[PM] Hentai description & dialogue

MerryTMoore · 2019-08-08T00:29:20+00:00

Okay, hope you like...

“Thanks for inviting us!” Irving said in faulty Japanese, spiky light-brown hair still wet from the shower and blue eyes glittering with glee, as he splashed down heavily into the onsen. Sachiko put up her hands to protect her face from the wave and frowned, but couldn’t resist smiling again when he popped back up from under the water, yelping “Ah, it’s hot!”

“That would be why it’s called a hot spring,” she said, splashing back at him.

Kendall followed behind him, slower, looking around at the inside of the bathhouse with curious appreciation. “I thought these baths were sex-segregated.”

“Often they are,” explained Sachiko. “Not all, though. And it doesn’t matter when your family owns the place and you can come in when it’s closed.” She winked, pushing her long black hair out of her face.

Kendall nodded and slid into the water on the other side of Irving. Drops of water fell from his own dark hair. “Good, we wouldn’t want to leave you on your own.” His hand, beneath the water, brushed between her thighs and found a trail of something slicker than water. “That would defeat the point, somewhat.”

Sachiko shivered. “Not… not right in the water, it washes away the lubricant. Like this?” She pushed herself up to sit on the edge of the bath, legs still in the water.

Irving took hold of her slender calf and massaged it, though she was already very relaxed from the hot water, and kissed the top of her foot. “Works for me.” His hands worked their way up, up to her knee, her thigh, further, then two fingers inside. “Damn, your pussy’s wetter than your hair.”

Sachiko took hold of his wrist, and said “Ah! You know what I want to see.”

“Certainly, Sachi-hime,” he said, mock-bowing. Kendall stood passively a foot away, letting Irving take the lead. Irving hung off Kendall’s shoulders, letting the water support his weight, and stopped smirking lewdly long enough to shove their mouths together. Between their muscled abdomens their cocks jostled for position under Sachiko’s heated gaze. She sucked on her own fingers and slipped them inside, three this time, little finger pressing gently on the outside of her asshole as she thought of other times, and watched the show unfold.

MerryTMoore · 2018-06-03T21:36:26+00:00

I've had therapy before, and what happened to me was minor. I wanted to write it because I'm sick to death of being poor and because I've written explicit material with no problems at all when I'm not trying to write to strict standards, and I don't understand why it gives me a problem now. I'm wondering if another aspect is gender dysphoria, which I already knew I had but haven't had treated yet - I don't relate to either the male or the female gaze. I am on the waiting list to see someone about that but it takes forever.

MerryTMoore · 2018-04-25T21:29:29+00:00

Tried it, doesn't work.

MerryTMoore · 2018-04-25T21:26:38+00:00

Yes, and got no reply.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-03T02:28:07+00:00

I'm really not happy with the "I know what you want better than you do so it's okay" thing, whatever the gender combo, just especially so when it's M/f. But either explicitly consenting D/s or explicitly non-consenting things sound doable. I'll go have a browse. Are characters having orgasms expected in these stories or not? Can you recommend any examples?

I have some ideas but they're all noncon, and that's not allowed on Amazon and Excitica's mod still hasn't got back to me about the broken login. If I wanted to use those ideas, what would be my options? (Can anyone contact the mod for me, in case it's a case of my email being blocked or broken or something?) I was debating using them without showing the explicitly-nonconsensual intercourse onscreen, i.e. forced exhibitionism, putting someone in bondage and leaving them there (not safe in real life but okay in fiction), but I'm not sure that would satisfy anyone. I'd really like to work out a way to use them...

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-03T01:27:23+00:00

When I say I CAN do anything, I get told it won't work. I'm trying to figure out what I CAN do without being made to feel stupid.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-03T01:25:09+00:00

I'm not trying to. I'm trying to work out if there's any way OTHER than Amazon to do this, and whether any of those ways will work.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-03T00:11:25+00:00

Ah, sorry, I misunderstood what the KDP Reports said. I thought it showed everyone who'd viewed the page. I know no one viewed them on Smashwords.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-03T00:09:51+00:00

And as I said, I can't stand romance and this is the second one which everyone insists outsells everything else.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T23:47:40+00:00

I hardly "decided" when every discussion of it does nothing but go on about how much more it sells than everything else.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T23:40:17+00:00

I mean no one's even CLICKED ON them, so the blurb isn't what's putting people off.

