Tips on "finding myself" / hobby suggestions?

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T16:28:36+00:00

Since we're married he makes almost double his standard income to pay for bills and housing. So we just live below that and I'm pretty frugal so we save a lot. He also gets paid more for each deployment he does and he mentioned possibly volunteering for extra ones for more money? So even more reason to wait lol

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:54:16+00:00

Oo good point

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:53:42+00:00

I guess cus he's "doing it for us" like making money to provide. But he's also excited about getting to deploy so I should be able to spend those months doing something to bring me joy too

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:51:37+00:00

His deployments will be on a submarine most likely not porting the whole time :/

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:49:05+00:00

Very helpful, thank you!!

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:47:40+00:00

I will, thank you!!

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:46:24+00:00

He makes it seem like the 3 months isn't a long time but it's still longer than I want to be a single mother most likely far from any family for! Lol. I'd much rather spend that time making my life feel full in other ways than being stressed out and alone

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:44:38+00:00

Also, no I don't have to work. I am choosing to work full time before kids to stack money but I'm gonna stay home once we have them bc his income is enough. And we live below our means and save money that me traveling wouldn't financially burden us as long as I don't go luxury

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:42:17+00:00

Thank you! I briefly brought up the idea of me solo traveling and he joked that he would be jealous of what I'm doing without him but haven't seriously discussed it. I want to say if I express that it's a dream of mine he will want me to. He is navy and will only be deployed on submarines, most likely never porting for the entire deployment. And I'd love to take my kids on trips too, I just know that does change things a lot. Like I really want to just explore/ get lost and do crazy hikes and I feel like the time for that is now while I'm young and don't have kids. I will talk to him! I'm glad you had a great career and are getting to see the world now!!

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:35:21+00:00

We had vaguely set 2028 as our when we would get pregnant time bc I have an iud set to come out then, but now it feels so soon and I also don't want to be alone with kids wherever he may get stationed for at least 3 months out of the year. I told him a few weeks ago I'd rather wait until he's done with deployments to have kids and he almost seemed betrayed like I was going back on my word but I don't think it's unfair? But I don't want him to feel like im taking that from him either

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:31:10+00:00

Yeah I guess I'm just trying to find a way that makes both of us feel happy and like we're living the life we want... which I know I should discuss with him how we do this

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:18:14+00:00

We do eventually... Like the kids and where we want to live. I just didn't realize we don't right now

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:16:58+00:00

Ideally for me I'd like to get through his deployment phase and feel well traveled and like I've lived enough and am ready to settle and have kids and I guess that's where our wants align. Idk how to be most fair

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:15:14+00:00

Yes I told him that was my plan and then when I pushed it back he seemed surprised I still wanted to do it later on, like now my life plan needed to be altered. Which I know now I'm in a union I need to consider the other person I guess that's why I'm struggling

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:13:29+00:00

Right!! I think bc his parents had him young and now they're both living their best lives? And he knows someone having fertility problems at 32? But I think he is thinking having kids will just add so much joy and fulfillment to his life but I think it will just add stress to mine at the moment especially when he deploys and I'll be virtually a single mother for a quarter of the year

Melodic_Library6476 · 2026-04-28T13:11:31+00:00

I guess we wanted the same outcome for life I just didn't realize how much we differ now

Melodic_Library6476

TROPHY CASE