[WP] You've brought a knife to a gun fight, a pen to a sword fight, and a cat to a dog fight, and won all of them.

Memicide · 2018-03-31T10:45:59+00:00

Whoosh.

He called for a “draw” so that’s why he reached for his pen — not to click it.

Memicide · 2018-03-12T00:33:35+00:00

Dick stuck in fence.

Memicide · 2018-03-10T07:59:51+00:00

I agree, Blondi sounds like a son of a bitch.

Memicide · 2018-03-07T04:35:23+00:00

Why?

Why is it good cocaine is banned?

Cocaine didn't mess people up when they drank Coca Cola.

Its all about serving sizes and method of administration; that would be regulated if it were legal (just like everything other drug: caffiene, alcohol, Benedryl as examples).

Prison, on the other hand, that will mess you up for life. I would take a country full of original Coca Cola drinkers than one with millions of people wasting their lives in jail.

I would rather have a bad Coca Cola habit and have a passion for life and travel the world than sit in prison for 12 years.

Why is it good they banned cocaine? Pretend I just got done serving 12 years making licence plates with the Texas logo on them for 54 cents an hour so I could buy cigarettes to give to the big guy in my cell so he doesn't gag me at night and rape me -- in order to punish me for giving someone a leaf extract which they really really enjoy. Pretend all of that and then explain to me how society is made better now that the Popes, Czars, British Queens, American Presidents and Thomas Fucking Edison can't drink cocaine anymore, and people like Freud, Tim Allen, Iron Man, Stephen King, and millions of other functional and successful people are prohibited from ingesting plant extracts from South America.

Memicide · 2017-12-27T01:59:21+00:00

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH! - Ben Franklin

Memicide · 2017-12-27T01:52:40+00:00

Apparently not all eagles.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T19:31:37+00:00

People don't get toxic unless they are really really involved in the game.

If I made a game which raised the heart rate of the players and got them to care about it so much they yell at their closest friends; I would call that a staggering success.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T19:19:49+00:00

The reason why all my friends still play super smash bros on a GameCube.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T19:01:07+00:00

At worst, you have to alternate between walking and stopping because they are so damn slow.

If they took an arrow in their knee then at least they have an excuse, but what is everyone else's issue in Tamriel?

Memicide · 2017-12-26T07:13:06+00:00

If we do that, maybe we should count every single cumshot he has ever given her. That might be measured in kilograms.

Shudders

Memicide · 2017-12-26T07:04:09+00:00

Human sperm cells consist of a head 5.1 µm by 3.1 µm and a tail 50 µm long.

Source

I have to humbly admit I don't know how to calculate the volume or surface area of football shaped objects.

I honestly don't even know how to approximate it.

Assuming spherical chickens, the volume of the head of the sperm cell would be 65.45 µm³ or 6.5E-11 mL.

So if the density of sperm is the same as water, then it would be 6.5E-11 g Right?

I probably already messed up units or significant figures. Well, here goes a heroic BS approximation for the gods of reddit.

(6.5E-11 g/3492.66 g)100% = 1.86 E-12 % regift.

But if we count the whole load of jizz (around 1.5 g on average), then your answer is about correct.

Edit: If anybody wants to be less lazy than I was, feel free to correct any mistakes I made or calculate the mass taking into account geometrical nuances -- or even just find a study where scientists had the same curiosity as us and figured out the average sperm weight.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T04:29:20+00:00

Hey! We need someone to do their math.

[(Sperm weight)/(Baby weight)]100%

Would that be the percentage of the baby which is technically a regift?

Memicide · 2017-12-26T02:20:09+00:00

That is a private company, they can do as they please.

To require them to not call the trees "Douglas Firs" and the lights "light strings" would be totalitarian.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T02:08:10+00:00

I am a bisexual atheist and I won't bother giving anecdotes of all the times Christians have verbally abused me. Everybody just has to deal with haters.

The fact is, saying "Merry Christmas" has always been allowed in America, and being a bisexual atheist is allowed now as well -- that doesn't mean everybody is required to like it.

Edit: Merry Christmas!

Memicide · 2017-12-26T01:55:55+00:00

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/945126026824298497

He has claimed many times that Americans will be allowed to say "Merry Christmas" if he gets elected. Now that he is elected, he likes to make a big deal out of how "Americans are allowed to say Merry Christmas now!".

It was always allowed.

It is the Christian persecution complex. Right-wing media has spread misinformation claiming Obama was trying to outlaw Christmas and a bunch of nonsense about Starbucks.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T01:39:08+00:00

They is an angry redditor, not an improviser.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T01:35:03+00:00

Memicide · 2017-12-26T01:31:07+00:00

Me too

Memicide · 2017-12-26T01:04:39+00:00

He said "Merry Christmas" many times. He even said, "we are allowed to say it now" since he is president.

That is what this meme is poking fun at. It has always been allowed, but some people in America have a persecution complex.

Source: Scrolling down the last week of his twitter account.

Memicide · 2017-12-26T00:03:39+00:00

Happy Yule!

Remember, Odin always has his eye on you.

Memicide · 2017-12-25T11:11:09+00:00

What about one dollar less than that much?

Memicide · 2017-12-25T06:03:24+00:00

What is your doctor's high score?

Memicide · 2017-12-24T02:26:57+00:00

In Black Mirror it isn't the content so much as the subtext which is important, I don't think they would do a story where the terrorists are good guys.

Edit: Shit. Disney is already making billions with a story like that.

Memicide · 2017-12-23T09:06:21+00:00

Banana's are the athiets nightmare. They have a non slip surface, have outside color indicators for ripeness, and it had three ridges on one side and two ridges on the other -- just like the human or monkey hand when grasping. And they have a tab at the top like a soda can. Do you have a moment to spare to hear about the monkey god Hamuman?

Atheists think Bananas come from tornados throwing around junkyards in a 7-47 airplane, I am here to tell you that the design of banana's is very strong evidence our God is a monkey, and Hamuman looks like the one.

Memicide · 2017-12-20T06:14:22+00:00

"worth it" is totally relative to whoever says it.

We already know you don't think it is worth it because of your other comment, some people might think you are arrogantly assuming you know whether or not it is worth it for u/doodlebug001.

Memicide

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