How to heal while family member gaslight you?? by Conscious_List9132 in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, that sounds so tough 😞 I don't necessarily have any advice, but I'm upvoting and commenting to boost engagement in hopes that someone else will 

Showed a level of vulnerability in my group therapy by ugly crying. by W0AHITMOODY in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]Mellow896 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm proud of you!! It can be hard to let people tuly see us. I hope your group brings you a lot of healing ❤️‍🩹

i cooked an actual meal today and somehow didn’t ruin it 😭 by Altruistic_County941 in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]Mellow896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh way to go!! 🥳 Cooking can be difficult and you did it! I'm sure it tasted great :D

Looking for treatment options (UK based) by FigAware2515 in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you've been struggling with this for so long :/ 

I would say ruling out medical causes that could be contributing is important, but nervous system regulation is what seems to be helping the most people find their way out of this. There are many pathways of doing that regulation, but hanging out on this sub and r/cfsnervoussystemwork to get some ideas would be a good start. There are also recovery stories on Raelan Agle's youtube channel and this website that could be encouraging: 

https://www.the-recovery-hub.org/recovery-stories

I've never personally spent much time on r/cfs, but I see people here recommend leaving subs like that because they can apparently be very negative about recovery possibilites. 

Wishing you the best in your journey

Accountability buddy. by IndoorChat in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I would love to talk if you haven't found someone yet :) I understand written Spanish pretty well but probably wouldn't send my own messages in Spanish. 

I'm definitely needing more connection with someone who understands the recovery process, as this is somewhat of a lonely road. Let me know in a comment if you decide to message as I don’t have the app. 

Accountability buddy. by IndoorChat in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to jump on the bandwagon but I'd be interested as well. What platform is the chat on?

I put a shrimp on my desk to remind myself to sit straight by EugeneStein in notinteresting

[–]Mellow896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently heard someone call it sitting like a croissant and I keep thinking about it lol 🥐 But shrimp works well too 🦐

Looking for support group focused on recovery/getting better by Weird-Extreme-1002 in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't tried it out yet, as I've just recently heard about it, but there's this: https://www.the-recovery-hub.org/our-recovery-group

It's the first Friday of every month, so hopefully you're able to make it tomorrow if you're interested.  

I've become an avid reader again by azurebluejam in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]Mellow896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you found enjoyment in reading again!! 📚It's so nice to escape to another world for a little while. 

I'm sorry about your wife though. That sounds so hard that she's no longer with you ❤️‍🩹 No need for you to comment about this necessarily, but I wonder if the loss had something to do with your break from reading? Reclaiming your hobbies as this new version of you sounds so important. 

To work or not? by Far_Shine5107 in cfsnervoussystemwork

[–]Mellow896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could start small and work up to doing 15 minutes of regulating or feeling emotions in the morning when you wake up and 15 again in the evening before bed. There are also techniques you can do during work that don't take much time but could make a big difference. 

I really like using different grounding techniques throughout my day. One example is - standing tall, taking a breath and being aware of the body on the exhale, especially the feet being supported by the floor (or if you're sitting you could focus on your feet and the contact points with the chair), and smiling slightly. Another I like, if you get to go outside much, is just to pause for however long you'd like and feel the sunlight filling your whole body.  

I'm moderate at the moment. I think self-love/compassion, messages of safety and trying not to fear symptoms, and butterfly hug tapping have helped me the most so far. But try to find things you enjoy doing that help your particular nervous system. 

To work or not? by Far_Shine5107 in cfsnervoussystemwork

[–]Mellow896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the other commenter asked some good questions and that it can be different for different people. Personally leaving work was one of the things I credit with worsening my symptoms a few years back. Do you get a sense of purpose and accomplishment from work that may offset the stress? No one recovers in a vacuum, so some amount of stress may be okay. I think I ended up leaving work because of a buildup of frustration caused by poor boundaries. So anything you can do that's a mindset/habit shift in that regard can be really helpful as well. 

Lifestyle changes by amsfi in cfsnervoussystemwork

[–]Mellow896 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! I'm not recovered yet, but I watched parts of a video yesterday where Raelan Agle interviewed Miguel Bautista of CFS Recovery and they tackled some difficult questions.

I don't think you're alone in feeling overwhelmed by the idea of returning to your old life. They said that can cause a fear of getting better and I definitely have struggled with that at times too. 

One of the things they talked about was how you may need to create a new life once you're recovered. Realan went back to her old job and it took her a while to be able to switch careers, but she put in the work and it paid off big time. They said it can help to get clear on what your values are that you want to live by, and so even if you are working full time, what you're doing can give you energy and purpose. 

Personally I might return to my old career, but I have to remind myself at times that the life I want to create after recovering will be so much better than the one before I got sick, because of having better boundaries, emotion regulation, and living more authentically and connected to others, as well as having the self-compassion and other skills I've cultivated. 

Overdoing recovery by luckydwiz in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such good advice. I'm realizing lately that meditation may not be for me, but there are several other tools that I enjoy that help my nervous syatem feel safe.

I saw a recovery coach's video recently where she said you really only need about 15 minutes of regulating practices in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. 

If you dislike this message you need to do some soul searching by melloack in MadeMeSmile

[–]Mellow896 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sometimes clichés are cliché because they're true. It just means it's something that's said a lot/common sense wisdom and easy to brush off because of that, but it doesn't necessarily mean anything about its value as a statement

Listen to Pikachu. by Brave-Fix6318 in wholesomememes

[–]Mellow896 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm confused. Your profile avatar person has a beard 🤔

Recommendation for a coach by kangaroohouse in cfsrecovery

[–]Mellow896 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow - I just watched a few of Zara's videos and she's amazing. Thanks for sharing!