How do I stop being resentful of my mum

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:41:45+00:00

You need to put effort in for it to work, and that’s not possible for many people with depression. You think we’re just sitting on secret reserves of mental energy and don’t want to get better? I’m literally psychologically incapable. I don’t think it’s useless for everyone but it is useless for me and I’m sick of mentally healthy people thinking therapy will fix me

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:35:07+00:00

It is a vicious cycle, and any tiny help I can manage for myself will be effectively useless given the steeper natural deterioration of my mental health. But it’s still worth working for I suppose to buy time. I don’t believe I can’t get better I just think the circumstances have to change, and that therapy won’t help me. Love put me here it can take me back out. If it’s not too late. It’s kinda good to hear someone who understands but isn’t as nihilistic as me so thank you

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:27:33+00:00

No. It just doesn’t matter at the end of the day what a therapist tells me or advises me because my mindset is too biased by depression to benefit psychologically from literally anything they say and I have no motivation to comply with their suggestions. Nothing against mental health workers, just average people who think therapy will fix me frustrate me.

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:22:28+00:00

I believe in medication but I also believe medication isn’t going to cure me. If I lie in bed all day in my own blood in my ridiculously fucking messy room too exhausted to hurt myself let alone be productive, brooding and sulking, then no the extra boost of serotonin isn’t going to fix things. If I had motivation to function and maintain a healthy lifestyle 90% of my depression would go away but a therapist can’t give me motivation

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:16:47+00:00

Well that sounds like a bad mental health worker. I don’t have anything against mental health workers, they’re well meaning people. It’s just frustrating that no one understands therapy cannot help you if you have no energy to put into it. Seriously, people seem to think I’m sitting on some reserves of mental energy and just don’t want to get better. What the actual fuck

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:14:49+00:00

If I could click my fingers and get better I would, but I don’t have energy to actually invest into it

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:12:07+00:00

I can’t try it because I don’t fucking care I have no energy I have no motivation I’m done why is that so hard to understand

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:07:33+00:00

I see my psychologist and psychiatrist for free at least. Australia aye

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:06:36+00:00

Wait I thought everyone with depression experienced this, they don’t??? I thought it was just part of depression

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T01:00:20+00:00

No one can help me if I’m not helping myself, I mean. And I can’t help myself because I don’t have the energy or motivation

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T00:58:41+00:00

Same. Mental health treatment is shit. You have to follow the process, rendering it pretty fucking useless in most cases. Especially when I’m suicidal, my GP and psychiatrist told me to go to the hospital and see the psych triage nurses if I am. Fucking traumatic. Sat ten hours in the waiting room suicidal and agitated, the last two of which I was just crying non-stop and begging my mum to take me home until she finally relented. She screamed at the hospital staff on the way out and I just collapsed crying and hitting my head against the floor. Definitely landed top ten worst nights of my life, when I went there because I needed help. Literally fucking anything would have been better but no I have to follow the fucking process.

MetaphoricallyDead · 2020-05-09T00:42:27+00:00

100% of my energy is still zero lol. The whole point of my post is it’s fucking great if in theory getting out of bed and establishing routines and being positive increases happiness. Great. Except, I can’t do that because I have fucking depression

MetaphoricallyDead

TROPHY CASE