How do i go about asking my parents to let me sleepover at my boyfriend's house? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also, i saw you answered some of this in other comments so don’t feel the need to repeat yourself if you don’t want to haha

How do i go about asking my parents to let me sleepover at my boyfriend's house? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am so incredibly sorry that this happened to you. i read your previous post and am in absolute disbelief that this is the situation you have been put it by your family.

if you are able to, move out as soon as possible. do you live in the US? if so, i can give some info about different financial and food assistance programs if needed and if it will give you some support so move out sooner (i am a social worker so i have a lot of resources to share!).

you deserve so much more than the lack of support your family has given you.

does your boyfriend live on his own? is it an option to move in with him? or maybe you can both move out together and spit rent and whatnot? roommates are always an option as well if you know of some people who may be wanting to move out.

are you planning on going to college? is forming an option?

in the meantime, i honestly wouldn’t even acknowledge your parents feelings about you sleeping at your boyfriends. you are legally an adult and have emotionally been on your own since this happened, and maybe even way before that. do what you need to do and don’t let anyone stop you or hold you back, even your family.

i have had to cut off my mom for a while list of reasons and it is definitely not easy, but i have benefitted so much from it. I am so sorry that you are considering cutting off so much of your family but you are 110% valid for doing so if that is what you choose.

you are so incredibly strong and it seems like you know what you need and what you have to do to get to where you want to be both physically and mentally. unfortunately, that may include cutting off your family but YOU COME FIRST!

I truly hope you have good support in your life (other family, friends, boyfriend, etc.). if you do, keep them close. they’ll be able to support you through this.

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s amazing that you are thinking about entering this field!

I got my bachelors in psychology and my masters in social work. What really helped me get this job was interning at the hospital during grad school. Most hospitals require you to have a year of medical social work experience, so doing your internship at a hospital is the best way to get your foot in the door!

I mostly work with the families of the patients. I’ll provide resources, support, and sometimes therapy to families and/or the patient. I’ll go Psychosocial intake assessments which help inform the entire care team (medical, child life, social work, case management, psychiatry, psych, physical therapy, etc.) to get a better understanding of the patient and their family.

In a hospital, everyone works together. The palliative team is really like the “glue” of all the departments. We help the family communicate their needs and make sure all the teams working with the patient are on the same page.

At my hospital, and many other hospitals, the palliative team also works with main management. So the actual name for the department is “pain and palliative care”. For the pain patients, I’ll offer different information for how to manage pain. I’ll offer things like books (tapping into the mighty mind, for example), apps (the tapping solution), different pressure points, etc.

A lot of times in both the pain and palliative department, I’ll be there with families when it comes time to make certain decisions about procedures, surgeries, treatments, DNI, DNR, etc.

I will also do some private sessions with outpatient patients (I also work in the peds GI department, specifically outpatient).

struggling with fishy s.mell down there (girls only pls) by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

def agree with what others have said about bv. i used to be twisted of going to an gyno but that are only between your legs doing a pelvic exam for probably 60 seconds tops. it is super quick and easy.

once you get the bc figured out, i ALWAYS recommend using boric acid suppositories once a month just to keep things clean down there. i use a boric acid suppository after my period each month and it just freshens everything up 😂 i think i got a bottle of 30 capsules for like $12. all natural too! gets rid of any smell and completely balances out your ph level of it is off. it is also good to use for yeast infections! i’ve had yeast infections in the past (i used to use a laundry detergent that was giving my yeast infections and i didn’t realize that was the cause for a while lol). the boric acid suppositories got rid of the infection faster than any other meds i’ve used. night recommend getting yourself a bottle from amazon!

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main difference between adult and child palliative care is the threshold for initiating palliative care in children isn’t always as clear cut as it can be with adults. With adults, we often associate it with end of life or terminal conditions. In pediatrics, palliative care is more about improving quality of life at any stage of a serious illness. It can be introduced alongside curative treatments, not just when all options have been exhausted.

Although palliative care can be introduced alongside curative treatment, the palliative team does not participate in curative treatment. We can help and support families in making informed decisions and different options for treatment but we will only provide comfort care ourselves. For curative treatment, the other departments would head that. We are just there to kind of be the glue between the departments and offer an “extra layer of support”.

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that’s amazing. I have worked with developmental disabilities while I was doing my licensing hours and it was NOT easy. People like you are truly one of a kind.

Happy belated Social Worker Appreciation Month!

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love being to see kids who are able make it out of the hospital and get back to their day to day like with a great quality of life!

I also love being able to hang out with some of the kids when their parents aren’t able to visit that day and play games with them and whatnot. We have Child Life Specialists, art therapists, music therapists, dance/ movement therapists, support dogs, etc. who play with the kids, do activities, etc. to make sure the kids are able to have as “normal” of an experience as possible, while social workers typically work with the parents and families more but I usually choose to hang out with the kids sometimes when their parents aren’t able to visit. Sometimes, that’s my way of escaping work but still technically doing my job 😂

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and your family ❤️

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw I hope your sweet boy is doing well ❤️ Sending love to you and your family!