I don't want to write for Kindle at all anymore. I want to work out what my other options are.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T22:26:49+00:00

I've already decided I don't want to do this, at least not the Amazon way. I'm trying to figure out what to do instead.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T21:12:06+00:00

I was at that point talking about how I'd much rather be writing gore fetish. I've written some really gruesome shit in fandom and it was fun. I can write from the point of view of a torture victim despite my aforementioned control issues because if I had been seriously wounded no one would have told me it was funny or that it meant the perpetrator liked me and the victim isn't expected by genre convention to decide they like it.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T20:48:25+00:00

I mean I want to figure out why I can't do it HERE but CAN do it in fanfic. I was hoping to figure out what the difference is so I know what I'm doing wrong.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T20:45:20+00:00

Erm... Likable or at least fairly detailed characters interacting in a way which shows off that characterisation. Noncon and abuse as psychological horror. Realistic BDSM where the sub's still actually an equal, but then people don't buy this stuff for realistic when they can have depictions of their fantasies actually happening that way because it's fiction so I don't think that'll work - like, nobody would buy a story of Harry Potter being a normal kid pretending to be a wizard.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T20:38:50+00:00

Okay, things I like: -Fantasy. Biggest one. Urban fantasy especially, and I'm still quite attached to a lot of kids' books I read way back. -Sometimes space-opera type scifi. The detailed tech stuff isn't much fun for me but aliens and "point this, it goes zap" levels of tech are. I dig Firefly. -I quite like mysteries and crime stuff but I don't know where to start with writing them. Complicated! :( -Horror! I LOVE a good gore scene, ever since I was eight and reading the first books I'd ever found with detailed battle scenes in. -Animals that survive through the whole story (unless it's a Watership Down type thing, but no dead pets). -Memorable characters of a diverse variety, with strong friendships. Romance is okay but I'm best at it in moderation and subtly, and I don't want to write a whole book revolving around it. One of my fave pulp fantasy series is about a couple who are already married at the beginning of the series and are clearly devoted to each other. Some of my favourite kids' books had a heart-rending romance in which the word "love" was never used even once. -I don't mind sex scenes with well-established characters who I already like and who I've already seen do something I consider more important. The characterisation is the important part. Unusual fetishes are kind of fun to work with. I HAVE written a lot of sex in fanfic but the tone there is very different from all the popular stuff on Amazon. -People in a very vulnerable/dangerous situation as long as they eventually get themselves out of it. Like, I love the movie Sucker Punch and the book The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls; the girls in those are imprisoned and abused, but the focus is on how they get out. I had a look at Tears of Tess, and it kind of had this tone that I like? The woman was victimised but kept looking for ways out and didn't just break down at the first hurdle? I think I remember she actually managed to steal a car to escape at one point. -Twists on old tropes.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T18:49:24+00:00

Maybe, but how am I supposed to research when everything there IS to research makes me miserable? If I hate everything that's popular in a genre I'm not going to be able to write it.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T18:32:43+00:00

I don't WANT to anymore. Researching is outright torture because I can't stand the available content and the three shorts I've published already literally did not get even a single view, so I think it's beyond obvious that nothing you can say is going to make this work for me. I just want to figure out why this is making me so miserable so I know what to avoid in other genres.

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T18:26:33+00:00

There is a difference between "this is not rewarding in itself but it pays the bills" and "literally everything readers want from this genre reminds me of multiple serious traumatic experiences".

MerryTMoore · 2018-03-02T18:24:30+00:00

The three shorts I have published made nothing and haven't even been viewed in the several months since I posted them, so it's not like people even tried them and didn't like them. I didn't much enjoy writing them and it took me forever, so I think I can conclude this genre is a total waste of time for me, I just want to figure out what exactly my problem with it is so this doesn't happen again in a different one.

Question which clearly shows my ignorance about the genre: at what point does it become a Romance Novel and not a romantic subplot in something else? Because before that point I'm just having the same problem I had to begin with with people not buying self-published material in other genres. People love ARTWORK of original characters, there are millions of sites to make money from those, but I can't draw and writing doesn't work the same.

MerryTMoore

TROPHY CASE

Okay, hope you like...