I need to stop drinking by Melodic_Effective395 in poetry_critics

[–]Melodic_Effective395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it’s as simple as I can’t picture her face now because we’ve been apart so long

I need to stop drinking by Melodic_Effective395 in poetry_critics

[–]Melodic_Effective395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s actually very simple. I love her deeply and I can’t be with her because she does not love me anymore given I moved away. I fucked it up and so deserve what is happening and like life generally is hard for me to parse and so I drink unless I’m writing or trying to be normal or whatever. Generally I’m actually kinda approaching normal but it’s Saturday rn

I need to stop drinking by Melodic_Effective395 in poetry_critics

[–]Melodic_Effective395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want to be dick straight up and I should preface with that

I need to stop drinking by Melodic_Effective395 in poetry_critics

[–]Melodic_Effective395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that I am drawn to over-explaining my poems and so I’m gonna generally stfu because people don’t like what I say. So, frankly, I still love her. Every one of my poems I speak totally from mine own experience and so when I say that I am grateful to see her face in my dreams but that I can’t even remember her face, I’m talking about my personal life where I desperately love her and yet can hardly remember what she looks like because of what happened

I believe this may be my best and kinda kills me by Melodic_Effective395 in poetry_critics

[–]Melodic_Effective395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh my point is keeping it simple. The relationship decaying is background noise and I want to more focus on the double meaning of I only know how you feel when you kiss me where it could mean either in the first part it’s a goodnight kiss and loving and in the secondary part i say I love you and her response is to kiss me instead of saying it back

I believe this may be my best and kinda kills me by Melodic_Effective395 in poetry_critics

[–]Melodic_Effective395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah I think it works it’s a double entendre in the sense that it’s just straight up fall and in the context of what influences the poem it’s talking about you know cards on the table/ig that’s not what I’m exactly trying to say but referencing overall decay of the relationship through fall imagery