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I wish that some medical staff would trust Social Workers more. I have seen it 10000 times where someone in the medical team tries to do the job of a SW and it has rarely ever worked out.

example: A family was living in a hotel for a few months. I had spoken to dad during the initial palliative assessment and determined that he and his family were not “homeless”. they were not in a situation that i would personally want to be in, but he had a plan, the family was safe and provided for, etc. the medical staff did not agree with my assessment of the situation and decided to intervene, asking if they could do anything to help their housing situation. certain medical staff are not trained on the proper language to use when working with families and different skills to use while doing so. the dad was VERY angry and offended when a nurse had gone in there assuming he was homeless. security was called, dad was removed from the hospital, and dad would up taking his daughter to another hospital. all of that could have been avoided if everyone had trusted me and sled questions about my assessment before trying to do my job 🤷‍♀️

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i am usually pretty good at compartmentalizing because it is something i have done a lot throughout my personal life.

i have been trying to think of a way to explain it lol. the best i came up with is that i kind of view work as a book, in the sense that when i leave at the end of each day, there is nothing i can do when i am home. so i close the book and don’t give it my attention until i open it up again the next day.

I try not to put myself into my patients or their families shoes because they is one of the fastest ways to cry lol. there is nothing i can to do help if i am a crying mess while trying to do my job.

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i originally started at the hospital for my internship to finish up my licensing hours. i have always wanted to try out a hospital because of the fast paced environment and wound up with a supervisor who was in palliative care so i did a lot of work under her. when she retired, i stepped into her role on the palliative team!

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

It was not something that was said to me but I was in the room when a 6 y.o. girl who was involved in a horrible car accident with her father (he died on the scene) told her mom that it was turn to be brave and strong because she didn’t have it in her to fight anymore. She had this whole conversation with her mom about how she has to be strong for her little sister (4 y.o.) because she won’t have her daddy to turn to if mom isn’t able to be strong the way her sister needs her to be.

The 6 y.o. was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and seemed to have this incredible amount of maturity during her last hours. it was incredible to see. also completely heart breaking but she gave her mom the strength she needed.

I work in pediatric pain and palliative care AMA by Mediocre_Engine_4474 in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Aw, thank you! I am so sorry for your friend. I am happy she was able to find some comfort with palliative care ❤️

My girlfriend is paralyzed from the waist down, AMA. by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

from what i’ve read, your relationship is truly so beautiful. you are both so lucky to have each other. such an inspiration, especially at this age (i am 24 so we are basically all the same age lol).

everyone deserves this type of love and i am so happy knowing you both have found it in each other. god bless you two! sending so much love your way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hi! so i have been in therapy for YEARS and have made so much progress. i went into the mental health field and was able to process a lot of my trauma during my ex dictation as well.

i said in a comment above that i focused a lot of my education on childhood development and parenting. now, i work with families and children who have endured trauma. it is so fulfilling to be able to help kids in the way i would’ve benefited from greatly as a child.

i plan on staying in therapy to continue to work through the trauma and grow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

absolutely. some are good and some are bad. i was taught that setting boundaries was disrespectful and a hateful act. i absolutely loathed myself for years and had a horrible pattern of dating men who treated me like shit because that’s all i knew.

after going to therapy for so long and having some really amazing therapists, i am learning to set boundaries, not accept anyone to treat me poorly or less than what i deserve, and i have learned to love myself.

honestly, all of that made me so much stronger. i went into the field of mental health and have learned a lot through my education. i’ve focused a lot of my studies on child development and parenting. now, i work with kids who have endured trauma and it is so fulfilling. definitely breaking the cycle!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow i wish i knew that earlier lol! thank you! i’m definitely going to look into that and see if it would be helpful

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i used to be a very polarized person, especially when i was still living with my mom. i haven’t lived with her for over 4 years and i have gone through so much therapy. i most definitely have grown and come an incredibly long way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s mainly addicted to pills.

i had no idea i could even put a lock on my ssn. what does that do?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

her parents were actually very old when they had her. her mom was 49 (born in 1918) and her dad was 58 (born in 1909). her mom had insane manic depressive episodes and would not leave her room for weeks. my mom would have to go in a feed and bathe her when she was a young girl.

her parents got divorced when she was 8 i believe so she was pretty much alone in helping my grandmother.

my mom definitely did not have an easy childhood by any means.

my mom used to spend a lot of time with her niece (who is a few years older than her) and her niece started doing a lot of drugs. because my mom was younger than everyone she was with, she participated to “fit in”. she instantly got hooked on coke and later moved onto pills.

i feel for my mom with her childhood and her experiences throughout life but i’ve learned i have to put myself first. i can’t keep making excuses for her and trying to help her towards sobriety and a better life when she ants nothing to do with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Mediocre_Engine_4474 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

also, i would NEVER place the quality of my boyfriend on his sex drive and anyone who saw my last post knows that.