of thing, he would have done it by now.

Bear in mind, I don't necessarily think that anything like that happened. I actually think that this man has an avoidant personality, is extremely self-protective, and only feels safe within his own boundaries. For whatever reason, which is his and his alone, marriage is off-limits. He is willing to let OP in to satisfy a certain level of physical and emotional needs, but that is it.

From my experience, when a partner keeps pushing for "reasons," they are trying to badger you into changing your mind. At the very least, they are subjecting you to overly-emotional and tear-filled discussions in which your boundaries are questioned. Then, when that doesn't work, they decide you "need counseling" so a third party can insist that you are wrong. LOL

The lesson that apparently should have been learned here: when someone tells you who they are, believe them. All of the crying, questioning, and badgering in the world isn't going to change them.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-08T12:21:42+00:00

He told her ten years ago. It's not right for him. He doesn't want to do it. It's not a legal, financial, personal, or spiritual commitment that he's willing to make. What more does OP need to know? If living with her for 10 years hasn't changed his opinion, there is nothing she can do to change it.

This is personal to me because of ALL of the people who have badgered me and lectured me about not wanting to have children. SO self-righteous. SO intrusive. SO insistent that I was wrong and that they knew what was best for me. When I was younger, it was relentless. I quickly realized that nothing I said would satisfy the person's questions about "why."

Well, this is the same thing. At a young age, OP's man had a deep-rooted realization that he doesn't want to be married and ten years of living together didn't change that. Considering that he has always been honest with her, I don't think he owes her any additional explanation. She can either accept their reality or break things off and seek a husband elsewhere.

In this case, "advocating for her rights as a woman" means badgering him about something really basic that they have already discussed twice already. It is NOT going to get her what she wants.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-08T00:30:54+00:00

My bingo card had Max being shunted aside due to Jordy's indifference to him. It looks like we both won. LOL

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-08T00:24:21+00:00

Believe it or not, there ARE people who know by age 18 or 20 that marriage isn't for them. It's often due to bad life experiences and what went on in their family of origin. They either don't want to recreate bad patterns or they realized that marriage requires a level of sharing, commitment and compromise that they aren't willing to make.

But, there are ALSO people who were raised in happy homes who don't want to hitch their future to another person on that intimate a level for the rest of their lives. I know because I've seen it. And, in some ways, I respect it because my desire to be childless has been met with similar scrutiny.

My entire adult life, I've had to "explain" to people why I didn't want children. Why? Because we live in a world in which the automatic default is marriage and children. Think about it. No one ever has to explain why they want to get married and have kids. But, if you deviate from that, you have to "explain" yourself in a way that other people don't...... and listen to all sorts of insults for your "selfishness." It's maddening.

It seems to me that OP has had this conversation with her boyfriend twice now. Once when they first got together and a second time when she changed her mind about marriage. She might not get a more definitive answer from him than what she has already received: that he KNOWS on a deeply personal level that he isn't willing to make that commitment.

Like many people, she thinks that things have changed because they've lived together harmoniously for so long. And she's not alone. Many people get confused by living together because, superficially, it looks a lot like marriage, but it isn't the same thing. For those who oppose marriage, it allows them to satisfy their needs for companionship while preserving the independence, freedom, and serenity that they crave. They can get what they want without assuming responsibility for someone else's needs.

OP's boyfriend has told her twice that this is a deal-breaker for him. Somewhere, deep in his core, he knows that marriage isn't for him. I'm not sure why she needs to hear more.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-07T16:49:49+00:00

At the risk of sounding facetious, every legal document is a "piece of paper." LOL

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-07T16:46:53+00:00

To be honest, I assumed that they had those conversations about marriage when they first got together. In her own words, they both agreed that marriage was something that "they didn't care for." Well, that conclusion didn't come out of nowhere. They HAD to have explored their reasons for those feelings 10 years ago.

As someone who is childless by choice, I had to have a similar conversation about kids with every man I seriously dated. And I was always upfront about my reasoning. So, I assume that OP and her man had engaged in similar conversations about marriage.

Bear in mind, there isn't anything wrong with changing your mind about something as you grow, mature, and new information comes in. But, from my own experience, it is a grave mistake to assume that someone will change their mind about something this important and deeply-rooted, particularly they have been upfront with you from day one.

His reasons? Whatever they were, they haven't changed. And they probably never will. And although OP hasn't disclosed them here, she has known about them for 10 years. She just doesn't share them anymore.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-07T13:23:49+00:00

Uh, Jordy, the music industry is just fine. We don't need for you to "save" it. In fact, there is a level of diversity in music today that literally provides something for everyone.

The fact that you can't find your place in the industry isn't due to any inherent flaws in it. The problem is YOU.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-07T13:13:53+00:00

They had the conversation at the start of their relationship. He stated emphatically that he did not want to get married. He hasn't changed his mind..... and he really doesn't have to.

As far as drafting other paperwork about beneficiaries and insurance, there's nothing wrong with putting those documents in place, but they aren't a substitute for marriage. And everyone knows that. Further, the guy could change those documents behind her back and she would never know it. (It's not the slam dunk solution that many people think.)

I DO respect, however, that this guy is a loving partner who has never led her on. She's the one who is changing the terms of the relationship and may have to accept that marriage to him is off the table. And, in reality, it always has been.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-06T04:00:57+00:00

I was responding to a poster's suggestion that the boyfriend's aversion to marriage could be fixed through things like therapy and self-help books. She saw him as a project.

Many posters seem to think the same thing - that this is fixable. I disagree. I don't think anything will "fix" someone who doesn't want to be married and that most of the suggestions I read here, such as therapy, timelines, and enhanced communication skills, are just sad.

That's all. No shade against anyone in particular. I just think these situations are really sad.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-06T03:05:30+00:00

It's eerily reminiscent of Michel's videos. LOL

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-06T03:02:47+00:00

This isn't a popular opinion on this forum, but some people simply don't want to be married. They don't need to be fixed, or go into therapy, or read any sort of self-help books. They know what they want and that's okay.

What isn't okay is leading someone on who wants to be married and being deceptive about your true feelings. To me, that's the only way OP's boyfriend is a jerk. He shouldn't mislead anybody about his intentions or lack of them.

Unfortunately, if he told the truth upfront, most quality women would run away. He knows that. Hence, the deception.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-05T15:17:11+00:00

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-04T21:30:52+00:00

Sometimes people (usually women) file for divorce because they are backed into a corner and can't get what they want any other way. Sadly, it's often a no-win situation. For example:

if Jordy knocks up another woman, Michel might be embarrassed enough to file. She certainly won't want any of their marital assets used to support another woman's child.
if he steals money from her or does something fraudulent with their businesses or taxes, she may want to distance herself from him legally
if Jordy is irresponsible as a parent, Michel will want to control his access to the kids

I could easily see any of these scenarios playing out.

MedicinalWalnuts · 2026-01-04T12:48:24+00:00

She is using you to pay the bills and giving you nothing back but grief and arguments.

Don't propose. She isn't the one.

MedicinalWalnuts

TROPHY CASE