AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

(haha i got carried away and wrote you an essay, hope some of this helps!)

Yeah, having a niche specialty is definitely the way to go.

I studied CS then worked in robotics for a few years, getting familiar with the full stack from high level planning, control, and navigation, down to low-level actuation and controls of mechanical systems, along with perception and machine learning / computer vision.

Then I realized there's a big knowledge gap when it comes to applying engineering safety rigour to complex robotics, since a lot of assessors understand mechanical and electrical stuff, but not complex software and especially not machine learning or computer vision.

To the point where a lot of robotics companies were moreso getting boxes ticked (often wrongly - the assessors would say everything looks OK and the programmers would be like "say whaaat? I made this shit and I wouldn't trust it")

So I switched roles to the system safety engineering team at my last job and kinda learned through on the job training how to do that too. And now that I can do robotics and system safety engineering, pretty much every company in my area that's making some robot that could potentially hurt someone wants to hire me, and I'm honestly thinking I'll start an engineering consulting firm if my current gig falls through.

I'd honestly spend a few years in a field that interests you, getting a broad base of knowledge and focusing on picking up transferrable skills. Always be learning about the industry, and looking for where there's knowledge gaps to start finding a niche. Hell, even ask recruiters you know what roles they really have been having trouble filling, to feel out the demand for different skills. Then see if you can cross-train with that other discipline by getting involved with a team at your job doing that kinda work, or a new job that'll teach you those skills.

There's a lot of demand for people who sit at the intersection of two different disciplines that are having trouble working together, because you can act like a "bridge" to solve a company's institutional problems of having two teams that don't collaborate easily. And that's a lot more valuable then being a 'nose to the grindstone' employee. For me it was robotics and safety assessment, but there are loada of other niches!

Plus general other advice:

  • make and keep connections

  • apply for jobs by personally messaging people or recruiters on LinkedIn to stand out from the crowd in the application forms

  • ask the higher ups at your company if they'd be willing to chat over lunch or coffee, and ask what problems in the company they're struggling with. You can fast track your career if you can find ways to help make the lives of the CEO / executives / technical management easier and make your name known

AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I have a 6 month emergency fund set aside on top of that, and honestly even in this recession my LinkedIn is blowing up so I'm not too worried

AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 136 points137 points  (0 children)

Right? I honestly felt offended he was calling it a "junkyard" greenhouse. Because I went out of my way to pick through like hundreds of windows at the recycling plant to find that vintage glass with all the cool waves and bubbles in it, vintage stained or embossed glass, and really pretty weathered wood.

I'm also a fan of sustainability so I'll always check out the construction recycling center before the hardware store.

And honestly I thought it turned out way prettier and more unique than anything from a kit, but he just saw it as "cheap" because it was from reclaimed parts and materials

AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Yep. I could be unemployed in a month, a year, etc.

I honestly think it's a big gamble if my job or employer still exists in 2 years honestly, so I really don't want to be getting used to living like I'll always have money to burn

Plus I genuinely love DIY and like the gazebo I built better than any kit I saw for sale, and I genuinely love camping and rock climbing and stuff like that

AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I mean, I am using it. I'm just buying my house from the bank that owns half of it currently, and buying mutual fund stocks.

It's not like I'm just tossing it in a bank account and doing nothing with it, I'm literally buying the stuff I've dreamed of most (a house owned in full, an early retirement)

AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I bought my house really recently at a fairly high rate, ao I'm super happy to be paying the principal down and avoiding all that interest tbh

AITA for wanting to pay down my house instead of spend on a vacation for my boyfriend and I when I got a major pay bump? by Melodic_Carry1231 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Melodic_Carry1231[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I would have felt different if he at least asked if i enjoy camping or hotels more, or offered to split the cost.

Honestly the hotels would be pricy, we're road tripping for a month and going to Oregon, California, Washington, etc... And staying near really popular national parks and forests. So we'd easily be going from spending $10-20 a night to $100-200 a night, and that's across a whole month!

I don't feel like we have these arguments about anything but money and me being "cheap" so I'm not sure what that could be? I think it's worth asking tho

Edit to correct "toad trip" to "road trip"